Every time I'm in a relationship I seek for attention and if i don't get it I feel unloved and upset..?

Question

What can I do?..I know it's wrong but i can't help blaming my partner when it happens.I feel like i lose myself and respect in front of my boyfriend. Am I the only one to feel it?

Answer 1

The people who dont feel it, either have never been rejected or unloved in their life, or else they wont admit to it. It is a common feeling to blame another person for the way you are feeling. It is totally wrong however, and you have to start taking responsibility for your own feelings. To blame your partner for how you are feeling is a sign of low self esteem. You need to do something to increase your self esteem....you need to start feeling good about yourself. You need to stop valuing yourself by how others see you. I believe you feel this way because as a child/young adult you were put down a lot and never really shown you were worthy of praise.

You have to be good at something....find what that is and start excellling......people will soon be complimenting you, and little by little your confidence and self esteem will grow. It will eventually get to a point where you will feel equal to every one you meet. We were born equal....we will die equal....the only thing that sets us all apart is what we do in this life. How you view success may be different to how I view success. Life is a personal journey and no-one is better or worse than you. Maybe they might have more money and houses, but that doesnt make a person better than you....Start valuing yourself, start looking at all your good points, and stop dwelling on the negative. If you dont do something about it now, what kind of lesson will you be teaching your own children? The only lesson you will teach them is to never be responsible for themselves which de values them as a human being, and you are devaluing yourself by thinking that another person can be responsible for how you are feeling. Of course certain things happen in our life to make us sad/angry/hurt, but everyone will deal with it differently. Some people are stronger than others....and the strongest person will never blame another person for how they are feeling. You do have the power over your own life...you just havent used it yet. We are all masters of our own destiny.

Answer 2

Maybe you were spoiled at home and got alot of attention. If you can't find the attention in a relationship, maybe you ought to take a serious look at yourself. I am not sure how old you are, but in relationships we give and take. If you don't get the attention you think your getting it does not mean you are unloved. People have other things to do in life, like work, school, etc. So, don't get upset. That is silly. Get some self help books on relationships at the book store.

Answer 3

You really should go to counseling because their is something that went wrong somewhere in your life. Cause I have went through almost the same thing and it had to do with something I lacked when I was growing up. So therefore maybe you need to face whatever it is that you lacked so that you don't become so needy. Not for nothing you are making things hard on your boyfriend by being so needy. You have to come to terms with what the real problem is and put it in order before you push away your boyfriend. Once you come to terms with your problem you will have a better grip on life and how to be in a relationship. But most importantly love yourself and find what you are looking for within yourself first.

Answer 4

It seems like ur using a relationship as a band-aid for ur personal issues. Getting a man is not going to make u feel "loved", if u dont love urself babe. Take a break, and work on urself, seriously!! Read the book "Ten things women do to mess up there lives" BY: Laura Schlessinger, excellent read
Good luck hun

Answer 5

Did one of your parents leave home when you were young? If you answer yes, then you have found the answer to your question. You are trying to get the other person to prove their love to you. You subconciously blame yourself for the parent leaving because as a child you thought it was something you had done, and you have carried this guilt into adulthood. Once you realise this you can move on and you will change.

I wish you all the best

Answer 6

its cool, everyone wants love and attention, thats the whole point of being in a relationship. Just different people express love and give attention in different ways and on different levels. take time to think about all of the good things that your bf does for you and I'm sure you'll realise that you get a lot more attention than you often notice.

Answer 7

You sound like you have low self esteem and self worth, you need to be looking at yourself before getting into relationships. They will not fill the gaps you have in your own mind, I would suggest some private therapy to improve the way you feel about yourself, to get your confidence to grow and to give you a better valuation of your own being.

Answer 8

In answer to your question, you are lacking in self esteem, and are deeply insecure.
This stems from being devoid of love and attention at an early age, probably by your biological parents, and siblings

Dont worry many people are in your position, you have identified the problem, it means your half way to finding a solution.

For a further analysis please contact me

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Answer 9

How many relationships have you had before? Its not going to stay long if you dont stop, learn to love yourself before you can love someone, try start doing things that you really enjoy and been putting off, its very therapeutic its amazing what you'd discover about yourself

Answer 10

no you are not the only one. someone once told me you have to love yourself before someone can love u. if you love your self first and explore what your personal strengths are then you wont feel the need for attention and when you do that you get attention because people will se what usee in yourself.