Is my wife looking for someone?

Question

I do not like to go to bars or discos at all. My wife does. A year ago she started going out with two gir friends. They sometimes go out one or twice a week. My wife gets home between 1 and 3 AM.

I found a couple of text messages in her mobile. They came from a guy asking how her day went and the other one asking how was her trip to the cabin. I called back that number but I hung up. Later that night that person called back around 1am twice. I picked up both calls but he hung up. I did not say anything to her. Yesterday we had a discussion and she told me that he had given her # to someone on her way out of a bar. She told me that her two friends were walking faster and this guy at the entrance put a lot of pressure to get his number. She even told me that this guy dialed her # to make sure he had gotten the right #. I just can not accept that someone married gives her # to a stranger. I can not buy that. Do normal married women do that?
I do not trust her anymore.

Answer 1

married women don't usually do that, on the other hand, when they are lacking something from their husbands and have verbalized them over and over and still don't get it, then yes they will cheat. 65% of married women cheat or think about cheating.. What I would suggest is communicating the things that brought you together to begin with.. It may be the drinking at the bars she thought would get your attention, but, she's reaching for an outside source to get what you lack.. don't get mad at her all of the sudden. It may be her, but usually it starts within your relationship. Someone is giving her the attention she needs from you.. ggood luck

Answer 2

You're right not to trust her, sad to say.

I went through this very same thing with an Ex live-in girlfriend (note the "Ex:").

Soon, 1AM will become 3AM and 3AM will become sunup, at which point you'll be treated to something like "After last call we all went to so-no-so's for another drink, that's all!" Or maybe you've heard that one already.

I know all about the mystery phone calls, the "he's just a friend of a girlfriend of mine" and all the other nonsense.

If she's hot, like mine was, it's inevitable. A lot of women like that are used to the attention and are addicted to it. But she's supposed to be your wife., not a popular fixture of the local club scene.

Know what I did? One night, when I awoke at 4AM still alone, I locked the door. By around 6AM, she had made such a fuss outside trying to get in the cops came. They charged her with public disturbance, I got a restraining order and the rest is history.

As you're married, things might not be so simple. But I'd keep my pride before I kept her.

And maybe when she understands how serious you are, how hurt you are,. She'll ask for one more chance.

Hell, my girl did.

Three times.

Answer 3

This is the kind of thing that ruins all the 'good men' for the rest of us. I can't say what she's doing because i dont know her personality. But what I do know and can say is that in my opinion I think she's lying.
Because i only give my number to people that i actually wanna chat with. Its unlisted in fact so that i can avoid needless phone calls that interrupt dinner. The only time that i do give my number out is to someone that i know really well. Or wanna know better.

I mean think about who you'd give your number too.

Basically its on my job applications, my parents have it....friends from high school, one ex that never calls but like once a year anyways...and a friend i've been plas with since diaper days.
So other then that i dont even think mosta my family has my number. And thats just coming from another woman.

But like i said i dont know how she thinks.

I do know that most, respectable women don't just hand out their number to random guys in bars.
You might try asking if you could come with her one night. Then you'd know. If she denys it then she's likely hiding something.
Sorry to be the messanger of bad news.
But if i had some guy waiting on me at home I seriously doubt i'd be giving my number out to anyone besides business related stuff.
I mean whats the point in that?

My friends have my number.

Answer 4

Sit your wife down and have a VERY serious talk. Find out what's going on. Somewhere something in the marriage has broken down. There could be 50 different reasons for her behavior. But a woman committed to her marriage & her husband would not be behaving in the manner your wife is behaving.

And most women will take a man's number but will not give their's out; such a dangerous practice. And more so for a married woman. She is playing with fire, but I think you're the one about to get burned.

Answer 5

Something definitely rotten my friend. More than likely if you *think* something fishy, it probably is.

I don't know what the best thing to do is.....probably talk to her and get her take on things, but chances are she will try and BS you. Women do this kind of thing at least as much as guys do. It's unfortunate that either does it, but they do.

Anyway, aside from GENTLY confronting her about it, about all you can do is wait and watch, and then try marriage counseling, or an attorney.

I don't understand why people can't just be open and honest with each other.

Good luck to you. I've been there.....I know *exactly* how you feel.

Answer 6

Sweetie, I'm sorry to say but no, normal married women don't do that. In fact, when they get really pushy like that we tend to get irate and go, "Look bozo, I'm married, back the f*&^ off." A happily married woman tells anyone who approaches very politely that we're not interested. Now, people are different. Some people just like the atmosphere of a bar, but I personally wouldn't go to one unless I were there looking for something, at least a little fun. But honestly, your wife's excuse sounds like just that--an excuse to cover up the fact that she got caught. I say if you want the truth, talk to her, but it do calmly. Make it safe for her to open to you and you might get out of her what really happened. And I only say that because if you corner her and get upset with her (which you'd have every right to do, mind you), she'll most likely clam up tight.

Good luck. I'm sorry you had to find out like that. That can't be easy.

Answer 7

Well, tell her to have him stop calling no more and tell her to tell her friends that at the bar no contact but can do things together but not or no near the bar anymore....

Tell her that You have alot of trust in her and Now I found out that what you did.... you should told your friend that I not going to do that and I am married andshe should of told him too. plain and simple but see what happen.

me when ever I talk to women someplace work, internet, mail, or whatever it is and I always tells my wife who they are.... just in case women one day want me and I don't want her and she will go to my wife and make up all the stories she want to tell. But my wife tells her I already know and he told me before you did. My husband really respect me and love me alot. and I always tell her before anyone tells her.. that is a strong trust. That how my marriage almost 9 years in oct 06 smiling.

hope this helps.

Answer 8

No that's not normal. #1 - If I were to go to a bar or club you bet my fiance would be with me. #2 - I would never ever give my number to another guy. #3 - I wouldn't even give another guy the time of day - that is just wrong.
You have every right to not trust her.

Answer 9

This must really hurt, but life will go on.
She is being dishonest about something here. I wouldn't go so far as to say that she's already cheated, but it's very possible. If I were you I'd seriously consider hiring a private investigator. It would be expensive, but you would get your answer, and good evidence for the ensuing divorce process.

She is acting very abnormally.

Answer 10

Normal married women do NOT do that. She is either thinking about cheating, currently cheating, or a professional cheater. Either way, you are forked. You need to address the issue head on a do something about it. Marriage is all about love and trust, once that breaks down you have nothing.