I don’t hate it as much as it may seem
I know life can’t always be a dream
Someday I will once again gleam
I’m the only one on my team
Sometimes it’s hard to row this boat upstream
Only to be pulled back down stream
I want to live in my daydream
I’d be resting in the suns beam
As his love helps me further upstream
So filled with joy I want to scream
Always loveless never dreamless
Fantasy’s so seamless
Reality feels so hopeless
I pray for a day that life is no longer graceless
The man that I love no longer faceless
2006-08-22 07:33:59 · 9 answers · asked by reedingcorey 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
Oh my god, thats awesome. I love your poetry. I have to say, i especially like the part where you said "Always loveless never dreamless, Fantasy´s so seamless, Reality feels so hopeless". I´ve always felt like that too..like the only thing i have is my dreams, which never seem to stop, even though i know if i thought realistically, that they could never actually come true. Im not sure if thats what you meant to say, and so i hope i didnt offend you in any way, with my interpretation. I think you´ve got lotsa talent, so please keep writing. :)
2006-08-22 07:48:19 · answer #1 · answered by Jaded 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it, but what you are doing is very wrong! Why? You don't need anybody to say what you create is great! Just get all you can give and put that+ your heart and soul into what you write, and you'll see some amazing feedback. I also write, check my 360 page and blogs. This is just beatiful, and some people have teir eyes closed, and can't see the beauty...and that's a pitty.
2006-08-22 14:47:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Excellent poem as far as rhyme, and it flows nicely (though the flow tempo doesn't fit with the lyrics, at least in my opinion). But critics almost always become critics because they can't be original (which is certainly true of me, I could never match this ability), so good job.
2006-08-22 14:41:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally... I like it. It seems to parallel a struggle with one self... and I like how you made every line rhyme. Nice job.
2006-08-22 14:53:55 · answer #4 · answered by Whatev' Yo' 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This a gay poem? :P It's alright, sounds like you're more focused in finding words that rhyme rather than your true emotions.
2006-08-22 14:41:22 · answer #5 · answered by ♥iamsleepy♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you may have some depression issues I will pray for you...
2006-08-22 14:42:20 · answer #6 · answered by Trixie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good JOB of writing. I like your poem but you don't need us to validate you.
"WRITE ON"!
2006-08-22 15:02:08 · answer #7 · answered by SNOOP 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's bad
2006-08-22 14:41:57 · answer #8 · answered by HendryDoso 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the rhymes might be a little more warried...
2006-08-22 14:41:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋