I am so tired of the silent treatment. He is so moody and gets mad over the littlest things....sometimes over nothing at all...and when I ask "what's wrong" I either get "I'm fine" (when clearly he is not) or he doesn't talk to me for days. Not one word! It's even quiet in BED! Lately I have chosen to cope by ignoring him in return, and by the time he might feel like talking, then I'VE got an attitude! We're not married, but we've been together for 18 months, and living together for the last 8 months. I am sick and tired of this game. If he can't talk to me about what's bothering him, then we will NEVER be happy! How do I get him to communciate??? This is so FRUSTRATING.
2006-08-22 06:00:49 · 53 answers · asked by Juney 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ummm!
I bet UR Fed-up!
Men R notoriously difficult 2 get talking if they've clammed up.
From a lil life experience I'd advise U 2 wait.
He'll let U know when he's good a ready & it may take a while, B prepared 4 a long haul.
Men do seem 2 B from a different planet when it comes 2 communicating.
What's his malfunction with nothing 2 go on I bet U feel like guessing, huh?
Well take it from me, don't bother.
Just keep on UR merry way, B polite/cheerful & wait 4 the Volcano 2 blow it's top.
Hopefully he'll feel better & U can both move on.
Well I hope U find out soon.
2006-08-22 06:15:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men don't handle confrontation very well at all.They usually shut down if you keep asking what's wrong.They will talk about it when they are ready. If it bothers you terribly,maybe you should try telling him how it makes you feel to know that something is bothering him,but he won't talk to you about it.Assure him that you love him,and that whatever it is,you would like to atleast try to help him through it because you love him.Remember...it is easier to get them to open up,if they don't have to look you in the face while talking.Try talking while driving,or over the phone,or through letters.If none of this works...perhaps the problem is you(in his mind)and that is making it that much harder to talk to you about it.If this is the case tell him that you thought you could talk to each other about anything,and that since apparently you were wrong about that,you think it would be a good idea to end the relationship,because you want a relationship with open communication.
2006-08-22 06:17:38 · answer #2 · answered by girlqueen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, listen if he has issues now, imagine if you are married... it gets hard. communication is very important in a relationship... it is alot of work, without communication you have nothing. he needs to be a man and stop the silent treatment. and if i was you. dont stress it, the more he sees that it bothers you, the more he will do it.. sometimes they think that they have you right were they want you. try to talk to him, if he is not up to it.. just go on with your day. if he continues the silent treatment. act like you having a great time and you dont need him... trust me. been there, and done that. unfortuantly, i did not marry that person because he could not change. i married someone who does communicate and i am very happy with 3 beautiful children.. you cant change them, if nothing happens before you are married it will stay like that good luck.
2006-08-22 06:12:19 · answer #3 · answered by mia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, this sounds just like me and my bf, we live together too. What you need to do is give him love even when he is in those moods, let him know that you love him and hold him and tell him that you know something is bothering him. When he is silent to you, the worst thing is to be silent back because the space between you will keep increasing until you both just don't talk to eachother.
Tell him that if he wants things to work between you two, he needs to talk to you and if he loves you, he will trust you and tell you all his life's problems. he just needs to get to trust you and rely on you becaue you are there for him.
I just went through this problem and i gave my bf love and talked to him since he wouldn't talk to me, i showed him so much love. Then he started telling me what was wrong, it took a while but he does it now. Everynow and then though he won't say a thing, it's the way guys are they are supposed to be all "manly" and not be emotional.
Hope this helped and good luck :)
2006-08-22 06:09:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you need couples' counseling. Either that or threaten to leave. If he doesn't want to talk to you while you're there, then he can talk to himself or a wall when you're gone. You could try completely ignoring him, giving him the silent treatment as well, make your own dinner, go out with friends and have a blast, talk on the phone a lot. Show him how it feels to be ignored.
2006-08-22 06:08:09 · answer #5 · answered by ghostlysun 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
men, cant live with them and cant kill them and get away with it. id say this is probably a pretty common problem for most women, i know my husband does not like to talk when things are bothering him and he just gets even more upset when i keep asking him what is wrong. but if this is something that is happening a lot i would say there are probably bigger problems, do you have any idea what could be wrong? maybe problems at work or with family? i would just try and let him know that you want to help and let him know that if he wants to talk you are there for him. again though if this is happening a lot something else is going on besides your communication problems, i dont know but good luck anyway.
2006-08-22 06:12:55 · answer #6 · answered by domsmom701 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there all right! My 2nd husband was like that. I was with him for 10 years and he never changed. Unless you are ready to put up with this forever, my advise would be to LEAVE. If you do, be prepared for him to change his tune and be all sweet and wonderful while trying to get you back-DON'T FALL FOR IT! After you are back, and things settle down, everything will be right back to the way it is now. I went through that twice before I learned (and his treatment killed the love I had for him). You do not need to settle for this crap. Let him play his little pouting games with someone else. You deserve a MAN who can deal with things like an adult. Good luck to you.
2006-08-22 06:17:07 · answer #7 · answered by Debbie D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is acting childish! Are you two old enough to be living together if you are going to act like this??? and if he gives you the silent treatment why are you sleeping with him? (you said he was quiet in bed!) you shouldnt be giving him any if hes treating you this way - you are just reinforcing his behavior! he knows he can act this way and you still give him what he wants - so you are promoting this behavior! i would say sit down and have a long talk with each other - and if you two dont talk and want to act like 5 year olds with the silent treatment then i say you rethink your relationship! good luck!
2006-08-22 06:09:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever the situation is before marriage...it only gets worse after marraige because the two of you get more comfortable with each other. Take this as a whole herd of red flags and FIND SOMEONE WHO MAKES YOU HAPPY!!! Don't walk, RUN away from him immediately! He doesn't respect you and respect is the most important thing in a marraige!!!
2006-08-22 06:08:41 · answer #9 · answered by Julia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to be pessimistic, but if you think it's bad now wait until you get married. Things that may just irritate you now will really get under your skin. Don't get married and have children before you decide this isn't the relationship you want. Put yourself first and find someone that WANTS to talk to you, no matter what.
2006-08-22 06:10:01 · answer #10 · answered by i have no idea 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋