My husband dropped her like a hot potato the moment I found out about their affair. Why?

Question

I was blissfully ignorant of this 5-year affair my husband had with his colleague. A long-time relationship like that ended immediately when I found out. How can he cruelly dropped her just like that and then says he is sorry to me? Begged me to put him back on the right track. Doesn't he love her enough to stick by his lover and whatever they had pledged amongst themselves?

Answer 1

NO, obviously it was just sex and he really loves you! Women don't understand that we men can bang away on somebody and really not feel anything other than our impending orgasm. We can completely detach feelings of lust and love. He loves you and wants to stay with you. He just wanted to f.u.c.k her. It's hard for most women to grasp because the dynamic is so different in how they feel about sexual realtions. Hope this helps and good luck.

Answer 2

Are you sure he has dropped her? That's the first question you need to ask youself.

The second is, if he has, then what was the affair about? It's possible that there were not strings and he had an agreement with her to end it once you found out. It seems doubtful because I don't think an affair with the same person for five years could be without strings or feelings. I also think that the excitement of just having an affair would have died out a long time ago.

You should ask him. Don't stop asking questions until you feel satisfied as to why this happened. Remember that it is perfectly ok to not believe him. He did lie to you for five years after all.

Think about whether this is a relationship you want to stay in. If he can lie to you about something so important for five years, then what else has he been lying about? If he can do this to you and to her, then what else is he capable of?

Humans are animals, that means just like a dog if they do something wrong, you can't forgive them immediately or let them get away with it, because they will think it's ok to do it again. If you decide to take him back, let him sweat for a while...give him something to think about so he'll never consider doing it again.

I'm really sorry this happened to you and I hope that it all works out for you.

Answer 3

First of all, I'm sorry that your husband was having an affair with another woman, but hey it could be worse it could've been with another man, lol. Its not a laughing matter, but I think the reason that your husband dropped his mistress when you found out about the relationship is because he's married to you. He must love you more or just be married to you for some other reason. I don't know why people are unfaithful to their spouses but I've never been and I hope that I never will be. Your husband married you and now he feels that he's obligated to you. I don't know why you feel bad for him dropping his mistress because he's YOUR husband, all I can say is that your more of a woman that I am. You must be a person that is really considerate of other people feelings. If your husband was a real man he would've approached you with the situation when he met the woman and decided that he wanted to have a relationship with her; he could've ask you for a seperation or divorce or he SHOULD'VE not even started the relationship with her to start with . If I were you I would drop HIM because if he was happy with you he would've never had an affair and it sounds like to me that you want him to be with her anyway. You two should probably get a separation to start with because I wouldn't get a divorce just yet. You should probably take some time to find out what action you want to take. Maybe YOU should start dating other people or you could forgive your husband and you two should TRY to start from scratch. But, if I were you I wouldn't give him another chance. I hope I could be of some help to you.

Answer 4

Ummmmmm wth.. u have to be the first wife i know that is rooting for the visiting team here.. u should be happy that he dropped her, especially if ur planning on keeping him... if u dont want him then let him go , he'll go running back to her.. Half of the excitement was u not knowing about it, and him having to lead this secret life.. and well u burst his bubble on that one.. plus im sure he does think he loves u , although people that really love each other dont cheat on each other, but i think its hillarious that ur sticking up for the mistress.. makes u wonder if u liked him being gone all the time, maybe u urself had someone on the side and now that he's not cheating he's up ur rear so much that u cant cheat anymore urself.. i dont know.. just think its amazing that ur worried about the mistress and if he loves her or not and how wrong he's treating her lol.. to funny

Answer 5

Why are you staying around? Why does it sound like you are feeling sorry for the woman that's been sleeping with your husband? Why do you care why he dropped her? He dropped her so you'd believe him when he told you he was sorry and so you'd ignorantly go about your business so he can pick up another woman. Five years is a long time. I'd put him on the right track all right, the one that leads right out the front door and down the street seeking a divorce

Answer 6

I think he still loves you. He probably felt he needed some action, some excitement. Then he started to feel really bad about the whole thing. So maybe he was feeling doubts the whole time the affair had been. All he wanted was an excuse to drop her and be with you and only you.

Give him another chance, but make him know your serious. Another affair and he's out the door.

Answer 7

The things about affairs is the excitement that you are doing something that is forbidden and secretive but once the secret is out you lose interest. As long as you didn't know, he was happy doing what he was doing and it probably had nothing to do with love. He was acting like a little boy that was doing something behind his moma's back and once caught they stop and move on to something else.

Answer 8

So, are there kids involved?

If not drop his a*s like a "Hot Potato" and move on. Find a good lawyer.

If you have had sex in the last 5 years you need to have your self screened for STD's .. My guess if he was capable of hiding it from you for 5 years, he's been banging other women as well. He's likely picked up something you'll both regret.

Answer 9

Part of the hotness was the secret. Once it was no longer a secret, it flamed out. He also clearly loves you or he wouldn't want to stay. Make him get tested for STDs and go to marriage counseling for at least a month. I have two co-workers who had an affair for three years. Their spouses found out, it stopped and now, for the past year, their marriages seem to be working.

Answer 10

Are you sure that he really ended up the relationship??? 5 years affair with his colleague and she dropped her like a hot potato eh??? Sounds like a soap opera to me. And girl, he's just being SELFISH!

Answer 11

Yes, he does, but it has to be undercover for right now because he don't intend to loose either one of you. He hasn't just cut her off, believe this from a female who was with an ex who cheated with females most of our 31 yrs together. My ex taught me all of the tricks needed to be outside of a marriage & your husband will teach you soon since he's gone for this long with you either giving him the benefit of doubt or just ignoring the signs. Now that you know he's going to make all types of effort to keep you off track making you think things will get back to where they were with you two, but this will be hard to do. You can make an attempt to do what's needed to fullfill your needs within your marriage, but you will have a difficult time of it so be prepared. Wish you luck.