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I am chronically depressed and have been since before age 12. I used to cut myself frequently, especially while drinking. I very rarely self-injure now, mostly because of the terrible scars I have. Most of my left arm is covered in scars. I found out after I started cutting myself more severely that I scar very badly. They are all lined up and parallel to each other so there is no way to blame them on a accident. The ones on my upper arm are the worst. They look like large red slugs. After years of healing, they are slowly becoming white and flattening, but they are thick and will always be noticable. I've finally tired of wearing longer sleeves in the summer and have decided to just wear what everyone else does. However, people, sometimes complete strangers, ask me what happened. I've even had people shout to me from across a store "what happened to your arm?" What should I tell these people and people I know?

2006-08-21 19:19:55 · 35 answers · asked by Me 2 in Social Science Psychology

Thanks guys, for all the supportive answers. I'm really surprised by all the positive feedback. You all gave really great answers.I guess the reason I am most embarrassed about showing my scars is that it's a long story, difficult to explain, and something that many people wouldn't understand, but from now on I think I'll feel a lot more comfortable dealing with people's questions about it.

2006-08-22 15:52:12 · update #1

35 answers

Tell them you're an assassin, and that's how you keep score.

And CHEER THE F** UP AND STOP DOING THAT!!

2006-08-21 19:26:17 · answer #1 · answered by gabluesmanxlt 5 · 1 1

I would probably ignore most of them. I used to cut myself when I was younger because I was dumb. I dont have scars like you, but I never really scarred easily. If I come across someone that I feel I should tell, then I would. Sometimes it can help a person. But if there are people shouting like that in a store, just look at them and let them know that they are very rude, and walk away. Who cares what everyone else thinks anyways. I am just glad that you dont do things like that anymore.

2006-08-21 19:28:14 · answer #2 · answered by HeavenLee 3 · 0 0

I to have many scars, thought mine are from an illness when I was a baby, and when people ask me what happened I tell them, "if I get to know you well enough I will tell you, until then I choose not to talk about them".
And like others have said, only the very rude will ask someone they barely know how they got scars.
There is vitamin E oil that will help them to become more elastic and heal better, the only true healing comes from within, you can get through this phase of life, just know that others care, whether they know you or not.
You will be in my prayers from now on.
L

2006-08-21 19:35:12 · answer #3 · answered by ldp88 2 · 0 0

You are a survivor of a disease- depression. That is what you tell them. That you are a survivor and those are your battle wounds that got you where you are today. I am not saying that I condone this behavior but I do respect that some people do this because of an imbalance that cannot be helped. I know that you are feeling kinda ashamed by them but why? You went through something in your life and battled to get past it. Why hide who you are and what you have been through. Women who were beaten by abusive husbands are proud that they fought back, soldiers come home from war with scars of battle (not saying anything bad about them or saying they didnt do anything big just an example) and they wear their scars proudly, You should to. What you went through in your life shaped who you are and who cares what other people think? They do not live your life for you so wear your scars proudly and proclaim "I AM A SURVIVOR"

2006-08-21 19:33:17 · answer #4 · answered by lvb524 3 · 0 0

Hi, i understand you are uncomfortable, and the good news is now you are ok.. and you can escape the desire to hurt yourself,
If people say that to you, you might just say, well, it is a multiple choice, and i do not have time to tell you all the choices, but it is the result of a problem i had, and the good news is i no longer have the problem, and if they keep asking say to them, i will be glad to sit down with you sometime when we both have time, if it is that importand to you..
however, that was the past, and the great news is, it is the past,,,and i prefere to keep it that way,

good luck,
ps if u have a sense of humor, you could make a wash off tatoo,, with a tweedy bird or soomething, and say,, "dont ask"..

2006-08-21 19:53:39 · answer #5 · answered by Maureen K 4 · 0 0

You can lie, but if the people are like me, we'll know if you lie. I'm a counselor, and I've seen many self-inflicetd wounds. We'd probably just think you're whacko and not bother to ask you about the slashes, so go ahead and wear short sleeves. No use covering them, heck, they're battle scars. You battled yourself, didn't you? You finally started winning those battles, didn't you? Then you have nothing to be ashamed of. If you're hot looking, I might be a little leary being with you. (fatal attraction).

2006-08-21 19:32:41 · answer #6 · answered by fingerssfv 3 · 1 0

i am sorry to hear of your pain. First of all, i hope that you have gotten the help you need in order to live your life to the fullest, and learn other ways of coping with pain. Depression is such a awful thing to have to deal with on your own and its hard for those who don't have it to truly understand what it is like. Its up to you to tell who you want what you want, its your life, your body - your story. Maybe someday, the scars and the stories behind them can help others, maybe it will eventually help you heal. In the mean time, clothing helps, scar creams could help, talk to a trusted family doctor for other suggestions in healing scars... "its a long story I'd rather not get in to", or " I don't believe it is any of your business, but thanks for the concern," " this is the way my arm is.." It's all in your hands! Best of luck in getting through your depression - have HOPE, it CAN be BEAT!!!! You can do it! =)

2006-08-21 19:35:18 · answer #7 · answered by beautifullydeep 1 · 0 0

I say it depends on who is asking....

If it's someone you know and can trust, then tell them the truth. You don't have to get into all the details but something brief like "I used to cut myself back in the days when I used to drink" (or something like that). If they ask more and are truly interested and sincere, elaborate more.

If it's someone who is rude or you don't know them, then just joke it off and then change the subject.

Glad you're not hurting yourself anymore! And the scars will fade over the years and plus there's lasers nowaday that can help, if you choose.

2006-08-21 19:31:23 · answer #8 · answered by Janis H 2 · 0 0

Make up a story! Make it interesting. Maybe involve a wild animal or a fight. The possibilities are endless and there are some great scar healers out there now. Check em out at a local drugstore near the bandaids.

2006-08-21 19:25:10 · answer #9 · answered by Grommet 1 · 0 0

Ignore the people on the streets. But if a friend asks you, just tell them the truth, they will understand. But if you feel like you don't want to explain it to them then don't, you don't owe anyone an explanation. Try using scar product like Mederma, it is great! It is number 1 recommended.

2006-08-21 19:25:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Tell the truth when you think the truth might make a difference.

When it is just some busy body being nosy, make up something funny and light hearted to make them realize they were an idiot for asking you such a rude question.

I liked the idea about the assassin!

2006-08-21 19:32:34 · answer #11 · answered by BuffyFromGP 4 · 0 0

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