Why can't adults understand that teens have feelings/needs too?

Question

I mean,(some)teens need to have a boyfriend/girlfriend !Isnt that the nature?And there r some parents that prohibit their children to have a relationship..!wot do u think?

they dont prohibit me,i just know what most parents think!

Answer 1

"Hello paradaughter, There's no doubt that teens have feelings and needs like others do. Please consider separating feelings from needs and taking a closer look at what they mean.
During my teen years I had so many feelings emerge that I found it difficult to maintain stability in my public and private life. Most of my feelings were about relationships. I didn't share feelings much with my family ... I wish I had. Being a teen those days was tough for me so I can understand some of what your going through. Try to listen to your Dad and Mom. More importantly, take the opportunity to utilize their experiences by telling them as much as you can about your feelings. The only real needs you have are getting along with your parents better, food, lodging and transportation to and from school.
As a teen, still under the care of your parents, you need evaluate and separate your emotions (feelings and wants, relationships) from your needs (food, lodging, homework, getting along with parents, peer groups and teachers). Rain in your feelings and concentrate on your needs. Feelings change all the time and after all, your parents have plenty of feelings. If you ask your questions right they will give you more knowledge about feelings and needs than you can digest. Your parents have been through their teens and know well many of the pitfalls you are, only now, experiencing. Give them the chance to grow closer to you. You will soon be an adult and may be away from the good advice they can offer. You can't rely on strangers. Of course, if you feel that your parents are unreasonable, make sure to "think" your way around confrontations. Your experiencing your "feelings" about your parents and omitting your "needs" for them. Your parents can sometimes seem to cause bad "feelings." Your honest feedback will tend to "solve" many of your feelings problems if you apply it earnestly.
Actually, I think your closer to solving all your problems than you have let-on. At least, you use pretty good grammer and punctuation to let us know what you mean. Remember to write perfectly as humanly possible. Take the time to form proper grammer, spelling and punctuation. Why? It shows me that you care enough about me and others, to make certain we can get an exact meaning out of each word you use to describe your delimma.
Don't give up, work your way through all the differences and ambiguities and see truth."

Answer 2

If it is not your parents that are prohibiting you from having a relationship then it must be his.

Relationships are hard enough to conquer when you're older, especially when as a teenager you had over protective parents.

Being a teenager is difficult these days, you not only have peer pressure but children now are reaching out to one another for a Love and Trust that apparently they lack at home.

I think adults do understand, and with the changing times we live in today, we realize how fast time goes by, and do not want our children to have the same regrets we may have had. Your Feelings and Needs are our concern, but your Wants are different.

Relax and enjoy your years. Friendships that turn into Relationships are the best.

Answer 3

Being a parent - a responsible one - makes you see things from a very different perspective. Teens often don't understand that until they become parents.
Being a parent makes you protective. The most important thing in life is your child's health and safety. Your efforts focus on that, you start worrying much, much more than before, you see dangers that yesterday didn't mean anything to you, and you tend, sometimes, to be overprotective.
Try to understand the reasons of your parents not letting you have a boyfriend, don't think they just don't understand you. Your parents want the best for you. If they don't initiate discussions on this topic, you can be the one to invite them to an open talk.
Don't be afraid of asking for explanations, but be ready to express yourself too, and not only regarding your needs, but your feelings, your reasons, your perspective of life also.
You might find out your parents are not so inflexible after all, and that you have a true friendship relation with them.
Don't forget your parents have been at your age too, so they must know what you are going through. They might not know how to approach you, but that's something you can help them with.

Answer 4

Not all teens are able to handle a relationship if it moves into something physical. So parents try to keep kids from being hurt or ruining their life through a possible pregnancy. But children will seek affection and relationship regardless of what their parents say. So if I had teenagers I would "forbid" them to have boy/girlfriends, but I'd emphasize the need to protect themselves and be responsible with birth control (even if I had to take them to get birth control). I'd rather for them to be honest and not ashamed of what is natural in life.

Answer 5

Your question is "why do adults not understand teens feelings"
Of course they do, but it all depends on your nature of behaviour.
This is a two way question and I would ask you, do you understand
your parents responsibility? There is only one solution - sit down
and talk it over calmly. Do not chose a day that you are feeling
edgy and be prepared to answer questions. Also, do not bring
the subject up when your parents had a bad day. It will work out.

Answer 6

l never had a girl friend when l was a teenager mainly because l was to shy. But my parents were very strict also. When l got older l had a very hard time finding a social life and learning to date was hard in my 20's because most girls wanted guy with experiance and l had none. l think having a boyfriend or girlfriend is important for teenagers l hope no-one has to go through what l had to go through.

Answer 7

Adults understand. They have all been there. It is hard for you to see that they were your age at one time. So that is why they prohibit you to have a relationship. They know things that you don't. You think that they are just being mean but they aren't.

Answer 8

look, they think that u r a baby till now, n that's a parent nature, they will always think that u r a baby even after u have ur own once...

they love u, n so they think that if they will let u lead ur own life then either u will ruin it or else u will have tears to live with.....they think that if any thing goes out of track then u will be depressed n then u will go away 4rm them.....

u will always think that u r right or else u have chosen the diamond out of the stones, but they will look at it as if it is a stone every time... n abv that why do u need a bf? u have ur parents n if u think that they r not the way u want then try to talk to them tell them abt ur feelings abt ur likes n dislikes, know them n let them know u, n if still u think that they don't love u then u have ur school friends with and beside u, have fun with them, hang out with them n talk to them.

even i used to think just like u but now i understand that my parents are so right abt not keeping a bf, coz i have been ditched though i choose a diamond out of stones for myself .....

an advice: if ur parents don't let u have a bf then don't go against them and have one beyond their reach.....coz it will hurt them n things will be more worse for u (they will loose their faith in u.....).

Answer 9

Many of us (adults) do understand because we remember those same feelings and needs. However, we also remember how those feelings and needs often got us into a lot of bad situations with bad results. Therefore, we try to do what is best to prevent the same thing from happening to our children because we care about them. I always remind my daughters that someday when they are the "Mom", they will then find out just how tough it is on the other side of the fence...

Answer 10

Yes it is nature...but I guess sometimes can be to your own good...some kids are not mature enough when they're 13...I mean come on,do you know what's that love when you're 13?Nah,I am answering my own question...you don't.
You can definitely like someone,but love him?No,leave that to when you're older.
And I don't think it's a necessity to have a boyfriend.It may be a pleasure,but definitely not a necesity....
Still,most parents are not crazy.Its mostly the kids' fault when they are not allowed to do something,it means they're not mature enough.