and had several partners. since then, i have changed my ways and settled down. i think my old ways may have created a sex addiction however. i feel uneasy when I am around pretty girls and I feel like i am constantly craving sex with women. i feel like i am a crack addict. i am scared i am going to do something to destroy my marriage. is there any other way to fix this problem other than professional help? im not sure how my wife would react if i told her this.
2006-08-22 03:51:18 · 18 answers · asked by mark s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Good for you, most men that I know thinks its okay to slip every now and then, its normal. Did your wife have many partners before you? My hubby had many more "encounters" than me, and he looks, but does not touch!!! But if you are afraid of it going farther than a look, PLEASE, tell your wife, you never now, she might understand, lets face it she gotta love ya, she married you. Be honest and tell her you haven't done anything but your scared, you can work on this together! I would rather my man tell me he is missing the old days, than find out he is re-living them. Its nice to know there are still honest men out there, regardless of what I have heard!
Good luck to you and your wife!
2006-08-25 21:47:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do NOT tell your wife. It will make her worry needlessly. It's like telling her after you've ended it and decided to work on your marriage that you've had an affair--just not a smart idea. But my thoughts? It almost sounds to me that after having so much freedom you're starting to panic, starting to wonder if you made the right choice, somewhere deep down. It's okay to look, BTW, just don't get caught doing it. ;) Seriously though, you can look. Hell, it's okay to fantasize about it. But yeah, if you're really worried about it, go talk to a professional, if only to make yourself feel better.
But you should know that the fact that you're so aware of it and scared of it drastically reduces the likelihood that you'll actually do it. Denial is the first sign of addiction right? So the opposite is also true--acknowledgement is the first step towards getting healthy. Not that I really think you're addicted. I think it's just panic, which is very normal, actually, for a person like you. For anybody really.
Good luck to you. You wife's a lucky woman to have such a stand-up guy--and she knows it. :)
2006-08-22 11:06:39 · answer #2 · answered by I'm just me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question is if you are satisfied sexually with your wife? Maybe you should tell her that you would like to have sex more often and maybe try new things together? She may be not not even aware of your problem and if you approach her about it in a nice way, she will appreciate that you didn't just go and had sex with someone else before talking to her about it. you are a married couple, I think it's about a finding solution by both of you.
2006-08-22 11:02:33 · answer #3 · answered by violet b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how you can fix this problem without professional help. In any case you need to talk to your wife about this. Now you don't have to go into a lot of details. Just tell you are a type of person that likes to have sex often and take it from there.
2006-08-22 11:03:09 · answer #4 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm, well here is the thing i was the same way before i met my husband and i thought that was going to die if i didn't get a lot of sex but luckily i was able to explain to him before we even got involved that my sex drive is out of control and that i wanted it a lot he understood that and i told him about my past that way there was no misunderstanding BUT that was before we took our vows, as a married woman i would never ever cheat, there is so much you put into your marriage and the life you have chosen that there is no point in ruining it for a one night stand, and if you can't talk to your wife about it than how will she know what you are feeling, the only thing woman respect more than a good husband is a honest one. Simply talk to her, try new things to turn her on to lead to sex.... but don't cheat.
2006-08-22 10:58:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have fallen victim to the curse of marriage.
The curse is that you desire to have sex with all women because "morally" you are not allowed to anymore.
"Sex addiction" is a load crap. An analysis paid for by the rich and famous to explain away their infidelities.
This analysis was created to deflect the true affliction of these people which is they are simply Morally corrupt.
Tell your wife, if she loves you as much as you hope she does, she will up the frequency of sex as well as the kink factor.
A man is only as good as his word.
Be a man and be true to you vows.
2006-08-22 11:23:10 · answer #6 · answered by Tyler Durdin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be careful. I got married virgin and my ex husband told me I was not satisfying him on bed. I improved to become the best lover he has ever had (he has said that himself) but I have never forgiven him for the humiliation and it has played a key role on the end of our marriage, even though the sex part turned out to go all the way to Heaven. So be careful on HOW you tell her things.
2006-08-22 11:04:45 · answer #7 · answered by Graça 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u have one of two choices
1) tell ur wife the truth and seek help. if she really loves u then she will support u . its better than
2) cheat on her
this is an addiction and u r going to give in without proffesional help. b4 u do some thing wrong tell her. u will be stronger with her support
2006-08-22 11:04:40 · answer #8 · answered by in ur face 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down with your wife and tell her. It will be very difficult at first, but trust me she will appreciate you for being honest and open with her. Then you two can work together on fixing your problem and you won't be all alone in having to go through any 'withdrawals'.
2006-08-22 11:02:37 · answer #9 · answered by RomanianQT 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to discuss this with your wife. Since you have not acted on your feelings, you shouldnt be in trouble. I am sure that she will appreciate your honesty. It is natural to have feelings for other people but you just dont want them to lead to actions.
Talk to your wife about it.
2006-08-22 11:26:05 · answer #10 · answered by chipmunk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋