this is not a question i need advise?

Question

im 16 now and i was raped when i was 11 i hid it frommy parents my bf and my brothers i kno if i tell my bf and brothers they will track this person down and kill him literally but there is no proof that he raped me i hardly even kno what he looks like i dont want to come forward cuse im embarrased to tell anyone and i will get in troble for not telling my perents i need advise on how to sort out my prolems because my bf wants me to have sex with him and i want to move on i constentaly look over my sholder when i walk past were i was raped i need advise plzzzzz help me im soo upset i cry every night alone my bf has asked wots wrong and i cant bring myself to tell him

Answer 1

sweetheart you need counseling. go to a someone at school or at church or anywhere with someone you can trust. You cant recover from something so traumatic on your own.
You might want to tell your bf what happened so that he understands why you dont want to sleep with him.

Answer 2

Tell him, tell him, tell him. If you can't tell your boyfriend, tell someone. Even though you may feel that too much time has passed to do anything about it, you are wrong. You don't have to hunt the guy down and prosecute, but you do need to sort out the feelings in your head. The only way to do that would be to talk to someone about it. Preferably your parents, your parents will get you the help you need. This will never be over for you until you work through all of your emotional problems because of it. I'm sorry you had to go through that, no child should ever have to deal with the horror of being raped. Please tell someone, if not a trusted friend, parent or boyfriend, how about a teacher? There are also rape crisis centers around in the major cities that will provide counseling, please try to find one and get some help. You're too young to be carrying around such a burden alone.

Answer 3

Lea,
I am a 50 yr old woman that was molested when I was six years old. I know its not the same as being raped, which is a very violent crime, that has nothing to do with sex. I implore you to tell someone, if you dont feel comfortable telling your mom, you have to find an adult you trust an older sister, an aunt, an older cousin, your grandmother, or a school counselor. I never told anyone what happened to me and now I'm having issues with trust, self-esteem and confidence. After I was molested there were behaviors that I did not understand. I was a permiscuios teenager (meaning I had sex with a lot of different men) What happened to us should have never happened, unfortunely this society does not place a lot of value on womens lives. Women must learn to support and lean on each other. When I read your question I was compelled to answer. What happened to you was not your fault, never think it was. I know it can be an overwhelming thing but it is nothing to be embarrassed about, it was not your fault, I can not stress that enough. Usually, when something like this happens you know the attacker (sicko). You need to talk to someone, so you can get some answers this is a very difficult thing for you to handle on your own. I dont think your parents will be upset you were raped, they will however be upset you did not trust them enough to be able to talk to them about your problems. As far as proving you were raped, that is neither here nor there, something happened to you that has made you uncomfortable. When I read your question I wanted to let you know you are not alone. I dont want what happened to me the confusion, the denial and every thing that goes along with being molested and raped to happen to someone else. You have to take care of yourself. As for your brothers and your bf, when men love you they feel the need to take care of us. Let them take care of you, you need it now more than ever.
When I finally told my bf, yes he was very upset, but not with me, with my attacker. If you cant remember who the rapist was, that is okay, you will once you calm yourself, and tell someone. If you dont that is okay too, the most important person in this whole ordeal is you. You may write to me if you like. my e-mail is [e-mail]. I will be very happy to hear from you, if I must I will help you talk to whomever you want to tell no matter who it is. It is very important for you to tell someone.
God Bless You my dear, you are a very brave soul

I have sent you a website that has helped me considerably. You can check it out and they will also give you some very good advice.

One in the sisterhood
Always Charity

www.womensselfesteem.com

Answer 4

trust me when I say that your parents won't get mad at you if you tell them. of course they will be very mad, and rightfully so, at the person who did this to you but they will not be mad at you. it is very important to report these things immediately after they happen so there will be evidence but its not too late. you don't want the same thing to happen to someone else because you didn't make it known what kind of person this guy was. rape is never the victims fault so you don't need to feel that way. when you tell your parents let them know how scared you are feeling and I am sure they can arrange some sort of victim's counseling for you to help you get past this terrible thing that happened to you. remember if you don't tell then you are putting other girls at risk and this guy will feel like he can do it again because he didn't get caught the first time. summon all your courage and do the right thing and tell you parents. i am sure they love you and would want to help you. nobody should have to go through that alone. yes your boyfriend will be upset that it happened but I am sure he will understand why you are hesitant to have sex with him. once you get the help that you need you may then be in a better situation and move forward sexually. you can't do it by yourself so don't try. it won't just go away. tell your parents and get some help. good luck!!

Answer 5

You need counciling, sweetheart. And tell someone if you think you should. There are some sick as* holes in the world, but do not let one ruin your life sweety. I know it is hard, and I do not know how it feels, so I am not going to say that I do, but try to get help, and you might want to tell you bf, just so you have someone to be there for you. And you should also stay away from the spot where it happened. Hope everything is ok, and hope you have a great life!

Answer 6

If you cannot bring yourself to tell your parents, then you need to seek counseling on your own. However, I don't think this is something you should try to handle on your own. When such a harsh thing like this happens to someone, in most cases the more support they faster the victim is able to overcome and move on in their lives. I would suggest you arrange some type of meeting with you parents and maybe another adult figure or family member that you really trust to help you bear the news.

Answer 7

You need to go to a counsler if you don't feel comfortable with that tell you bf what happened and he should understand. If they yell and say who was it just tell them you can't remember anything. They should understand you were young and they will no why you didn't want to tell anybody. Plus you are only 16 you shouldn't worry about sex. You should really talk with a family member and tell them what happened so you won't have to cry at night. Hope it helps!!
P.s. You should really tell your parents about this or a family member
Hope this helps!!

Answer 8

Girl you better tell someone. You can not keep things bottled up like that. That person may be raping people still. You were way to young for something like that to happen. There is never a good age for that to happen. Get counseling. 5 years is a long time to let something as awful as that gnaw at you.

Answer 9

You need to tell your bf so you have someone on your side who understands what you went thru. The same thing happened to me when I was 12 by my stepdad. You deny it until it goes away but something will bring it up again and again. Finally, 25 years later I went to see a shrink and brought it out in the open and have finally gotten over it. Don't keep it inside.

Answer 10

For start you did nothing wrong here remember that. But I think you should be counseling. Perhaps ring a rape crises centre and talking to someone there. What you tell them will be kept as strictly confidential. Now about the boyfriend It up to you to tell him. If he told surely he will understand, and give you some support which you need.

Answer 11

sheesh, contact the rape crisis hotline - it is certainly never too late, and then you might want to tell on this guy. He probably has done it to other people. He certainly doesn't deserve to be walking around. You aren't giving your parents credit. If anything, all the people who will want to kill this guy are people who love you. Dump the boyfriend. You don't need that right now. You need to straighten out you before you can handle a relationship.