I am 21 and i think I am ready to get married. I love my boyfriend(well now fiance). but i am afraid to do the wrong thing. am i rushing? im afraid i will miss out on something else. help
2006-08-22 06:51:41 · 56 answers · asked by adnama_n_werd 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you're the only person who knows the answer to this question, if you are having doubts i would suggest not to go through with it, but if you love him and are 100% committed to making it work then marry him. just remember you are young and you shouldn't rush into anything. if he truly loves you, he will wait until you are ready to take this big step.
2006-08-22 06:58:07 · answer #1 · answered by lucky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are questioning yourself then you are too young to get married. there should be NO doubt about it when you get married, and being 21 you will miss out on things especially if you have children right away. I thought i was ready at 21, and i'm now 27 and look back and think how stupid i was to think i was ready at that age. You grow up so much and you learn a lot about who you are and what you REALLY want in a relationship. I'm not trying to talk you out of your engagement, but just make it a longer engagement until you are 100% sure of marrying this man. Congratulations =o)
2006-08-22 07:04:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I married a man after 6 dates and here we are 45 plus years later. My sister in law married a man she just met after 7 dates and they have been married 35 years. Have a lot of friends who married after a few dates and have had long term marriages. Sometimes I think that its better than dragging an engagement out any length of time. If you are not sure. I suggest you not get married and take a good look at the relationship and see if you need to find you a hard working, nicer more dependable person that you have more in common with. If you have to ask then something is wrong with the picture.
2006-08-22 07:01:52 · answer #3 · answered by T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have no idea what your experiences have been, nor your beliefs about marriage and life, but I can tell you a little about mine.
I married at 21, I overlooked my flaws and his. I felt he could satisfy my insecurites, and I thought I could change him into the man I wanted him to be. I was very wrong. My insecurities about myself increased, and it took me a long time to realize that I could not change him.I didn't think anyone would have me as I was, and I had often felt that I'd settled for a relationship less than what I really wanted.
If I could do it over, I would not be in such a hurry. I would date more men, casually, before thinking of such a committment. I
My suggestion is to give it some time. Wait until you are sure. An engagement of a year or more is not uncommon and it gives you time to remain committed until you are ready to take the next big step. (Don't start planning the wedding just because you are engaged, give it time!)
2006-08-22 07:09:01 · answer #4 · answered by sheskiistoo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What makes you be afraid? Do you have a feeling that he's not the "one" or something?
If you do love him, but just feel that you are rushing into marriage I suggest that you tell your boyfriend that you'd prefer a long engagement... Set the wedding date to summer 2008, for example. That way you have a lot of time to think everything through.
And if -god forbid- you discover that getting married to him would be a mistake, you can back out in time. 'Cause you know, splitting from a fiancé ought to be a lot less complicated [but just as heartbreaking, unfortunately] that splitting from a husband...
That's what my twentysomething female boss did when her boyfriend proposed to her, and it just brought the two of them a lot closer.
2006-08-22 07:06:01 · answer #5 · answered by ♥ AnGeL oF cLaRiTy ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think you'll be missing out, this might not be the right time. But only you can make that decision.
Marriage is meant to be permanent. Longer than living somewhere, longer than a haircut, longer than a career. Longer than it takes for a baby to grow up and get married and have kids.
Til death do you part. Or divorce, which can be even more painful than death.
A wise man once told me, "Don't marry the one you think you can live with. Marry the one you don't think you can live without."
Talk to your mate if you have issues. If you can't, or you're uncomfortable talking openly, RUN! Your mate will be your mirror, your thermometer, and your image of God for as long as you're together. Make sure it's the right person.
See my previous answer regarding the ideal mate for more information.
2006-08-22 07:02:38 · answer #6 · answered by Baxter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO YOU LOVE EACH OTHER ?if so get married i was 18 when i married my husband and we have been happily married for over 28 yrs do you miss out on some things maybe but it doesnt matter if you are w/the love of your life
my son got marriedat 19 to a 16 yr old girl i wasnt happy cause she was w/child but they live w/ us and he goes to college and she is about to get her hs diploma with home school and go to trade school and they are very happy .... my oldest son got married in jan he is 26 and his brides is 20 and they are happy but i will tell you this ,make sure you have things in order in your life GOD your spouse your fly then friends if we do that things are just a o k god bless
2006-08-22 07:05:19 · answer #7 · answered by Msdeb gee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truly love your fiance, and know that he truly loves you, I think you should go for it. If you think he is mr.right, the best husband you can find, then I don't see a reason for you to be afraid. I know you must be nervous. Relationships are hard in general no matter what the age is. If deep down you don't love him and feel things are going too fast then you need to step back. How old is your fiance?
Best of Luck
2006-08-22 07:03:45 · answer #8 · answered by homelovegiver 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think 21 is perfectly OK! But, if you're in college and he is too... I think it would be a good idea to basically 'be married' for a while without the real vows and see if you could really do it. You don't want to miss out on school, just wait untill after graduation!
2006-08-22 06:57:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you really are ready to get married, then you wouldnt think that youre going to do the wrong thing or even be worried about it. maybe yall need more time before you go all the way througrh with it. if not, yal could argue more saying you cant do the stuff you once done and things like that. think about it long and hard and see what your parents and friends say, because they are around you more, so they would have better judgement on the situation then i do.
2006-08-22 06:59:30 · answer #10 · answered by scrappy06 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋