holding to much?

Question

ok i have roomates that just had a baby bout a week agao and the have her in thier arms constantly..i mean ...seriously all the time....they even have her in the bed now slleping with them....which i feel is not only unsafe but a really bad habbit to start.....now...im talking like if the come downstairs and watch tv they lay on the couch with the baby all day long ...im talking lik 8 to 10 hours with the baby sleeping on them ..all day long or they are holding her in the kitchen or....or laying in bed with her...they only thing they dont do is take her to the bathrrom with them ..they pass her to one another..either mom or dad takes her....im just thinking that thats really to much....isn't it....?how is the baby suposed to learn to calm herself when mom and dad have her in arms all day..they have already said that she freaks out now if they put her down.....its just crazy...the other day the mother told me that as soon as a baby cries even whimpers she should be picked up? am i wrong

oh ok...im sorry but if i have to live with it them it is most certainly my buissness ....its not my fault he knocked up his girlfriend...how do u feel if i told u she doesnt believe in god and is not goin to baptize the baby...

im going to delete this question in about 5 mins because ..all u people make me sick its such a beautiful thing ahh babies....what a gift......ladee f*ckin da......ur probaly the same ppl that thinks its juat fine n dandy to openly breastfeed in public.....my life is changin because of someones poor actions in their life....and i dont care how touchy a subject it is....u can hold a bbay but layin round all day id not ok ..i dont care who told u it was all it does is creates a huge dependancy issue in the long run.......father is goin back to work soon..mom goes in a few months and she is going to be in school....so ..whats the baby gonna be feeling then..abandoned....went from being help 24/7 to nothing..... yea real fu*kin healthy for a baby.....

me and my boyfriend ..live here too and we cant move out the our rent is 2200 new family cant aford it so no im stuck here id rather move out but i cant...and they have a basenet in the room 1 foot away but that wastn good enough the baby had to be in bed....

first of all i never said i didnt have a child and yes i did take many child care classes.........and am a great parent and i can also see when a mother is doing harm to her child and i feel...which is my right to hold my own opinion that holding a child literally 24/7 will cause longer problems in the long run.......im not saying that u shouldnt hold ur baby nut if the child is asleep and is just pefectly fine sleeping why do u have to hold it....let it be alone its fine.....its not child abuse i mean really u bitches need to back up off of me....ask one lil question and the whole world comes down on u....and my grammer or speeling

Answer 1

I understand you are well-meaning but this is their child. The practices they are using (cosleeping and baby carrying and wearing) are becoming more accepted by the american medical community. Both offer great benefits and can help babies thrive. When you have children you can raise them any way you want but you should be careful when telling them how to parent--it's a touchy subject.

Answer 2

You sound like an attention whore. OMG someone else is getting all the attention! Get over it. You can't spoil a baby by holding them "too much". What's it any of your concern anyway? Notice I said CONCERN and not business! It's not your kid. If they end up having a spoiled brat, oh well. Then you can go right up to her and say I told you so. Kids get to an age where they don't want to be held at all. And think about it, would you like to hear the kid cry all the time? And the sleeping arrangement is 100% up to them. So is everything else concerning THEIR child. Wait until you have one, maybe you'll get it then. Carrying the baby in your womb for 9 months creates quite a bond that is hard to let go of in the least. A baby can't tell you what's wrong, so it's best to keep them as comfortable as possible. And the baptism issue, again, not your kid.

So basically, to answer your question. Yes, you are wrong. You're sticking your nose a little too far into other peoples' business. If you honestly feel that she's holding the baby too much, why not offer to take the baby so she can have a break. Then, go sit on the bed/couch and lie her down on a blanket beside you. Tell her mom she really likes it. Because once they get a little older, they do need to be put down for tummy time, at least.

Answer 3

to much holding can be a bad thing. I'm guessing though, that once the child starts sleeping through the night, the constant holding will stop. keep in mind that this is a new addition to the family. the child is like a new toy, you want to play with a lot when you first get it, then the glamor wears off.

now as for this sleeping with mom and dad, many cultures do this until a child is 4 or 5. it helps the child feel secure. i think once the child is sleeping through the night, it needs to be moved to it's own room. i agree with you about not sleeping in the same bed. if someone rolls over, they could smother or crush the baby. if they want to keep it in the room, it needs a cradle or crib.

Answer 4

They hold the baby too much. It has to know the feeling of being alone sometimes. And there is definitely something wrong with them lying on the couch all day long anyway, baby or no baby. Don't they work?
They're going to have to let the baby freak out every once in a while. Can you imagine what that child will be like at 2? or at 10? or at 18? I don't think I'd want to be around a person that spoiled.

Answer 5

I don't understand why this bothers you so much. Babies need to be held and cuddled as much as possible. Human contact makes them feel safe, secure, and loved. If the parents are tired of lying around with her all day, they could get a sling or other baby carrier so that they can be up doing things and still hold the baby at the same time. (And yes, I think it is perfectly appropriate for a mom to feed her hungry baby by bottle or breast wherever she happens to be.)

Would you be happier if the parents just let their baby cry all day and night because they weren't holding her? My guess is that if they let her cry for hours at night, you'd be here complaining about that.

I'm sure it won't be easy to figure out a way to do it, but either you or they need to find a different place to live if you can't work out these new arrangements. Good luck to you!

Answer 6

leave them alone. the baby will tell them soon enough if it is being held too much. they are very soon going to know it is not the best thing in the world to hold one all the time.
If it is indeed not the best thing.
Sleeping with the baby when it is a newborn is okay also.
Look you are not going to go to sleep so soundly you roll onto the baby and hurt it. I know I have raised a couple. And you have to rest sometime people. So when the baby crys in the night wanting to be fed. and then is wide awake and you have had 2 hours sleep and have to get up in few hours even if you don't work . Put it in the bed with you and go back to sleep, the baby will be happy to be with someone and just lay there and kick and coo. You get some sleep and all are happy.

Answer 7

How would you know what's healthy for a baby? Have you done any research? Or are you just making all this up based on nothing at all?

And of course it's totally ok to breastfeed in public? Why wouldn't it be?

Did you really expect to come on here and have everyone agree with you? That was pretty ignorant, but I guess that's just the way you are.

On the whole sleeping with baby in the bed thing, it CAN be done safely (just as crib sleeping can be done unsafely): http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t102200.asp

I thought you were going to delete this question? If so, please get on with it. Otherwise, I might actually waste more of my time debating baby care and parenting with someone who clearly doesn't understand the first thing about babies, parenting, or debate.

Answer 8

Our American culture is one of the only ones who don't hold our newborns enough. I don't know why people think we have to lay them down when they are brand new to this world. Other cultures hold their babies 24/7 for a long time, even while working in fields.
Babies are all about needing our love and support.
Your roommates are doing just fine with the baby. I would be more worried if they put the baby in the crib and never picked him/her up.

Answer 9

I don't care if the gf doesn't believe in god or is going to baptize the baby. That is her right. Your statements are pretty funny.

Having a baby is a very emotional thing. If they feel all lovey and want to cuddle and hold their newborn I say let them. It's not harming the baby it may get the baby used to being held and not want to be in a crib or playpen, but that is their issue. Just let them the parents decide what is right for their baby.

Answer 10

There is absolutely nothing wrong with holding a baby all the time. When they are that little, they need the love and attention. Also, I cosleep with my new baby, and I also did with my 3 year old from 6 months to a year. The only one I didn't with was my 2 year old because he didn't like sleeping with us. Anyway, they instinctively know the baby is in bed with them. I am a very restless sleeper, but when my baby is in bed with me, I don't move. How they choose to raise their child is none of your business. I hate when people criticize my parenting style! Also, there is NOTHING wrong with breastfeeding in public. It is a natural thing. Do you eat in public? Do you go to restaurants? People don't criticize for that, so why criticize when a baby is eating?