Has anyone had experience of jealous mothers who dont like their sons choice in girlfriend ?

Question

How do things turn out in the end ????

Answer 1

totally ignore it. you are not her choice but are definately HIS !! so does it really matter what she thinks? He unfortunately will be in the middle of it all, but at least you will find out if he has a backbone and can stand up to his Mum !

Answer 2

Oh hell yes .. and it is not easy.

It is important to try and understand WHY the mother doesnt like the girlfriend .. it is usually because.

1. They dont think the girl is 'good enough'

This could be because she isnt! It could also be because she is different to the mother - this is a cardinal sin since clearly the mother brought the boy into the world, brought him up and has always been there for him - therefore the best girl for him is an exact duplicate of the mother :)

2. They dont know what he 'sees in her'

A mother will always think she knows her son inside out and back to front .. this is the case of course but they dont know everything including the thoughts, feelings and emotions that their son has developed as he has grown up .. particularly stuff that comes from the 'male' side.

Simply put a mother loves her son to pieces and is torn between his happiness and 'letting him go'. The fact that a girlfriend could become a wife and effectively 'replace' the mother in the role of best friend and protector is a scary thing for a mother especially as she gave birth to the boy and has always cared for him.

The best way round it I think is for the girl to 'suck up' .. yes I know you shouldnt have to but I think acknowledging what a great job the mum has done, reinforcing her position as a very important person in the sons life and that it will never change and asking her advice on looking after the boy will all reassure the mother that her role will not be 'usurped' is all key to ensuring happiness all round.

Good luck though .. aint easy :) (but then one day you will be a mother heh heh)

Answer 3

My mother was - and you must judge a horse on the races that it has run - a domineering, biatch of a control-freak, interfering in the relationships of all her other children and step-children - that was seven before me.
She started off liking my girl-friend, pushed us into an engagement, and then started to systematically try to destroy our trust of each other, acting in an unbelieveably hateful manner.
Finally, my fiancee had enough, and left me.
My heart broken, I threw myself into my work, and extreme fitness-training, I had just very little contact with girls, and I resolved NEVER to present any to her again, as long as she lived. My relationships were not to be subject to her approval, or not. I was also emotionally cold to her, finding that I could not fake any affection for her. She would come out with "I only want to see you settled down with a nice girl, and hold a grand-child in my arms." This wasn't going to happen. I made sure I had a few body-building magazines around the place... I was gonna mess with her head, as she had messed with mine. I think she connected that I didn't date any more, and only left the house to go to work or the gym. Her thinking she had a gay son was a sweet revenge of mine.
I despise her. She died some years back, and I still hate her for what she did to everyone in this family. She never took the time to express any affection, but always had the words of opprobrium.

Sorry it's not a happy ending. Romeo & Juliet should tell you all you need to know about parental disapproval of relationships. Sure, it's a play, but an eloquent mirror of oft-repeated life-events.

I'm married now. And happier than I ever thought I'd be.

Answer 4

Yes. My mother ruined my first engagement and the upcoming marriage to that girl who ended up breaking up because of her.

My mother again disliked my first wife and did not attend our wedding. She also disliked my second wife and did not turn up at that wedding.
I am married for the third time and this time she just adores my wife so I guess I am lucky to have my Mum still around at 83 and she treats my wife like the daughter she didn't have.

There is hope.

Answer 5

many, many mothers, and fathers to, feel that some girls their son chooses are not good enough for them. Its typical. The relationship will usually run its course in spite of their parents feelings. As a matter of fact, usually the more they interfere, the more determined the son is to have his own way.

Answer 6

this is the "maternal" instinct that announces, "you at the on the spot are not adequate for my boy" exceptionally even as it includes the "fashionable son". In maximum societies, the success of the son is a level of ways good a mom is. If the son finally ends up with a foul spouse, society seems back on the mummy figure who raised him to desire a foul lady. alongside that similar psychology that "little women develop as a lot as seem for characteristics in a guy who's like her father" or to replace for a lacking father. it really is a subconcious magnetism that men could gravitate in the direction of girls who has a similar personality as their moms. A mom will see that and be extra approving of a spouse how is extra like her. you'll say it is likewise narcissism. P.S. "a similar element" that anybody is answering the following is likewise actual. in case you want a diverse answer, ask a diverse body of persons.

Answer 7

DAVE has had 3 wives since his mother doesnt like his first 2 wives LOL thats such a big joke my future mother in law even though is a family friend hasnt made known if she likes me or not

Answer 8

I'm a mum and I have hated two of my sons girl friends. But I never said anything, I was nice to them and they soon fell out of their own accord., and its only recently I told him I didn't like them. I think the more you try to push people apart the more determined they become to stay together.

Answer 9

Yeah. I have had mother in law trouble for 26 years. She a total witch. We didn't invite her to our wedding (Very Bad) but you'd have to know her to understand. Not talking to one another at the moment Yippee!!

Answer 10

NO..IN FACT THE MOTHER SHOULD BE HAPPY THAT HER SON HAS FOUND THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE.
IF SHE IS JEALOUS THEN SHE MUST BE OVERPOSSESIVE SHE MIGHT BE SCARED THAT HER SON MIGHT STOP SPENDING TIME WITH HER AND SPEND MORE TIME WITH HIS GIRL FRIEND AND SHOW MORE AFFECTION TO HER.
FINALLY ITS UP TO THE GUY TO EXPLAIN TO HIS MOM AND TELL HER THAT HIS LOVE FOR HIS MUM WILL NEVER CHANGE NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS