my husband says I never give him space. I work 40 hrs a week. He studies for computer animation(his passion). I ask him to spend quality time w/ me but he says he needs to study. He laughs and talks on the phone w/everyone else but me. He says he lives with me, I'm different. I love him dearly. But he says I'm a needy person! And his totally opposite!
2006-08-22 06:45:44 · 20 answers · asked by yosweetnessv 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Fear of rejection. Fear of abandonment.
2006-08-22 06:51:41 · answer #1 · answered by d h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Needy/clingy people are usually that way due to lonliness, low self esteem, or a feeling that they aren't "whole" unless they have a partner...
It's generally a turn off to most people, except those who "need to be needed" and thus dig having the clingy types around to feed their ego...
Sounds like y'all may need to have some serious discussions or perhaps see a counselor to help determine if you do ask too much of him or if he takes you for granted because you're readily available to him...
Wanting to spend an evening or two a week with your husband, and some weekend time, isn't needy....it's what committed people do...they spend time together, that's generally why they decide to be an exclusive couple in the first place...because they enjoy being around the other person and they want to do that often...
Maybe you are needy...but maybe he's just seeing any request from you as too much...can't know that from what you've shared, but it does sound like something y'all need to deal with...
2006-08-22 07:00:24 · answer #2 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I'd wonder if it were time to get out if you two can't spend quality time together then what is left! He is being a bit inconsiderate. If all is well and you don't want to do that then try a hobby or a sport to get you out of the house and fill the void he's causing especially at dinner time and we'll see how he likes that, when he see's that you're going on with life, you'll see him jump and start to make an attmept then. Trust me, it works! I took up swimming at the local health club, only had to go three times before I saw a change, he even started going with me. Good luck!
2006-08-22 07:12:38 · answer #3 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Low self esteem IS a symptom of needyness but it doesn't seem that way in your situation.Your husband sounds like an a%$.if your such opposites then why r u together?he sounds like maybe he's a loner.If so then u have a hard road ahead.Loners are just people who can't get along with others and they tend to be very selfish.You need to re-think this relationship and do something b4 it's all over.Being truthful is ALWAYS a good idea.
2006-08-22 06:56:47 · answer #4 · answered by hippiegirl672003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you just want to spend time with him, I don't think that your all that needy. Unless your requests for his time is overbearing. People do need space, some more than others. You have to have personal time to get stuff done that you want to get done.
I suppose you may want to set up time with him to do stuff. Perhaps have a date night, see a movie, some activity. Versus what you normally do when you ask for his time.
It could also be that he expects you to be there all the. You may want to get into your own thing, that way you'll both miss each other a little.
2006-08-22 06:55:27 · answer #5 · answered by -J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember -- Opposites attract.
Just think of protons and electrons. They love each other, but are separated by 'rings' around the core of an atom. They have space between them and more space depending on the number of protons/electrons in the atom.
No, we are not talking about neutrons and protons... they're the clingy ones, and always stick together, unless fusion occurs and the temperature increases drastically - then they start to shake violently and move apart, until the atom explodes.
2006-08-22 07:01:50 · answer #6 · answered by Josh 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Insecure people are usually needy. I am not saying you are insecure just that most insecure people are needy. I think I am a needy person at times. Like you I am the same way with wanting my husband to spend quality time with me. He works so much that when he is off I want him to spend that time with me. I guess I feel secure and happy when I am with him.
2006-08-22 06:54:36 · answer #7 · answered by Kelli 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A clingy/needy person usually has low self esteem. But it seems here you just want to be with your husband!!! i understand a bit as I am in a similar situation, so the kids and I do our own thing!!
2006-08-22 06:54:29 · answer #8 · answered by mustanglady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
explain to him that you dont feel appreciated or wanted. If he loves you hell want to make you happy by eliminating the space between you. But remember its a two way street. He deserves space because he obviously values his alone time. So schedule a date night once a week where you concentrate on eachother and nothing else. shut off the phones and lock the door and just be happy being together. pretty soon youll remember why you got married in the first place!!!
2006-08-22 06:54:39 · answer #9 · answered by browneyes12399 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
women are different than men. we tend to cling because we love them but they think it's because we have nothing better to do. anyways, the best thing to do is find a hobby or keep yourself busy doing whatever you can until his classes are done. It's a temporary thing remember that..kind of like a phase that will pass. so relax and realize many men if not all of them are like this.
2006-08-22 06:53:27 · answer #10 · answered by mimi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pretty much what he is telling you is that you want his attention to much. It sounds like he is being a jerk. All you want is for him to pay a little bit of attention to you, be a little affectionate. But all he is doing is being selfish. To tell you the truth I would lay it to him straight tell him how you really feel. Tell him that he pays everyone else attention and has time for everyone else, but won't give you the time of day.
2006-08-22 08:39:07 · answer #11 · answered by blueyegurl0283 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋