I have two friends/ neighbors that I feel really close to. However, they are both friends with a woman that I can not stand. She screamed at me in the local pub on night about my relationship (which she knows nothing about). This woman is very controlling over my one friend. The other never got along with her until recently. SO last weekend we are all at the local hole in the wall bar. My friends would not even talk to me until this woman left. Then they came up to me like nothing had even transpired. I am 30 my friends are 52 the other in her 40's. I felt this was very immature. I had a couple friends there that night that don't get along but I spent time with both of them seperately. I feel that they shunned me only because this woman was there. It really hurt my feelings. Now when I see them outside I just don't feel the need to be social as I did before. Am I the one being immature? I just feel that you can have more than one friend at a time even if those friends don't get along.
2006-08-22 05:58:00 · 7 answers · asked by geni 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
When I say they didn't speak to me until the woman left.... I am not talking about a few minutes. More like a couple hours.
2006-08-22 05:59:04 · update #1
I am still polite and speak to them or have a short chit chat if they approach me. I just don't go out of my way to socialize with them anymore.
2006-08-22 06:39:00 · update #2
To Gonzo....My boyfriend and her husband worked together. My boyfriend said things to her husband when we were arguing. He doesn't do well with telling what he has done wrong only my fault in the arguments. I do not feel I contributed to the problem.
2006-08-22 06:42:41 · update #3
You're not over-reacting- but I wouldn't confront these women about their behavior, either. They're being immature, and it's their problem, not yours. Don't be mean to them, but don't bend over backwards to be nice to them, either. If you blow them off, it will just confirm for them whatever that woman has said about you behind your back. It will also burn bridges. It sounds like you already have other friends who aren't fickle. Just stick with them. Continue to be nice to your neighbors- maybe eventually they'll realize they're not interested in being manipulated by the other woman anymore. And if they can't come to that realization on their own, then it's not worth wasting your time trying to win them over.
2006-08-22 06:11:40 · answer #1 · answered by abcd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW!!! Why in the world would you even entertain the thought/idea that people (at the age you mentioned 52 and 40) who, would allow someone to control them to that level should be your friends. Utterly ridiculous!!!
No problem saying hi and bye, but it's quite obvious you're a WHOLE lot more mature that these women... seriously. MOVE ON.. matter of fact.. RUN!!!
It's very embarrassing that you know people that old who behave in that manner. Wow! How weak of them and shameful too. People grow up and grow apart and you all are soooooooo NOT in High School. I mean think about it.... what REAL adult behaves that way. When you have true friendship with someone they let you know when you're tripping. True friends hold you accountable for your negative actions. True friends don't get angry, avoid, ignore or initiate/contribute to drama. Get a grip... it's totally ok for you to move on. Just make sure you remain cordial and respectful whenever you bump into them. But do yourself a favor...don't hang with that crew and PLEASE get some better friends..... WOW!
2006-08-22 13:19:27 · answer #2 · answered by 247 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm.
So this person you don't like was discussing a relationship of yours. My first thought is that either you shared, or one of your neighbors shared your business with this other person. Or overheard bar talk maybe.
It's hard to take seriously issues revolved around hanging out in a bar. But frankly, I'm willing to bet you have a hand in all this too.
Drinking buddies are just that. My impression is that you are placing too much trust in this kind of relationship. If you can't even discuss this matter in a mature fashion with them, how good are these relations in the first place?
2006-08-22 13:21:34 · answer #3 · answered by Gonzo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like this woman is kind of trashy and gets aggressive easily, and i would guess that these other 2 woman are just trying to keep under her radar and not do anything to annoy her as they probably think it is better to have her as a friend, than an enemy. they need to grow up, they are not at school anymore. these 2 women are cowards, i would forget about them and go out with your other mates and just say a polite hello when you see these women.
2006-08-22 13:55:47 · answer #4 · answered by Summer Rain 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not over-reacting. They are in the wrong. They were immature. How silly of them.
2006-08-22 13:17:29 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A little yes.
www.idearibbon.com
2006-08-22 13:12:04 · answer #6 · answered by floralexpert 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pee in their gardens....
2006-08-22 13:32:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋