Do you think parents have a responsibility to NOT embarrass their children at school?

Question

I took my son to his first day of pre-k. There was one mother there who looked like she had just rolled out of bed and brought her child to school. She had a tank top on with no bra, some nasty little shorts on and her hair looked like it hadn't been washed in a week. I think parents owe it to thir children not to humiliate them. I mean kids are mean...I can only imagine what kids might have said to that child about the way his mother looked. She kept bending over and you could see her boobs! What is with people these days?! Anyway...that was last Thursday. Today I see the same woman, in the same tank top and shorts looking the same way!

And to you Carp......maybe I should have been a little more specific for people like you. I don't think poor can be used as her excuse considering the vehicle I saw her in this morning was a 2005 Envoy. I think her problem is what most of us call LAZINESS! You don't get a gold star in my book for rolling out of bed and dropping you kids off at school. That is a responsibility you have as a parent anyway, so you don't get extra points for that!

One more thing to those who keep saying, maybe she's poor, maybe that is all she has, etc.....although I addressed the poor issue already.....regardless of financial circumstances, it is not acceptable to allow your boobs to flop out of your shirt in front of a group if 4 year olds just because you CHOSE not to put a bra on!

Answer 1

Yes, I understand. How hard is it to take a 10 minute shower and put a bra on? Would it kill them? I mean, no one wants to see that (except perverts)... You're right, they should make it their responsibility to NOT embarass their children.

Answer 2

Have you by any chance considered the possibility that the clothes the mother was wearing, may be the only clothes she has??? How was the child dressed? Did the child look as though he/she is being looked after and loved?

I’m not trying to make excuses for the mother appearing the way she did, but at the same time, I don’t believe in criticising someone whose circumstances I am not fully aware of!!! Maybe she did just roll out of bed… perhaps she has to work late at night in order to fend for the child!!!… Perhaps the family is desperately poor!!! Perhaps the mother is an alcoholic!!! Unless you actually know the lady, then perhaps being judgemental toward her isn’t being very fair. She did, after all, bother to take her child to the school!!!

Perhaps the mother needs help… Perhaps all she needs is ‘a friend’… someone who will understand what she goes through, and who will perhaps lend a helping hand!!! Might you be that friend???

Answer 3

Worry about yourself(dress,appearance) and not others. You are strerotyping someone based on appearance. Did you ever consider that this women may:

Be poor
Depressed
Stressed
Have Anxiety
She did just roll out of bed from her busy life and brought her child to school(many parents don't) like a responsible parent.
The outfit you see her in is a preferred method of dress that she feels comfortable in.

or

She is a real person, secure in who she is and doesn't care about what you or anyone else thinks about her which is also a good example for her children.

I see no reason to get "made up" to drop your kid off at school or daycare.

Answer 4

Well, I don't know about that. According to children sometimes we embarrassed them by just being normal. Besides this woman kids are probably use to it by now. If you see her in the same outfit that might mean that she doesn't have any clothes or the things that you have to keep yourself up. Some people live terrible lives and don't have enough foresight to ask for help. This is what I would do, try to follow her home and that might tell you more about her. Obvious there is something more going on with this lady other than dressing trashy. I know when I go to the school and I see these young ladies with it all hanging out and I'm, trying to keep it all in. It's make you want to slap them.

Answer 5

You know I feel the same way. Why would u put your child though that. Like u said kids these days are very mean. And the poor child has to suffer because his lovely mother don't know how to dress in public.......

Answer 6

I know! It's discusting! On my son's first day of Kindergarden there was a hispanic chic dropping off her daughter, and this lady was cute, but she had on little pajama shorts, flip flops, and a tank top, hair all messy and in a bun. I guess she thought she looked cute, but she looked really messy and sloppy. I don't understand why people dress themselves like that OUT of the house!! In public! It's so gross. Looks like they didn't even brush their teeth.

Answer 7

My main concern would be how the child was. I believe that when someone looks at my child they can determine what kind of mother I am. The most important thing is that the child is clean and prepared to learn.

Answer 8

That woman is what you call trash. They don't care about their appearance at all and you not only see them at school, but everywhere else. I don't know why they want to look that way. She is probably a drug addict. That is what most drug addicts look like and they actually think they are hot. Who gave them that idea? I bet the child was dressed like a homeless child too.

Answer 9

Parents have some level of responsibility of dressing appropriate since they took on the role of parenthood.