I need some help.?

Question

I don't have the greatest self-esteem. My husband tells me all the time how much he loves me and how beautiful I am, and I can tell that it bothers him when I don't see it. and if you are a girl or guy with a low self-esteem then you will understand that it's hard to belive them. I love the inside of me but not the outside. anyone have any sudjestions? and please if you have the urge to be an ***, hold it back because I dont have time for you.

Answer 1

What makes a woman more atractive is CONFIDENCE.

Regardless of how you look in the outside, is confidence and a positive attitude what makes you really atractive.

I understand what you mean. Even if you are beautiful on the outside, sometimes is hard to belive that you are worth to be loved. Your husband loves you and there is no need to keep on questioning his love for you if he has given you no reason at all for you to doubt it.

Look at yourself on the mirror and say: I'm worth it! I'm worth it! You have to belive it yourself because no one can convince of the opposite. You have to learn to love yourself before seeking approval or reassurance from some onle else, as being responsible for your self-image is a job that is yours and not your husbands, and after a while he will get frustrated that he can't convince you that you are beautiful or loved. This may drive him away, since he will feel as he is your problem because he makes you feel inadequate, unloved and that he failed to prove it to you... see?

I recomment self-help groups and therapy to find the root of your self steem issues. Low self steem is very corrosive for a relationship.

Good luck

Answer 2

Hello Jellibeen, what ever you try you will have to remember that it takes time. You suddenly won't get this self-esteem overnight.
My wife had similar issues. I also would compliment her all the time and let her know how much I love her. What started to turn it around for her was when I told her to look in the mirror and see herself through my eyes! I'm sure that when you see yourself, the first thing/s you look at is the areas where you feel you need work. DON'T DO THAT! Next time look at the areas where you feel good about yourself! I'm sure your husband says your beautiful because to him you are! He is the second most important person in the world to you. The most important person is yourself! Start seeing what he sees in you.
Also remember that beauty is like an iceberg. What you see on the outside is only the tip of the real beauty that lies within you!
I'm sure your husband sees that also.
Once you do, your self esteem will start to grow and you will feel so much better about everything!
Good luck

Answer 3

Try and curb your negative thinking. One has to make an effort to do so. Perhaps, you can start by controlling your expression of this thinking. For example - if your husband gives you a compliment, smile and say "thank you", instead of saying something that betrays your doubt. Also - have you been checked out for depression? Sometimes low self-esteem can be a symptom that something is going on in your brain. There are some pretty good treatments out there that can help. Just a thought.

Answer 4

People who don't have low self esteem, really can't understand it and will get frustrated. I'm not sure what you mean that you love the inside but not the outside? Perhaps your low self esteem is driven by your appearance? Whatever the cause, seek out a therapist or support group that can help you.

Answer 5

Coming from a person who still has low self-esteem, maybe these pointers will help you. Try to take some time for your self. I have found that if I just go somewhere just to think about things, helps me feel better in the long run. Have you talked to your husband about it, I think that it upsets them more if there not aware of whats going on. Talk to him and maybe he will be able to help. Most people don't understand that with people with low self-esteem it's harder for us to believe that we are beautiful. I am still trying to get it through my think head, but it takes time. Good Luck

Answer 6

Focus on the things that you do love about your outer appearance. Do you have pretty eyes? Lovely skin tone? Anything at all that will make you see some of the positives. Also, look at yourself in the mirror everyday and tell yourself you are beautiful. Eventually, you will start to believe it. The more you are down on yourself, the harder it is to see the beauty.

Accentuate the pretty things about yourself..buy some new make-up...get a new hairstyle, etc. Hope this helps!

Answer 7

They do have books on self esteem or you could go see your doctor to see if he has any suggestions..I have a very low self esteem and my bf tells me he loves me and how pretty I am and I don't believe him.But I hate both the inside and outside of me.

Answer 8

Accept the complements he gives you and just say thank you. Maybe at some point you'll start believing in yourself the way he believes in you. Take a good look in the mirror and try and see what he sees in you. Maybe you've just neglected yourself. You need to take a breather and invest in your outward self. Maybe a nice spa day. Pamper yourself for a change. Feel good.
Get a facial and massage, your hair and make-up done. Buy your self a new outfit, you know you deserve it!!!!

Answer 9

I truly feel you on this one. I am pretty but have never been called a stunner....what would make you more happy with yourself within reason. I have taken to going to the gym because I put on some pounds...I have started selling skin care and make-up and I have learned a lot about protecting my skin and making the best of what I have. Work on better and being the best you, you can be.

Answer 10

I know what you mean what i did was went and got my haircut did my nails and got a new outfit now everytime i feel myself slip into a slump i got a get a little makeover he will never be able to say enough to make you feel pretty you have to do it for yourself and don't worry you will feel better in no time just try and work on it for yourself