whats wrong with me?

Question

i dont know, i think that maybe i was born different from most people...im 26 and its really hard for me to make friends, or to even alk to people for that matter...i am usually always sincere but its just hard for me to get by...my girlfriend of 3 years left me for no apparent reason, at first i thought maybe it was her problem but now shes the one whos happy and im the one alone writing this...ive been told all my life that im a pretty smart guy, well how come i cant converse with others when its so easy for them...ive noticed that i make people uncomfortable and reluctant around me since i dont talk much...i just wish i knew what the hell was wrong with me...how i am i supposed to meet the girl of my dreams?? my last girlfriend who left me was all i cared about, but she doesnt even want to ttalk to me anymore...i feel like i should just be a hermit sometimes, bu the loneliness hurtsme a lot. this is kinda weird for me to post this but i hope someone out there can relate and help.

Answer 1

I have friends just like you too, who are what is called introverted personality. You are a shy person who doesn't feel comfortable in large groups of people. I have a friend who is just like you who when I introduce to new people, will mumble his name then turn away and never say a word again in the conversation. Even thru I know he has something to say, for he is very opinionated about most subjects.

But a hermit status is not too bad either. But to get over your shyness, find a hobby that will relate to other people. Mine is collecting tapes and Cd's of old radio programs of the 30's, 40", and 1950"s, and the comradely of playing mass minature wargames in a wargame club.

Answer 2

When the soul feels empty so does everything else. A lot of people are naturally quiet and there's nothing wrong with that. It does mean it's going to be harder to meet people. But if you fill your soul with Jesus Christ, then he'll start sending people to meet you and you'll start learning how to communicate in such a way that is pleasing to yourself, to others around you. A lot of guys have a tendency, when they are quiet, to make a woman feel like she is being controlled, when in fact she may not be, that's observation and personal experience. A lot of quiet guys don't care to socialize as much, because they are quiet, dining out doesn't mean drive through, my ex - still hasn't figured that one out! I'm a social person, he wasn't. Loneliness hurts all of us, and we can be very social and still be alone in a crowd - so a person's ability to speak out doesn't mean they are not lonely, but Christ can cure that. One answer suggested Sunday School, small group settings, volunteer work - those are all great because they do allow you to participate at your level. Also, what is your hobby interest? Find a class on it and participate or a group that meets monthly regarding it. It's a place to start. It will be awkward, but the more you do it, the more you will realize it's ok, and you're ok, and communication will become easier. My son has a hard time because he's into one thing - so make sure you're staying up with current events, but also other events - not just the war or just politics. But more than anything, fill the soul, and then you'll be heading in the right direction for fulfillment in your life.

Answer 3

Its hard to talk to people these days, I can totally relate. I find it very difficult to make new friends but its something we all must face and overcome. Just put yourself out there because you won't be finding any one at home. If you just be yourself and try not to be so tense then maybe that awkwardness will go away. And about your girlfriend, if she was the one she would have understood you completely and would have stayed by your side. So that means that you still have a chance to meet that girl but give it some time. Hang in there, its tough but that's life, right? I hope things work out for you.

Answer 4

Dear friend you see the first problem is that you are the nice guy. Women in general do NOT want a nice guy. Secondy you need to be a bit more active and do things so you can talk about interesting things that women in general will like to here. I am no saint but I feel for you because I've been there. You need to be yourself as well. See if you can take some time off and go on a vacation. I'm sure you have alot to offer to the right woman. Consider these set backs as lifes little lessons. Good luck !

Answer 5

All right, you're gonna think thisis bogus, or too much trouble, but really, here's what you do.

1. Join a Sunday School class. Now, I'm not thumping any Bibles here, I'm just pointing out a way to quietly enter a social group and work on your interactions with people at your own pace. You'll rarely HAVE to say anything, but you CAN contribute when you're ready.

2. Do some volunteer work. Everybody there WILL like you.

3. If it's just women you want, put on a few pounds and join Weight Watchers. You'll be the only guy there.

Answer 6

Read a book by Colin Wilson called The Outsiders. It may give you a whole new perspective on your life in society. It's also very well written and fun to read.

Also, forget about the girl of your dreams. Dreams are not reality. Don't follow your dreams. Follow your passion.

Everyone has some talent. Most people don't know what theirs is. It's something that comes naturally to you, that you have a knack for. When you're doing it, you're content. Cultivating that is far more important than making a lot of money. When you're doing what you love, you can be alone without being lonely. You don't need to compensate for emptiness with material things. When you feel complete onto yourself, that's when you're ready to share love with someone else.

It takes courage to make your own way instead of following everyone else's. Using the courage you have is really good for you. I wish you well in your journey.

Answer 7

You communicated rather well with this question. It's all about confidence and not being nervous about what other people might think about you.....Trust me, everyone has felt uncomfortable communicating at one time in there life. You just need practice. Stop wondering about whether or not you said or are going to say something stupid....If it were a crime to stick you foot in your mouth.....we'd all be in jail...lol. My advise to you is to pick a job or a career where you have a lot of interaction with people....This way you are kinda forced to learn conversation for sake of a paycheck.
I'm 37 years old and have gotten quite good at talking to people but I wasn't always that way. Yet will I still say something stupid to embarrass myself...of course. One thing is certain, the older you get, the less you care about other people's perceptions of you and the more you concentrate on your own.....Good luck!

As far as the girlfriend is concerned.....It's her loss, If she was such a good girlfriend, she would have stayed with you to help you overcome you confidence issues. Besides, as soon as your confidence soars, you'll find better......You will!!

Answer 8

Lack of self esteem and self assurance, along with shyness, can prevent you from being outgoing. I know as all my life this has been by life. I am so good at writing and putting thoughts down on paper or type, but when it comes to speaking, I don't gain the confidence I need until I become familiar with someone. Perhaps counseling of some sort may help you to find yourself. There's nothing wrong that can't be mended with a little help and perseverance......good luck,.

Answer 9

Maybe you should develop some social interests, such as joining a dart league or bowling league, a gym, or a church. You don't need a whole lot of friends, just a few good ones. As for love, it can't be forced, but you aren't so different from everyone else that good love is unlikely to develop in your life. You just have to figure out what you absolutely want and don't want in your life and go from there. Don't settle for less. Be true to yourself, believe in yourself,do what feels right for you, build up your confidence, and don't worry about who feels uncomfortable around you. There are plenty of people in this world who wouldn't feel uncomfortable around you. Everyone is different and I'd bet there are plenty of people who would befriend you given the opportunity. I am somewhat of a hermit myself and do sometimes have to force myself to socialize. Luckily, the few good friends I have, and my family, know this about me and accept it, sometimes begrudgingly, but they still love me all the same.

Answer 10

Actually, there's nothing wrong with you. It is what you are. However, you should have also to learn to mingle with people in order to live in the community. Remeber, no man is an island. You have to forced yourself to interact with people. It is actually easy to do, do not just expect a whirlwind turn around since it will take time till you get there.

Honesty speaking, what you are is what I am a decade ago, but with little help from myself and my family I was able to over come it and I now live normally.

Goodluck!