If I dont feel comfortable having my kids around my brother-in-law ( I have the terrible feeling that he would possibly sexually abuse a child ) how do I keep my children from being alone w/ him? I try to talk to my husband about this, & he says I'm being ridiculous, & sees no reason to keep our kids away from him. Recently my brother-in-law offered to take them to his cabin while my husband & I go on our cruise & I am terrified! My husband insists that they will stay w/ him; we do not see eye-to-eye; WHAT should I do!? my daughter is 9, my son 2. my brother in law is divorced w/ one child (12) who will be at the cabin, too.
2006-08-22 06:22:39 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
if u feel that strongly, under NO circumstances leave ur kids alone with him; let alone for days at a cabin. i don't care what ur husband says, that's ur maternal instinct warning u of danger. if u need to, let him go on his cruise by himself. children come first before spouses.
2006-08-22 06:32:11 · answer #1 · answered by lady sixx 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Follow your motherly intuition. God gave it to you for a reason. You know your responsibility is to protect your children at all cost. However, you must ask yourself this:
What if anything in your brother-laws history would lead you to believe that? or What lead you to that conclusion?
Not to put a rift in your marriage, but hopefully you'll stand firm with your conviction as a mother and protect your children. Hopefully, you're not overreacting based on some past experience that happened to you or some other people you may have heard about or know.
Just examine the legitimacy of the situation and your feelings first, then truly see if your actions are well founded.
2006-08-22 06:52:35 · answer #2 · answered by 247 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hell no dont do it that cruise is not that important and for ur husband to blow this off is uncaring about ur 9 year old the 2 year old cant help her y cant they go some where else? can u invite a female friend as a date for the uncle so she can keep an eye on ur kids.. this is a bad idea and u need to protect ur babies dont be a worthless thoughless mother things like this happen all the time. talk to ur daughter and give her a back up plane to escape if he trys to harm her give her a cell phone and tell her to lock herself and her brother in the bathroom and call 911 if he try anything that daddy will never do to her, better yet tell her to call 911 and her daddy if she feel as if uncle is bieng too friendly i will pray hard for u
2006-08-22 06:37:12 · answer #3 · answered by 1plum 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me like you have some unresolved issues. What you need to do is sit down and consider what would make you feel this way about your brother n law. Mothers have a maternal instinct but unless you have some concrete evidence you are going to seem like a crazy lady to your husband. Try and talk to some of your other family members to see how they feel there maybe someone else who feels like you, then at least you would have someone to back your feelings up. Until then try to keep your children within eye sight, better to be safe then sorry.
2006-08-22 06:48:06 · answer #4 · answered by iamahotty36 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk about a rock and a hard spot!!! I find that when I have that type of a feeling I'm right. Do you know of anyone that could go with the kids that you trust???? Then you could tell brother-in-law, that this person would love to come along with your kids.....Even if it's someone that's 16 or 17. To young to stay with them,but old enough to know what's going on.
2006-08-22 06:35:50 · answer #5 · answered by whataboutme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a strong feeling about it then please act on it no matter what your husband says these are your kids. I was in the same situation and after I got away from it I found the whole family were involved in some way with sexual abuse or abuse in some way. Always trust your judgment!!!
2006-08-22 06:39:02 · answer #6 · answered by twinsmakesfive 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We felt that way about my husbands brother and we moved away from him. After the kids grew up we found our he molested two of his children also he had molested two young cousins. So go with your gut feeling even though you may upset your husband and his family. Your mothers instincts are working well. I would not care if my husband insisted. My husband would have one big fight on his hands.
2006-08-22 06:32:56 · answer #7 · answered by T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u have any doubts at ALL about him being a careful responsible care taker for your child.. and especially regarding sexual abuse what ever u do DO NOT leave them alone with him EVER not in a cabin not anywhere .. who cares what ur husband says.. its endangering your children.. sexual abuse is horrible and will permantley damage your children's life if god forbid that ever were to happen to them.. do WHATEVER you can to keep your kids from staying with him.. even if that mean calling off the cruise..
2006-08-22 06:32:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What clues do you have about sexual abuse? Talk gently to your oldest kid and try to sort out the problem: talk to a social worker and ask for some help because if you have these feelings, it's better to clarify because something dangerous happens or you overreact> Don't understimate the situation but sort it out with or without your husband!!!
2006-08-22 06:32:28 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not comfortable then don't let them go. If something did happen you would hate your husband and yourself more than ever! It's hard that your husband is not listening to you because that is his job...putting your concerns first above all else...even if it his family. I have no idea what to do to get your husband to understand but in the meantime find somewhere else for your children to go.
2006-08-22 06:35:55 · answer #10 · answered by The Steele's 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋