if a man really loves a women dose her apperance matter?

Question

me n my partner have been together for 3 yrs we have a great relationship but the sex has died down alot we use to go at it every day some times twice but now iv put on a bit ov wieght not much 5-8 kgs im thinking its because of my apperence coz now we only have sex like 3-4 a month i know he is faithful iv asked him what the problem is and he says its him some advice pls

Answer 1

To be together long term can always pose a problem with boredom. What was exciting becomes ordinary. What was fresh becomes stale. What was new becomes old. Confidence is a magnet in and of itself and you seem to have lost some from what appears to be a little bit of weight gain. Go to the gym. Lose it. Let go of your interdependence on this man and what he is thinking and feeling and get into yourself. A new body would excite you and him. If you get into you, then he will probably follow your lead.

Answer 2

First of all, need to point out that you owe taking of your body and keeping it in good shape for many reasons other than being attractive.

Men and women both to a certain extent are attracted o each other because of the phyisal appearances and in a good relationship that often translates into love. If not for this phycial attarction, you might have ended up with someone of your own sex.

Bottom line is try and get your body back in shape and also have another look at your sex life. Sex is also better and more effective when moderated and regulated. 3-4 times a month is a good average for most married couples.

Having said that start also building the non-physical aspect of your love. Start finding deeper meanings into a realtionship and you will be just fine.

Answer 3

I don't think that looks has anything to do with your problem. It might be the fact that he's become comfortable with you. When ever a man is with a woman too long they tend to not want to impress. Has he been working a lot of long hours? Is he really tired all the time? Give him a break and don't expect sex just be glad you get it. I've been with my guy for 3 years and we have once a week, but we don't live together and he works 2 jobs. I feel bad about asking him for attention. I give him all the attention by giving him massages, and letting him relax. Eventually, I get the attention back, and it's great.

Answer 4

Yes, her appearance matters! You could love someone no matter how much they weigh, but are you going to be still physically attracted to them 5,10,15kgs later? Maybe, maybe not.

However, that might not be the only factor; people just tend to stop having sex as frequently the longer they've been together. It happens.

What is the reason for the weight gain? Did you have a baby? Job stress? Or is it complacency? It actually matters more what you feel about your body - do you still feel sexy, desirable at your current weight; if not, do something about that, don't put the blame on him.

Answer 5

i think the "spice in the relationship" has died down a little. however, you guys have been together for three years, so that's
kinda normal. it tends to happen even to the best realtionships.
i'm sure he is being faithful, so dont't worry about that.
as for your appearence, don't get too down on yourself. He still loves you, but why dont you take the inititave and give yourself
a mini makeover? treat yourself to some new makeup or a new
dress or something, i love dressing up, it makes me feel so much better. maybe get your hair done.surprise him when he
gets home. hell rent a dirty video, try a new place to eat out at,
make a nice dinner for the two of you, try something new, that oughta put some ooomp back inot the realtionship

Answer 6

It may be him. Honestly your looks don't really matter, if he loves you, and you had a very active sex life before you put on the 5 KG's then that isn't going to stop him. It may be that he is having some problems himself. And may have nothing to do with you.

Have an open and honest conversation with him as to what the problem is, work on identifying the issue and solving it as a couple, and stress to him that it isn't his problem alone it is your problem as a unit.

I hope this helps, but trust me 5 kg's isn't much weight and it shouldn't affect how he feels about you, atleast I can't concieve of how it would.

Good luck sweetie.

Answer 7

Yes, appearances does matter. As with any healthy relationship, one must treat ourselves with respect. Doing so, we should keep clean, dress in a neat appearance and keep our bodies healthy. A little extra weight should not be an excuse for neglecting these important things. Communication is the most important part of a relationship. Sex is a bonus from great communication. Dress up - go out on a date and talk. Good Luck.

Answer 8

I know just how you feel. I myself have put on some extra pound after giving birth to 3 children( 3yr old, 1yr old & 10 mth old). And i find myself asking does he really see me or the pounds. But i also know that he work hard and recognizes the most important things about about our relationship. And that is the individuals we are inside. The most beautiful person on the outside can be the worst person on the inside sometimes. Sex is not everything. In fact, it's just like eating Mass quantities of chocolate. Find other activities that you can have fun doing and making a connection in. Sometimes sex plays itself out like music. You hear a song and the next thing you know its everywhere being played one too many times and you can get tired of hearing it. but if you think it really is your weight than lose the weight and see what his reaction after wards. Then you'll really know if was it your weight.

Self note: Remember to love you for you first.
And if you decide too Shed the pounds, do it for yourself.

Answer 9

i'm in the same position as you. i lost a lot of weight after having my son, who is 2. i looked really great, i worked out and watched what i ate. my husband was proud of me, and we had sex quite often...then i slipped and gained about 20lbs.+ over the course of 8 months. he noticed, and slowly the sex disappeared. i asked him why, and he was honest and said it was the weight. however, he assured me that he still loved me, my personality was the same, it was just my appearance. he said that it was a turn off to see that i didn't care about my body anymore--as opposed to when i was pregnant, i had a reason why i gained so much weight, and that didn't bother him. it was afterwards, when i had no good excuse. so, i decided that i am going to stop pigging out and start exercising again. it's not that our husbands are mean, horrible people...how would you feel if he packed on the pounds too? i know i would probably feel the same.
just try and lose weight. if he sees that you are putting in the effort, even if it takes awhile to lose the weight, he will start to appreciate you more. remember, it's not the actual weight itself, it's WHY you put on the weight. good luck and don't give up! ;-)

Answer 10

Some guys it wouldn't matter if you looked like a whale they would still be totally into you and be so turned on by everything you do, others they need more than just the love. Your weight shouldn't have anything to do with it, but if you think it does try to lose a little of it...If it's still the same way then maybe he is telling you the truth and it is just him....(or maybe he is getting it from somewhere else and you need to leave his nasty a** alone)

Good Luck!