I've known him for 16yrs and he is the only person i ever loved. I got a divorce this year after a year of marriage and he got married last year. He doesnt love his wife and his family hate her, they love me. We spent a week together and its like we never broke up everytime we see each other. I know hes my soul mate and he thinks the same. We live in different states because of Katrina but i know its meant for us to be together. I gave him til December to get a divorce. My sister and my coworker said im a homewrecker and i shouldnt make him get a divorce because i got married first. I just got married because i was pressured into it by family members and i never loved the person i married. He had a girlfriend when i was engaged and thats who he married. He dont love her and they dont get alone. Do you think im wrong for wanting him back and should i believe him when he say hes getting a divorce? I cant do anything but thing about him. I truly love him and he loves me.
2006-08-22 04:15:45 · 12 answers · asked by justbeautiful4u 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok i did leave a little bit of history out. He was the person that said he wanted to be with me and that he was unhappy in his marriage. i just told him if this is true he have til december to call it off. hes also the one that sleeps at his grandfather to stay away from her and sleeps on the sofa when hes at home. I got a divorce not for him but for myself i was living a lie because i though i could fall in love with my husband but i never did. i love him and i just cant help it.
2006-08-22 04:47:10 · update #1
I just got a divorce a month ago and i spent time with him last week so all this is new
2006-08-22 05:11:10 · update #2
If you truly love him and he loves you, love will find a way to bring you both back together.
Now, if he truly want a divorce, he will get one but consider it might not be in your time frame so you will have to be patient or face the fact he might not never get one.
This is why it is very important for married folks to not involve third parties in their marital problems and worse, don't marry someone you truly don't love.
You can stay single if that's the case. Obviously, many take marriage as a joke when it should be treated as a very serious decision in life.
This is why you now have two people who claim they want only each other ending up with others you do the math on this one.
Some will stay in a dysfunctional marriage as long as they can have their fling on the side and on the side such person will remain because they will sit and hope for a fairy tale ending that only happens in the land of make believe.
It's not wrong for wanting him back that is human nature to feel and want someone you have had a personal relationship with.
As far as believing him, I say trust him until you see things that shows he isn't doing anything to support that he is trying to get a divorce to be with you.
Lesson learned don't get involve with a married man or woman wait until they get their divorce so you will know they already have one before you involve your heart and soul in their marital mess.
From the looks of it, you give the impression he can have you so I say why by the cow when you can get the milk for free.
2006-08-22 04:39:35 · answer #1 · answered by words from the heart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage should happen ONLY because two people enjoy eachother's company so much that they want to live together - and for NO other reason! Yet there are all sorts of social pressures "out there" pushing people into bad marriages. The mass media is one of the WORST offenders. A hundred times a day, we are bombarded with the message that if our teeth aren't white enough, if our hair is showing too much gray, if we don't use the right brand of deodorant, if we are not fashion-model perfect, then no one can ever love us. The reverse side of this ugly coin is that it is also - albeit more subtly - telling us that WE, ourselves, should not give a second look to anyone ELSE who fits into such a flawed category. In short, we, ourselves, are only eligible for love if we are cosmetically perfect - and then only with a partner who is also cosmetically perfect! (I won't even get started on how destructive to a relationship the lyrics of popular songs can be - yes, even those that SEEM romantic on the surface!) Your friend definitely did the right thing by getting out of that marriage! Anyone can make a mistake, but NO ONE should EVER be prevented from correcting their mistakes! Staying in and suffering through a bad relationship should NEVER be an option. A good relationship is SO good that NO ONE should EVER have to endure a bad one!
2016-03-27 01:07:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa...Pump yo brakes for a second,....No one can make you do something that you don't want to do......If your boy is saying he's going to get a divorce and hasn't gotten one yet....there is a good chance that will not happen.....Sometimes "SOUL MATES" are just that....two people who would be perfect for each other but could never get it right. I think you are being extremely selfish by giving him an ultimatum.....and he is not being fair to his wife by still seeing you on the side, soul mates or not if he leaves his wife for you, imagine it can happen to you also one day. If you wanted him so much you would have never married the other guy and he would have never married his current wife. I think you are feeling sorry for yourself and feels like he is the answer to you sorrow's right now....You should really be trying to work on yourself instead of trying to force your hand....Remember, be careful what you ask for because when you get it, its never what you wanted.........Sometimes wanting something is better than actually possessing it...that includes things and people!!!! Let nature take its course, if its meant to be it will happen:)
2006-08-22 05:04:30 · answer #3 · answered by PLAYA 4REAL 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have managed to make a real mess of things, haven't you? You really shouldn't ask him to leave his wife for you. It's selfish and unfair. If he decides on his own to end his marriage, that's his and his wife's decision. After that, if you two get together, at least it would be without your having caused it. It sounds like you have already gone after him and damaged his marriage, however. How would you feel if he married you, and then someone else did this to your relationship with him? Not so great, I'd guess.
2006-08-22 04:29:56 · answer #4 · answered by homebuyer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he truly loved you then he would have proposed before your first husband. if he cared at all then he would have proposed the moment he knew that you had another proposal from another man...bottom line he would have put up a fight to get you the first time. he would have done what any man does to get the woman he wants. BUT he didn't. he went off and got married himself which means..he's not the one. then again my friend we don't know the details so you're asking all the wrong people and everyone has an opinion. so just wait for the truth because we don't have it...it's all fate.
2006-08-22 07:00:06 · answer #5 · answered by mimi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will never divorce her and you are a fool for getting a divorce yourself with the false promise that he would too.
You fall for the oldest trick onteh book, now he will be going on with his wife and you will be "on the side" waiting in vane because you still believe that "soul mate" BS. You are a fool and youa re wasting time.
You have NO right to demand for him to get a divorce, soon he will start avoiding you because you have become too needy for comfort.
Good luck
2006-08-22 04:29:44 · answer #6 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its all in your head....nothing has developed into anything lasting between the two of you what makes you think it could now..when he is married...and how committed can you become if you marry and say it wasn't out of love...if someone can talk you into that then I wouldn't want a wife like that...you need a life of your own .
2006-08-22 04:26:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry. I know it's a tough situation and it has to be breaking your heart, and I do believe that he loves you, that he might even be your soul mate but it's a known fact that married men who cheat very rarely ever leave their wives. Men tend to feel a stronger sense of responsibility. Be kind to yourself and live your life for you and no one else.
Sorry hon...tried responding to the email you sent, but it won't go through, something about it being your address not being confirmed. Email your address if you'd like to talk. I don't want to leave mine here, for obvious reasons.
2006-08-22 04:29:49 · answer #8 · answered by I'm just me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to let him make the decision. He knows how you feel so let him decide. You should not put pressure on him.
Marriage is a serious matter between people. Both your friend and his wife should be allowed to decide their future without your interference. Back off.
2006-08-22 04:31:57 · answer #9 · answered by paul1953uk 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he wanted to divorce his wife....he would have filed by now. You may be a bit delusional. He is having his cake and ice cream....why should he give up either?
2006-08-22 04:42:23 · answer #10 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋