Okay so here is the situation...I have had a friend for years now (he is a male)...and about a year ago I visited him in Hawaii where he tried to get me to take our friendship into something else...I said no, and we moved on--I let him know it would ruin our friendship and so on--well he continues to make sexual type comments and tells me that one day I will be divorced and marry him...etc, well now I have a boyfriend (9 mo relationship) that I am planning on marrying next year and my friend is still making the comments-it makes me uncomfortable and not to mention makes my boyfriend a little angry. I have stopped talking to my friend as much because of this. Any advice on what I should do? I've already tried talking to him about it, and he insists he's only joking.
2006-08-22 07:23:40 · 13 answers · asked by vdubbchick 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Apparently he's a little bitter you've chosen someone else and since he's being offensive towards your fiance I would take that as disrespect. It's too bad he couldn't accept your friendship as is. Have little contact with him maybe he'll grow up in the process.
2006-08-22 07:32:23 · answer #1 · answered by mergirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have were given in problem-free words been at precise the following for about 3 weeks, so now not lengthy sufficient yet to have deep friendships. yet I have met some very type, thoughtful and humorous human beings so a recommendations and that i assume getting to appreciate them extra constructive. i'm in a position to surely see the position this section will be an excellent position to make friendships. The "connections/followers" technique and the flexibility to e-mail one yet another fosters that bond. in spite of the implication from some that i'm an abomination and a heretic, i'd be round for awhile, so ya ideal get used to it! Peace to you all!
2016-12-01 00:18:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could tell him that while you value your friendship with him, he is dishonoring you by making sexual suggestions to you that you don't care for or your boyfriend for that matter. Tell him that you will no longer have a friendship with him if he insist on being obnoxious!
Is he still in Hawaii? If so then don't take any phones calls from him. Get caller ID so you know who is calling you. If he is in another city, still don't take calls from him. If it gets to be too much then tell him you are going to report him for harassment!(Maybe he has a problem that you don't know of, and you could be the target!).
2006-08-22 07:39:30 · answer #3 · answered by December Princess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him one more time that you don't appreciate that sort of "joking" and that it's time for him to stop making them, now. Friends don't continually and deliberately do things to make you uncomfortable and feel bad.
I think you have lost your friend, frankly. He made it clear what he wants-and it's not just friendship. Since you do not reciprocate those feelings, the relationship is uneven-you aren't on the same page. You want a friend; he wants a girlfriend.
2006-08-22 07:37:17 · answer #4 · answered by Daisy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you talked to your friend, and told him that you don't like those 'jokes', and he continues, he's in the wrong.
You have a personal space (both physical and psychological), and when somebody else intrude on it without your consent it's wrong and its natural that you would feel intimidated and offended.
If he thought that his jokes were just that, jokes, and taken as that, then maybe I'd understand him. But if you already talked with him and asked him to stop, then stop seeing him. I think this is what you said, that you stopped seeing him.
I think that he's stopped being a friend if he doesn't understand that you need your space and he needs to stop his joking.
2006-08-22 07:35:34 · answer #5 · answered by Roberto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes truth comes in jokes i don't no how long you and your male friend have been friends but if he respected your friendship ,
he wouldn't even com at you sideways like that i would cut him off for awhile . if he ask why you don't call or keep in touch let him no
if he values your friendship he wouldn't even come at you like that .
girlfriend have your friendship with him all way's been like that i me en have your friendship been a flirting game if so then your part the blame for playing along game of cat an mouse and now you have someone your going to marry your friend might want to see if its been a game all along .or he has strong feelings for you
and don't no how to tell you . how ever it went you have to cut him loose if your going to be happy in your 9 month relationship.
2006-08-22 07:56:57 · answer #6 · answered by tahiratboop 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunly.. it might take a direct jit in the ego to get him to stop. like a direct "you know" conversation. He might stop talking to you but if you are in love with your man , what is he? yes i am sure you had good times together but you do not want to cause friction and who knows after he is over the shock of it all it might stop
2006-08-22 07:35:18 · answer #7 · answered by lissaizcool 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that if he says he's joking, you believe him. And, that the jokes make you uncomfortable and if he can't stop doing it, your friendship is over. If he does it again, dump him.
2006-08-22 07:33:46 · answer #8 · answered by Otis F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him frankly that he can only be your friend nothing else, Rather stop any relation with him otherwise he will always be troubling you mentally as well physically.
2006-08-22 07:33:21 · answer #9 · answered by sukhwinder b 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just cut off contact with him, for a little while, and let him see you won't tolerate that disrespect any more
2006-08-22 07:39:43 · answer #10 · answered by Ms T in GI 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋