i am a single mother of three beautiful children who recently lost everything we owned to a chimney fire on the farm... help has really poured in but i still feel such a huge loss.....like some really important pieces of our lives are gone...
2006-08-22 04:55:19 · 10 answers · asked by SERENDIPITY 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I am a retired counsellor and so have worked with many others in situations like yours. Your feelings are absolutely normal and perfectly understandable.
What you are experiencing is the wrenching spectre of loss. Those things in our lives which we attach a significance to are those very things which can so easily be lost.
A big, important piece of your life is gone and I would seriously advise you to go and talk with a professional counsellor who is experienced in helping clients deal with loss and grief issues.
Give your children a big hug! They're at least as frightened of what they lost as you are and may begin to fear that you will be taken from them as well.
2006-08-22 05:03:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for your loss, but as you said you have 3 children and they will grieve as long as you do. I know as a child some of my worst memories are actually from my parents problems. I remember like yesterday when I went to my grandmas and my mom was there with clothes and sitting down to tell me we were not going back to our house where daddy was. I was 5 I had a baby sister who was just born.
Let me tell you my mom is my hero, I know she carries more stress then I could imagine. Losing your possessions is hard, but they can be replaced. New pictures can be taken, new memories made. The pain will go away when you let go of it and see the silver lining in the clouds. 3 children should give you something new and exciting to look forward to everyday. Dont spend one day of thier precious lives looking back on this tragic event. You may miss milestones they make, and when a parent is side tracked with the problems the kids look to someone else for attention. My mom went on to build a very sucessful company and provided more then most 2 parent families can provide. The clothes, houses, pools, cars, could not stop me from getting involved with undesirable kids. My mom was so busy working she did not see what was happening she was too busy working. I moved out at 18 and around 20 I moved in with a COOL family. Yeah the parents partied, it was great. Great until thier oldest daughter cam to me and said she finds drugs in her moms purse all the time and the kids at school all know her parents are partiers. By that time my mom had lost her business and home, she moved out of state. So even if you lose something to a fire, or to bankruptcy, the one thing you cant insure or replace is the loved ones you built it all for.
I believe sometimes loss is so great one can never fully recover. You seem to mourn the loss, but also are too proud to really ask for the help. You accept the help graciously, but dont be afraid to refuse what you dont need, and ask for what you do need instead. People will offer what they can spare, so dont feel like a burden. You will get through, the worst is behind you already.
2006-08-22 05:44:23 · answer #2 · answered by Jacque w 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You may never really fully recover the lost of those things you've
held dear. I don't think I would recover. It all but kills me whenever
I move from 1 location to another & something just get broken
or lost. I apologize for sounding so trite, but I only want to show
you I can relate to lost. Given your lost is more monumental.
I think it's like with a death in the family. It hurts terribly at first,
& with time you learn to accept it.
I hope you will recover & build new & improved memories.
2006-08-22 06:15:06 · answer #3 · answered by anitababy.brainwash 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear this. It will take time. But it's a huge thing to go through. Ypu may never heal all of the way, but at least you guys made it out alive. Now you can start making new memories. Ask people for photos that you may have lost. In creating your new memories, you can revisit the old ones.
2006-08-22 05:07:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will take a long while because you and your children did lose important parts of your lives. As long as help is coming in you and your children will begin to recover once you are re-established in a new home. While you can't replace the things you lost, you can find new things to cherish. God Bless you and take care.
2006-08-22 05:05:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't say, their have been so many stories of losses the past few years that I could never fatham the reality. 60 years ago the movie Grapes of Wrath showed us how America was coming out of the depression. It was a movie that drove nails into my soul to see the devastation of drought and joblessness with family struggle. I hope you can come out of it with your head up, cause their is so much to be greatful for.
2006-08-22 05:05:41 · answer #6 · answered by JOHNNY D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don' know... My family lost one house to a fire at christmas and it took us 2 years to start getting over it, then we lost that one as well to another fire. It has been 6 years and my family still isn't over it. They are living in a tiny one room shack and had to send me away so I could have a better life. I send them money when I have some to spare.
My prayers go out to you and your lovely children.
2006-08-22 05:07:23 · answer #7 · answered by Mistress Sakura 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't answer this but after all it is only material things you lost, You should try concentrating on counting your blessings. You have 3 beautiful children, what else do you need ?
2006-08-22 09:39:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That will take quite a while...do you have any access to a mental health practitioner? It is nothing to be ashamed of...they can also give you good ideas to cope yourself & help the children cope.
2006-08-22 05:03:33 · answer #9 · answered by fairly smart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to hear that...
It all depends on each person's EQ, someone can recover quick, some takes longer time
2006-08-22 05:02:43 · answer #10 · answered by YourDreamDoc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋