we have got back together and i know hes the man i love and want to spend my life with. things are great but i feel like im slowy going mad and loosing my mind after this worst time and i dont know what to do. i cant get over being apart for this time and feel like i have let him and myself down for letting it get to this state. we love each other and things are much better now, better then ever because its all out in the open how we feel and our problems. but i cant accept the time he was without me and i keep thinking all sorts of things. im consumed with so many emotions that my head and heart are breaking. i just cry and keep going over all the things i could have done better or different. how can i get myself over these torturing feelings and thoughts?
2006-08-22 00:38:15 · 10 answers · asked by uklady26 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Out of curiosity, why did you break up in the first place? You don't say why, and this may be very important.
From what you're saying, you feel guilty, and as though you have failed in some way - again, you don't say what caused the initial break-up, so we can't really examine the reasons as you why you might be feeling the way you're feeling.
But in any case, I don't think you need to be so hard on yourself - you are trying to move on, and it takes considerable effort of leave the past behind and keep going. It also takes a lot of courage, because in order for the new start to work, you have to avoid slipping into old habits - who was it who said that it is sheer madness to expect a different result when you keep on doing the same thing?
You say you cry when you look over what you could have done better or differently - okay. So go and DO those things better or differently from now on! You can't change the past, but you can learn from it. So you made some mistakes - but who doesn't? Learn from these mistakes and move on. Stop regretting, start acting.
I wish you and your husband a happy new life together!
2006-08-22 01:05:45 · answer #1 · answered by Orla C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to focus on the future and forget the past.
The moving finger writes
And having writ moves on
Nor all thy piety nor wit
Can call it back
To cancel half a line
Nor all thy tears wash out
A word of it.
You have been given a remarkable second chance, stop feeling sorry for yourself and risking ruining the chance by worrying about things you cannot change. Those things are done - you can change their outcome by being the loving, supportive wife in the future. Start today. Go now and do one nice thing for your husband before he gets home from work then make it a promise to do one thing for him every day. Start with small steps looking forward and soon the past will be a dim and distant memory.
2006-08-22 03:49:35 · answer #2 · answered by Leapling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let's start by the fact that you are back together again. Please stop beating yourself up mentally wondering if I could have or if I would
have and focus on the fact again he has chosen to work on his marriage what if he had chose not to.
Be careful what you ask for you just might get with the wondering mind of yours.
Try to start a new way of being married and leave the past behind when you chose to get back together with him, you should have already done that.
Don't run your husband away with your insecurities your never going to know what you could have done differently so why continue to try to figure it out.
Just enjoy the moment and when you see you repeating some of your past mistakes, stop and think before you do to avoid what happen in the past.
2006-08-22 03:23:51 · answer #3 · answered by words from the heart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We r human, because we r prone to mistakesand error. We r great animal because we can reason and make amend. We can reverse situation and make the going better. We can reshape our life and make it worthwhile. We are great no because of our age, but because we are filled with experiences that are ups and down. Good and bad. Do not ever forget, we r all human striving at perfection that is just not possible.
To fight is normal, what is not so good is the way we fight. When we now fight bad, when we are calm we learn from that and fight no more in that manner. The greatest crime we can commit is not to letthe past go bye, To hold the past down. The past is no more than a lesson to shapen our tomorow.
You have regained a new opportunity, why notgrasp it and make it work better for you. Keep the past in your pandora box and let your man know things can return with morezealand vigour.
Please dont kill your tomorow with this thot of yesterday.
I have littletime, as i have to go formy prayer now.
Smile, what happened to you is normal and your next person is no more than a trial on you. Make him fell hard at making you fall on your trial,
Good luck
2006-08-22 03:56:15 · answer #4 · answered by mikail 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
owning him alot of things. U can never repay his love for you. Look love from him is a give for you. You should not feel guilty that u own him lot of stuff. What he have give u is for you. Wheather u trow it away or u keep it doesn't matter. If u feel like is worth going on with him u should love him and forget the past.Don't love him if u just wanna repaid him. is unfair for him. Try to think that is a fate to meet ur husband if u wanna give up. Remember sweet things in ur mind then move on with ur life.
2006-08-22 01:11:26 · answer #5 · answered by mike 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/WNph1
Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.
The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.
Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.
2016-04-27 22:15:10 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try not to focus on the past, and instead move forward into recreating the great relationship you had. Just reinvent it. Think positive, have faith and keep smiling - do your best for your husband and you should get the same in return. Best wishes!
2006-08-22 01:58:59 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on why you left him in the first place.
It could all go back to that same situation again and then you feel you have to leave him again.
But with out knowing why you left in the fist place it hard to give any advice.
2006-08-22 14:16:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's all good but you still don't trust him.
2006-08-22 02:18:09 · answer #9 · answered by cwallflower32 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you need to forget the past.You have to do it yourself nobody can help you with this*****************************
2006-08-25 23:25:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋