My fiance is white, 37 & lives with his parents. I am 34 & east Indian. He travels alot for his job that's why he lives with them. He also helps them alot. They are in their 70's. He does work around the house, pay some bills, garden even bought a new car for them. They want him to buy the neighbors house that's up for sale. B 4 I met him he didn't always have a steady job. But now he has a great job & responsible. He had sex with his girl friend in high school. His parents knew about it. Now they got a problem with us hugging each other. We've fooled around when they are not around. We even went on a trip together 2 visit his bro's. All his bro's and sisters lived together b 4 marriage. They even helped on of them move in together. Now they didn't like the idea of us going on that trip. We are all catholics. We went to confession & will not fool around anymore. I at least want to hug or kiss him. My honey said not to worry we will work thinks out & I will not loose him.
2006-08-22 03:26:51 · 38 answers · asked by cluelesschickus 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I understand your point of view, i also think that his parents are over reacting. Don't take it to personally though i don't think it is you that they don't completely trust. I think that at their age they are very concerned about their religion. More than likely they are that strict because it is how they were brought up. But trust your fiance, and believe him when he tells you that you will get through it.
2006-08-22 03:38:05 · answer #1 · answered by Lelia 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People in their 70's have a different values system than those in their 30's, as they were born in the 1930's. Catholic or not, a man should be beyond the age of parental control by the age of 37, whether they cohabitate or not. The girl he had sex with IN HIGH SCHOOL was with him 20 years ago, and they still have not let this go? Are you willing to marry this man and stay under THEIR control until the day they die?
2006-08-22 03:38:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your fiance's parents are trying to influence him because he is the last child to raise and get it right. But golly, he is 37, so he should grow up and be a man. Don't let him buy the house right next door (if you 2 plan to live together there.) Your in-laws will always be dropping in when you are in the middle of doing it. You guys need your own space where you can build the relationship together and not have them breathe down your neck.
2006-08-22 03:36:59 · answer #3 · answered by ht_butterfly27 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't believe of it really is a sin, yet i am going to ensure some extremely "not ordinary middle" religious human beings questioning in the different case. certainly, it sounds extra like his mothers and fathers are extremely connected to him and they don't favor to "lose" him... he's helping them out and looks to be the in ordinary words one doing it. After he's gone, they'll be all on my own and they probably don't like that concept. i'd be a touch worried if I were you- exceptionally once you're married. you may locate them butting in plenty. i'd be careful of shopping for a house so close to to them, too. even with the undeniable fact that, this is purely my opinion from the little advice you've offered. i do not understand the entire tale and, so, will be off base the following. i'm purely affirming what I see.
2016-11-30 23:58:06 · answer #4 · answered by baltazar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No in my opinion it wasn't a sin but like everyone says if it's "their" house you have to play be their rules! Since your fiance lives with his parents he has no privacy other than his room or if he takes you away somewhere! I think if you guys are going to have a relationship then it's about time for him to move out! Right now he has the security of his parents to fall back on , and that's probably whats making him stay! I hope he's not thinking about the house next door? Too close for comfort , they would still be attached and in your business! He's 37 I think it's time to move out! You guys can decide if you want to live together or seperately, but I think it's time for a move!
2006-08-22 03:54:46 · answer #5 · answered by noditz57 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as he is living with his parents, he had to respect their wishes. Though they should unbend enough to allow you two to hold hands or hug in front of them. And remember he is 37 and you 34!
And make sure you do whatever you can to make his parents happy. Anyone that comes between a man/woman and his/her parents is asking for bad vibes the rest of their relationship. I'm sure that after having him there all these years taking care of them, his parents are terrified of him getting his own life and leaving them. They really need to deal with this. And DON"T buy the house next door. Your lives will NEVER be your own as long as his parents are alive, and they sound like tough old birds that will live another 10 years, at least.
2006-08-22 03:41:01 · answer #6 · answered by jiminycricket 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Basically it's like this. It's his parents house, you guys need to respect the rules they have created for their house.
Otherwise you can do whatever you want anywhere else. Cuddling is not a sin, neither is kissing. Just respect that his parents are older and from a different generation where that sort of thing was frowned upon. Just respect their feelings on the issue.
Good luck!
2006-08-22 03:35:59 · answer #7 · answered by **Shannen** 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Affection is not a sin. If you have guilt about the rest then don't do it. His parents have him around and even though he is older he is the last of what they have to hold onto and that is why they are making a big deal of it. He takes care of them and if he leaves with you then who will care for them? That is how their minds work deep down in the unconscious, whether or not they admit it.
So just know that.
And go with your heart if you feel something is wrong don't do it. Pray about it. (Don't know how catholics are) but I pray when I am needing guidance and I always get an answer.
2006-08-22 03:43:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is a sin, but if his parents have a problem with whats going on then just don't be affectionate in front of them. And also there is NO reason a 37 year old man should not have his own home.
2006-08-22 03:41:04 · answer #9 · answered by Jewells 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They don't like the idea of him getting cozy because he is their meal ticket, honey. And for sure, they are not excited about him moving out, and into a place with you. They would much prefer this one stays unmarried -- they need a caregiver in the years to come. If this is what you are prepared to do, okay. If not, any guy 37 who still lives with his parents, ANNNNNDDDDDDD under their rules is immature.
2006-08-22 03:35:52 · answer #10 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No snuggling is NOT a sin, sounds like his parents are just being up tight, I think ur great just for having the strong morals you already have, they should be lucky they're about to have a daughter in law that thinks its wrong to fool around before marraige! it will be ok, you dont need to go repenting for hugging ur fiance!!!
2006-08-22 03:37:56 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋