Should I ditch my oldest friend?

Question

We've been friends for more than 20 years and she was my bridesmaid. Our young sons are friends. But she's such a moan! She never has a good thing to say about anything - talk about half empty. She can also be quite rude to me when she thinks she's being funny yet seems to lack a sense of humour herself. Maybe she was always like this, but I don't think so. I've come to realise I dread speaking to her as it's always wall-to-wall griping...what do I do?

Answer 1

Sounds like it is time to either move on or at least cool it with her....might want to keep some distance and if she doesn't come to realize that you've grown tired of her crappy attitude maybe then you should just cut her loose.

Also sounds like you've grown too far apart anyway because you didn't mention any 'good' things about her, even though you've know her for such a long time....that pretty much tells us that you don't really seem to like her anymore.

People can just naturally grow apart...good luck with your decision....

Answer 2

Just talk to her and sort things out. Maybe you and her need sometime together and express how you feel about her and her behavior. Make her listen to what you have to say and vice versa. I don't think you should ditch a friend who have been there for you for more than 20 years. If I were you, i would do anything to fix the friendship. If it doesn't work, just hang out with her less but still keep in touch with her..let her know what you're up to and stuff you know.

Answer 3

I know exactly what you mean. I had a friend like that too. We were friends for over 22 years we were each others maid of honors. She had her first daughter and I was "auntie" but boy when she got prego with her second kid all hell broke lose. She turned into a you know what. Needless to say we haven't spoken in over 5 years. Do I regret what happened? Sometimes but only because I miss her oldest daughter. But not the ex friend. If I never see her again it would be to soon. So you need to do what you feel is right. Good luck

Answer 4

Tell her how you feel. When she starts moaning say: Stop moaning! Make it a joke but she'll soon get the message.
If she's rude say: Ouch! What did I do to deserve that?
Tackle each problem as it happens and the resentment will fade away. You might realise you don't like her anymore, but at least you'll have dealt with the situation.

Answer 5

you cant just dicth someone who you have been friends with for that long ... Sit her down and tell her how you feel tell her everything you have noticed about her ... If she has changed tell her you dont like the new her ! I've been through this sort of thing before.. Maybe this could be some sort of phase shes going through mayber she's stressed out or maybe there could be something about you that has her jealous the slightest thing you might be getting more male attention than her you might have a better job than her you might even have a better life! These things do really change people but you wont know wat it is with her untill you sit down and chat

Answer 6

I recently had the same problem. I also realized she thought of me less and less since she met her new boyfriend. She told me not to call her because when she gets out of work she doesn't want to speak to anyone. It is not like I am up her *** all the time. I thought I was like family to her but I guess I was wrong. So I ditched her and I realized I was right to do so and my husband agreed. She no longer showed me respect and just stopped by and my husband works days so he got no sleep and a 12 hour shift.

Answer 7

I would tell you how you feel. Ask her if she is depressed...

If she is truly your friend she will listen to what you have to say and try to resolve this issue.

Maybe she feels you have changed...maybe she might be reacting to a certain way you are being with her?

There are always two sides and its always easy to see the bad in someone else rather than yourself. You may be giving off bad vibes, she is picking them up and there might just be simply cross wires.

Good Luck and I would try to keep the friendship

Answer 8

What do you propose by ability of they're "conserving you returned"? are they like actually struggling with you from speaking to different pals or the female you like? or do you experience embarrassed which you're pals with them thinking that different all people is going to think of undesirable approximately you via fact which you already know them? If the 2nd occasion I gave you is what you propose then that's no longer cool dude! :( you're beginning off to faux like somebody you're no longer(poser) you're able to never do this for the duration of your pals via fact once you're gonna finally end up on my own(i've got considered circumstances..have confidence me) they're those you may have confidence the main cus u've time-honored them longer than those skaters. If some thing is going incorrect you may consult with them. If it fairly is the 1st occasion then tell them that frequently you're unlikely to be waiting to cling out with them cus you have different pals too, yet do no longer ditch them. you may spend some days with your new pals and another days with your previous pals or much greater advantageous you may try accumulating them. with regard to the chick, your pals should not be a reason for no longer liking you..if that's so then she could be a snob, conceited guy or woman wish that enables ;) make stable selections

Answer 9

True friendship is a rarity in this world and you should by now be able to say anything you like to her without causing too much upset. Tell her how you feel and that you are browned-off listening to her bitching. My God, only the other day, I made a very disparaging remark to my best friend about a girl he was with, only to be told that she was his sister. Did I feel a twit - as I mean what I said was not really very nice. No problem - it cost me to put it right. Tell her off - maybe that's what she needs. My lifelong friend died a few years ago and I miss him dreadfully. When he died, part of me died too. We knew everything about each other. True, best friends are rarities and should be treasured and forgiven all their faults, for as sure as hell, you miss them when they are gone. Good luck, God bless..........

Answer 10

It is obvious that you have outgrown your friend. It is time to start taking steps to distance yourself from her. That doesn't mean that you need to be rude, it just means that you are finding other things to do and that you are a busy mom. So, when she calls you, don't call her back right away, wait a day or so. And if she calls to make plans, tell her you can't this time, but how about next time. etc. She will find another friend as time goes on...