My parents planned to visit us and asked when a good time would be for them to come. I gave them dates and took two days off to spend a long weekend with them, my wife was fine with it. Yesterday I spoke to my parents and they had booked a flight to arrive on the Friday of the week before, thus spend a weekend with us then spend the first part of the week elsewhere and then return to see us for the long weekend. My wife got upset, called my parents to ask to just come for the long wknd. Hell broke loose, she mentioned that they weren't respecting her for setting their own schedule, and my dad spoke back saying the world doesn't revolve around her, that they are coming anyway (other harsh words used criticizing her character). My folks are hurt, not feeling welcome. My wife is hurt as they don't consider her feelings. Both sides are stubborn and don't leave room for understanding each other,each side feeling like they are right. Talking it out clearly won't work. Any suggestions?
2006-08-21 21:05:37 · 12 answers · asked by gnomus12 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
it is your house and your wife's. she takes care of everything and so your parents should respect her decision. Maybe the world does not revolve around your wife, like your father said, but since he is coming to her place, he should respect her schedule...
You as her husband, and the man of the house who left his parent's nest to be with this woman, should stand up for your wife and speak to your parents. Tell them to apologize to your wife and that they should respect her more and her decisions.
2006-08-21 21:13:56 · answer #1 · answered by trushka 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow! Life must be very difficult for you right now. Try coaxing your wife first. Ask her to understand and say that they just visit once a year, not everyday! Just cut them some slack for a bit because they're (no offense) old and the young should give to the old. "What goes around, comes around," as I always say. If after all that and she still doesn't agree, then talk to your parents, preferably your mother since your father has a hot temper. Ask her if she can rearrange their schedule just a tiny bit. Maybe they can come over for the long weekend, go somewhere and stay a little while. You can go visit them and they won't have to bother you for a second time. Hope this helps and good luck!
2006-08-21 21:09:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds like your parents were not listening to what you said. Your wife was expecting them to just be there a couple of days, but then they made their own schedule despite the fact that you told them 2 days that were good for you and your wife. I know they are your parents and her parent-in-laws, but it sounds like they are intruding upon your life a bit or at least this is how I think your wife feels. They should have asked first before they just assumed that it would be okay for them to stay with you guys for 2 weekends instead of 1. I'm not sure what kind of compromise will have to be made at this point, but maybe the easiest thing would be to tell your parents to just be there for one weekend as you have originally discussed.
2006-08-21 21:16:45 · answer #3 · answered by Shannon A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife needs to have RESPECT for elders in the first place, your wife needs to understand at least your parents want to have something to do with you in the first place . My brothers wife is that way she is always right . I deal with my father in law who can be a pain in the bum all the time she could grin and bear it for a short time your parents are not going to live forever.I just hope when my kids get married that there husbands or wife's don't treat me like your wife does treat your parents
2006-08-21 21:21:09 · answer #4 · answered by stefania_n2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not your big problem, your big problem is your character, the way you deal with your parents and your wife shows that you are not a leader or decision maker, you are the maid who has to clean up the mess, you don't like the confrontation and when you are in the middle of a confrontation the whole world collapses, unfortunately for you, the solution to your problem you won't find it here, maybe is in you, MAYBE, kick your parents in the you know where and tell your wife to shut up! I know! you will never do that!
2006-08-21 21:20:20 · answer #5 · answered by elcabula2002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this is a very petty argument .. sometimes for people to visit they can not follow a schedule because of work or the cost of a flight .. Your wife is just going to have to understand that family is family .. generally that comes first.
Hugs Mel
2006-08-21 21:12:13 · answer #6 · answered by jaredsmommy2004 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i decide on newborn #a million also. yet clarify to him how major it really is for Daddy now to not take the blame even as it includes those exciting and video games. Then how Mommy will punish Daddy extra significantly then the youngsters and they seriously is not in a position to have exciting contained in the living house even as mom is away. those bnerf guns do %. a advise punch. Now that my childrens are grown up, I have got here across out what extremely befell even as Dad became living house on my own with them. and in view that all and dissimilar of them would say "sorry mom, it became an coincidence....I usually blamed the hubby besides for not paying closer interest. childrens in no way were given too harsh a punishment. I must have commonly used extra constructive.
2016-11-30 23:44:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hard one.Both parties need to compromise.I dont think your wife was very respectful when she called your parents up.And your parents were also disrespectful in a way coz for a wife, her household is her queendom.Talking it out would be the option. If not... then ask your wife to sms your dad and explain to him why she was upset.That could be a good step.Then ask your dad to reply saying why he was upset.The point is, dont force them to apologize to each other coz they just gona retaliate even more.
2006-08-21 21:20:21 · answer #8 · answered by cuteangelshay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest that your parents do not come to stay at your house until things are okay between them and your wife.
This is really a tough one. Your parents are in the wrong here. They should not have made plans without checking with you and your wife.
Tell them you love them, but it has to work for everyone or else it works for no one, and it puts you in the middle. Not fair!
Ask your wife to agree and then offer to do something for her.
2006-08-21 21:13:14 · answer #9 · answered by dey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If talking it out won't help then you are all screwed, the fighting will continue unabated, and everyone will be miserable. Sounds like you ALL need to GROW UP!
2006-08-21 21:09:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋