Whenever I get into an argument with, pretty much anyone, I feel like it's unfair. I am always the one who tries to understand the other persons side, and the other side never bothers to understand how I'm feeling about the situation. I'll give you an example. Whenever something is their fault, they somehow manage to turn it around and make me feel bad about being upset. Recently my friends backstabbed me and one of my other friends told me about it. I told her how upsetting it was to know how they really felt about me, and she was justifying their doing so, and taking their side. It was like, I had to understand that they had every reason to do so, and they didin't even acknowledge that what they did hurt me. How can I take control of situations like this?
2006-08-22 03:59:42 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Other - Social Science
Such is the plight of the "peacemaker". You're the understanding one who tries to give others the benefit of doubt as opposed to condemning them and many times you feel slighted in the process. You may find that you put the feelings of others before your own and when you do try to state your case you want to feel justified by others. You seek approval from others and are hurt when you don't receive it. I have walked more than a mile in your shoes but eventually you like me have to shed those moccasins and get you some warm, durable hiking boots because life is an uphill struggle at times. Toughen up your exterior and believe in yourself. If you know that what you are stating is right, state it and be through with it. You don't have to convince others to feel the same way that you do. Just do you! Be yourself. Distance yourself from those who betray you and then try to flip it back on you. Being in their midst will prevent you from acquiring peace of mind. Believe yourself worthy of being treated with respect and settle for NOTHING less. You may be labeled "hard" or even a "b*tch" but screw the labels. Life isn't fair but we have to live so we must do what we need to do to survive. Don't drown in self pity. Stand up and be heard and if someone doesn't like what you have to say, they can kiss your butt! Be fair, objective, respectful and most of all be true to yourself. Everything will be okay. Good luck!
2006-08-22 04:35:28 · answer #1 · answered by intentionalmasterpiece 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know your situation but I always say you have to be a friend to get a friend. It usually seems that friends relationships if there are three or more girls involved one gets stabbed in the back. Also, don't let them know things get to you so bad because if they know they will most likely keep doing it just to upset you. Some people get a kick out of seeing other peoples misery. Good luck and I suggest looking for a true friend that has your back.
2006-08-22 11:15:25 · answer #2 · answered by Just wondering 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's a drag to be the nice one. It's frustrating when people 'project' on to you, THEIR faults and hang-ups. That is called projecting.
It's also a drag when someone WILL NOT hear what you are saying, w/o interrupting or losing their temper the whole time.
REAL people are hard to come by.
Stay real.
2006-08-22 11:13:38 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to understand the definition of a "friend". When intelligent people disagree and they come to an impasse they "agree to disagree" and go on from there. If this is how your friends act towards you......clean house.
2006-08-22 11:31:47 · answer #4 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could start by enrolling for an assertiveness course. Goldstein courses are very good - although they are called social skills courses they are really assertiveness courses.
If you could spare the money that may be a good start.
2006-08-22 11:11:52 · answer #5 · answered by veronica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you should pick some new friends instead of mean girls real friends dont talk about you behind ur back
2006-08-22 11:09:00 · answer #6 · answered by urlvergrl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
people suck... get a dog!!! or just don't let people walk on you, stand up for you rights and tell them how you feel. if they don't care, why should you??? stay strong and good luck!!!
2006-08-22 11:07:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
very time something bad happens to me
2006-08-22 13:26:06 · answer #8 · answered by !i!i!i!FaRnAzA!i!i!i!i 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not fair that I haven;t eaten today but thats life
2006-08-22 11:08:45 · answer #9 · answered by billyandgaby 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
since when was life fair?
2006-08-22 11:09:38 · answer #10 · answered by Jeff Zhang (J-Z) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋