Wife & I got back together recently after she had had an affair. My family are not too happy about this. How can I convince them to give her another chance? I know they have my interests at heart, but this is meant to be a happy time for me, yet I can't stop worrying about my family's reaction.
2006-08-21 23:46:20 · 42 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if you love her well then the should be happy for you...just ignore them...they will eventually come round
2006-08-21 23:51:59 · answer #1 · answered by IrishLassie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's only natural that your family will be worried about you getting back with your wife after she had an affair. They love you and don't want to see you get hurt again.
We all make mistakes in our lives, but an affair in a marriage is always hard to get over,once the marriage bonds have been broken.
Are you really worried about their reaction or are you worried that you may have made a mistake having her back and that your family's doubts will be founded.
I don't know how long you were actually seperated as you don't say, but can you honestly sleep with your wife now knowing that she has had sexual intercourse with another man ?
Once the bonds of a marriage are broken,so is the trust,and sometimes no matter how hard you may try that little niggling doubt will always be there,as soon as she does something out of the normal routine, you will think she is at it again.
If you can truly overlook and forgive this affair,then you are one in a million,and I truly wish you the best of luck. But you must understand your relatives feelings about your wife's affair, and not blame them for the way they feel.Because they feel the same as me and most of the population.
Most people have affairs because there is something missing in their marriage,unless you have discussed why your wife felt the need to have an affair, and you can do something about the reason,she will stray again for the same reason she strayed before.
It's always so much easier to get back with the first wife afterall you know everything (or should know everything) about one another.
Men always find it more difficult to be on their own, and go back for the wrong reason. I could go on and on ,on this subject and my ex was a compulsive womanizer , I even divorced him and then re-married him 4 years later thinking he had changed and had his fling. NO, I ended up wasting another 6 years of my life trying to get divorced from him again,as he had'nt changed.
I'm sorry to say,that in my experience and many of my friends and relatives (once a cheat always a cheat).
2006-08-22 00:24:22 · answer #2 · answered by animalwatch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yikes.
You made a tough choice mate but good luck to you. On a resonal level, i would be the same as your family. Saying that, did you find out the reason for the affair? If it was some serious problem between yourselves that you have now resollved then understandable. If it came from 'nowhere' and have just forgiven her, the stats show, it will happen again.
2006-08-21 23:53:31 · answer #3 · answered by Chris O 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not much of a sugarcoater...because I think the true, no matter how harsh, must be told. You shouldn't have gotten back together with her. What guarantee do you have that she won't cheat on you again? For me, the trust would be broken as she disrespected herself and your relationship. I would've moved on right then and there, having no other real choice. Your family is right to be mad - your wife betrayed you. Listen to your family and do the right and only thing - get a divorce.
2006-08-22 00:02:29 · answer #4 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is be careful with your HEART....Once a cheater always a cheater....giving your wife a second chance....when you know your family was there to pick up the pieces and help console you over the last incident.
Be careful.....I wouldn't rush into a relationship with your wife. She's probably using you once again because the man she had a relationship with cut her loose....she's on the rebound recoil game again.
2006-08-22 00:23:39 · answer #5 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be getting together with her because you love her and feel that you can make the marriage work. If your family's approval is such a big issue to you, my guess is that you are not ready to get back together with your wife..let it go!!! The family will accept her if they see that you feel strongly about making the marriage work. If you display any insecurity about it, they will exploit it and you and your wife will eventually break up. Decide who's important in your life and stick with that....
2006-08-24 09:56:39 · answer #6 · answered by divaA 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your feelings could just be a flash in the pan and you family might be right it take some one out side a relationship to see the cracks.
You really need to sit down and talk to her and find out why she had this affair in the first place.
2006-08-22 14:21:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I expect they think that if she has done it once then she might do it again and they don't want you to get hurt again. The only option you have is to give it time. Possibly, after a long time has passed, and they see you both happy together they will forgive her. But just remember that blood is thicker than water and it is not going to happen over night.
2006-08-22 04:15:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you and your wife are happy with getting back together and if you trust her then just ignore the family
if you need her in your life, then the family will just have to accept it - sooner or later.
dont worry about your family's reaction. dont be harsh to them, but just tell them to calm down and give her a chance.
they may be right but you need to find out ! i hope they are wrong !
2006-08-21 23:52:21 · answer #9 · answered by GorGeous_Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So she is ignorant approximately Turkey cooking time, and you AR%$E AN OGRE! you're completely in the incorrect., and characteristic severe anger administration subjects,. Get perfect a psychiatrist and Take some mentalests. you're tttotallyn the wowrongnd are memeannd merciless.
2016-10-02 09:45:28 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm about to try and patch my marriage up after my husband had a fling, and I've told my dad that I want no bad feelings and he said, ok, if that's what I want. If any members of my family give my hubby a hard time, they will get short shrift from me, I'm not about to let them mess up my chances of rebuilding our marriage. If they don't get the message, then I take the hard line- accept that I've forgiven him, or be out of my life. Marriage comes before family, make it clear from the start.
2006-08-22 03:05:51 · answer #11 · answered by good tree 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋