details: i hate the bastard - he almost raped me when i was 14 and he was 18 (cradle robber, what did i know?!) anyway, i'm worried for her well-being, she says he's changed (it's been 6 years), but she's pretty much telling me "it's ok you harmed my BFF, but i dig ya! let's date anyway!" is it ok for me to be offended, or am i over-reacting? help! i don't want to lose my best friend to some maniac! what should i say/do?
2006-08-21 19:09:57 · 19 answers · asked by invisigoth208 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
A snake can change his skin but not his habits. Down deep a snake is still a snake eventhough he says he changed. Its hard for everyone to tell you what you should do because there is no right answer to this question. If you get mad at your friend you loose your friend. You can tell her how you feel about him and that you are worried about her dating him but be very careful because she might think that you are jealous or tell you that move away its not your business. Basically all you can do is tell your friend how you feel about him and let her know that you are worried. Eventually your friend will realize what she is doing and dump him. You have to show your friend the right path but she is the one who has to walk through it. You can also try other methods to prove to your friend what kind of person he is but those methods might be risky to take.
2006-08-21 19:57:26 · answer #1 · answered by Best_Answer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-07 15:58:24 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, you dont have to make instinct moves, you have to think very well all your words and actions because is a very delicate situation.
after that, you have to think if your best friend knows really what that bastard means to you, because the best friends are loyal and cares for your feelings, if your best friend hangs around with some ex boyfriend of yours tells allot of her attitude.
If i was you, ill reconsider the friendship with my best friend because your ex ( the bastard ) is not a good person that hurt you some way in the past, even the time has pas is a bad memory.
Is PSYCHOLOGICALLY proved the people don't easily change and is hard that a "rapist " change his mind in a couple of years.
but remember, think your actions and words, if you act following your instincts you may fall in a position that you never wanted.
2006-08-21 19:24:52 · answer #3 · answered by compadre_sv 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nothing be mature, let it go. It isn't your life. You have warned her she didn't listen, not your problem
Two things will happen either he has matured and changed , which is good he may turn into a nice person or you will have the wonderful experience of being able to say i told you so.
React politely and with dignity to him, not frostily cold but reserved, if your questioned , don't go raving say I don't like him due to matters that occurred in past. Dignity will always be the best way to behave.
Show him your a bigger person than he thinks you are go to dinner with them don't show he effects you any more you are mature and have moved on, but it is your choice never to forgive him or like him
2006-08-21 19:18:06 · answer #4 · answered by brinlarrr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is past history and you shouldn't let him play on your mind any more. Get on with you own life and forget about him. You friend will learn the hard way and that's probably the best way because it will (hopefully) only happen once. You must not let him hurt you any more. You are letting him do it by worrying about your friend. You have warned her and she should now be aware of what he is capable of so be and let be now.
2006-08-21 20:17:40 · answer #5 · answered by slipper 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The IMPORTANT issue here is YOU are out of harm's way. IF you can help her to see the logic in the fact he MAY still be dangerous,that would be wonderful. Does a woman listen to the ex of her boyfriend....seldom. Give her PROOF of your statements about him. Then you have probably done all that you can do. Personal safety is the REAL issue....she said, I said he said....forget all that. WARN her in a non confrontational way...... You have a better chance at being listened to if you are calm and short winded.....not too talky.
2006-08-21 19:14:04 · answer #6 · answered by I am Sunshine 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If I were you, I would tell her how I feel. Explain why it is you feel that way & that it isnt because you are jealous or angry, but you are worried for her safety. And as a matter of fact you are not overreacting, you are right it is just like she is saying "Ok dude its all good that you tried to rape her, because I like you"
I would tell her all of this & if she still decides to stay with him then she does not respect you or your feelings.
2006-08-21 19:16:05 · answer #7 · answered by Herself The Elf 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try your best to explain to her the disadvantages but do not insist too much because these things are personal and she may think that you are jealous and only want to separate her from her b/f, If she did not listen to you leave her to confront her life and leave the boy ., do not look back and move forward.
2006-08-21 19:21:20 · answer #8 · answered by Nilehawk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since ur best fren said that he has changed despite the past, just pray and bless ur best fren to be in safe hands of ur ex.
2006-08-21 19:44:34 · answer #9 · answered by HazAver 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't be worried, but you should be looking for a new best friend. Everyone knows ex-boyfriends are hands off.
2006-08-21 19:14:35 · answer #10 · answered by KyLeth 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋