Family mediation wrote four letters to him asking him to see our daughter - they even offered a drop off point so we didn't have any contact - he responded to them saying it was in the hands of his solicitors but 18 months later I still haven't heard anything. He tells people that I've stopped him seeing his daughter and that I've poisoned her mind (hello she's only 4 and this would hurt her not him). What's a girl to do?
2006-08-22 04:18:19 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have been there too.Do not let it eat you up.My sons dad did that.Then later he wanted to come back into the picture.He is 18 now and he knows who was there for him and who was not.Good luck!
2006-08-22 04:33:35 · answer #1 · answered by iluvsunsets 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sons x took his daughter to Arizona to live in June. He's absolutely brokenhearted so I can't imagine a parent not wanting to b in their childs life when they live close. Little girls soooo need their dad's in their life, as girls the men we chose later in life resemble our father. All you can do is to continue to offer him to see her, and ignore the fact he's lying to others to make him look like the wounded party. Also, don't say bad things about him either. If he never comes around as long as she lives, that burden will be on him not you, and she'll be able to say mom never said anything bad about you dad. So that will put the burden on him not you. What to tell her? My son would say don;'t lie to her, daddy doesn';t want to see you right now, but he loves you. I dont know she's so young, maybe a softer version? Good luck my friend!!! But no, don't give up. Why doesn't he want to see her anyway?? What a dope!!
2006-08-22 04:42:49 · answer #2 · answered by bsnana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter's father refuses to see her, too. She has seen him only once in her life when she was 16 months old (we split before she was born). He has denied her since the day she was born- she is now 13. I have a wonderful husband who takes care of her better than her sperm donor ever thought of. My daughter knows about her father, knows of the nasty letters he has sent to me and knows that he denies her even though paternity tests proved otherwise.
Good for you for not poisoning him to her, you are right, it would hurt her more than him. Making excuses for why he isn't seeing her only lasts so long, though. For right now, tell your daughter her daddy is busy. Later, (when she gets older) if he still refuses to see her, you will have to tell her the truth.
Good luck to you.
2006-08-22 04:34:51 · answer #3 · answered by proud mom of 2 girls 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he just doesn't want to have a relationship with her and is putting the blame on you. I used to tell my boys their father had to work so he couldn't see them. They understood the concept of having to work so they didn't think it was because he had more fun partying then being a father, which was the truth. Don't talk bad about him around the kids. They take things very personal even when their young.
2006-08-22 04:31:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have spent the last 12 years , sending me ex an update of adress and telephone # every time I move. it is not that I expect him to make contact,but I keep the proof. when she is older and ask I can honestly show her that I made attempts, so she won't harbour resentments against me. What those men do by not seeing them is there loss, and at her young age she is mor resiliant then you would think. it would be much harder if she were older.
2006-08-22 16:28:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your daughter that her father is abroad.
When she is old enough she can try to make contact herself, although I wouldn't hold out to much hope.
Your ex sound like he's holding a grudge and trying to get back at you through your daughter.
Sounds like the sort of man that's best out of both your lives.
2006-08-22 17:12:52 · answer #6 · answered by CeeVee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write to him yourself, in plain wording, that as there has been no reply to the mediation attempts, his daughter has not seen him and is asking for him.
Children of that age do not discriminate, but as they age they do see the truth.
2006-08-22 06:53:13 · answer #7 · answered by Amanda K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her something like daddy is working or something. Eventually, maybe he will grow up and want to see her. You are right not to poison her against her father. Good luck.
2006-08-22 04:25:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree...keep trying for the sake of your daughter. At least you'll know that you did the most that you could. And just tell her daddy's working. That's a shame that he can't get it together for her.
2006-08-22 04:38:50 · answer #9 · answered by I'm just me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think of the child. Its important that she sees her father and maintains contact. You need to keep on trying for her sake.
2006-08-22 04:28:05 · answer #10 · answered by paul1953uk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋