What should I do? I have 2 wonderful kids by my new husband but he doesnt look at me the same anymore and he says he does but I dont see it. I know I have put on some weight but I have also been pregnant 2 in 2 years. What should I do to spice up my life. I also have a lot on my plate and we dont do much like we use too.
2006-08-21 20:28:11 · 9 answers · asked by Rose R 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He does not care if I have gained weight but he cares that I am always stressed out.
2006-08-21 21:00:17 · update #1
Well, when you have kids and a lot of other things on your plate, that takes up a lot of time. You need to create some time for just you and your husband on a regular basis. This means no kids, no answering the phone, being distracted, etc. This will probably decrease some of the stress in your life, because you won't have to worry so much; it's just the two of you. Go out to dinner, watch a movie, walk on the beach or take a mini vacation if you can trust someone with your kids for a night or two. Put the kids to bed at a certain time and keep that schedule. The time that is left over between this and when you go to bed can be a time for you two to spend together.
2006-08-21 21:57:55 · answer #1 · answered by Shannon A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You describe the most common of problems. How do you keep the initial love...when everything around you changes?
No easy fix but you might want to try the following:
*put yourself first more. Afterall, the man wants someone who thinks highly of herself.
*join a gym or at least start a regular exercise program.
*talk to your man about things he would like to change or improve in your relationship. Maybe you can't be a model anymore...but you are the father of his kids..so try to revamp what you have.
*talk to him more. Even if you don't have so much time. Just ask him for a time that is convenient for both of you. Men need to be asked since they may not know that it is something that you need. So make an appointment sort of.
* do the changes that he suggests if they are possible. In exchange...ask for his help. Men need to feel like they are making you happy. Show him in a step by step manner the specific things he can do- like baby sit while you work out.
* trust the man. I don't condone cheating nor do I think he will, but it is unlikely that he will leave you...so just make a plan to improve and follow it. If it is your weight that bothers him...then go on a diet with exercise. If you aren't acting sexy enough because you are tired...then schedule a date and make it sexy with a nice dress and fishnet hose...(even if you think it is tacky).
*odds are you are more sensitive than he is changed. Just boost your mood by doing things you love...and get him involved. Take those kids to a park together. Exercise together...just do the stuff that you don't feel like doing and paste a smile on your face.
*research shows that a smile even if forced makes everyone happier....so force it for a while and then see if things don't seem a bit rosier.
Change first and see if you notice some changes from him.
2006-08-22 03:47:22 · answer #2 · answered by kishoti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to tell you this, but I don't think you will find a man who won't cheat. I thought I had found the only one. I even offered to let him sleep with someone else while I watched (and meant it), but he said "no" I was the only woman for him. Then the week of our 10 year anniversary he cheated on me and continued as I was flown to a hospital having a heart attack. He showed up to the hospital long enough to ask my family where my life insurance papers were, but then had to get home to his mistress. I didn't find out till about a month after my heart attack, but I really thought he meant it for 10 years when he said I was the only one. I'm sorry for your pain, but I do know what you are going through.
2006-08-22 03:42:00 · answer #3 · answered by crushedlover 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what you can to get him back on track. You have been through this once and am sure you are right about what you suspect. Loose some kilos. try to get into the same outfits he likes and all that kind of a thing. Do what you can so that if anything turned out otherwise, atleast you did your best.
God bless.
2006-08-22 03:39:50 · answer #4 · answered by Bels 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure HE is at the center of your plate. Men are funny that way. I don't want to be something my wife gets to when she has time. On the other hand, I don't make her give everything up either. But he should be your first priority, even above the children. He was there first, and hopefully, he will be there when they are gone.
2006-08-22 03:35:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 men in 1 life well sweety I am sorry but you are the problem
go to the gym, beauty saloon, hair dressing maybe you can help yuorself
2006-08-22 03:34:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should not looked for someone else...if your husband doesnt love you anymore...
stay free
2006-08-22 03:35:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get out before its too late
2006-08-22 03:33:49 · answer #8 · answered by destiny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u r so unfortunate
2006-08-22 04:19:02 · answer #9 · answered by he 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋