how do you get over losing a friend?

Question

in the up coming months my closest friend in town will be moving away. for reasons i do not agree with, i've expressed how i feel towards her, and my thoughts on her leaving. In turn the friendship that we shared has become sour, and is filled with nothing but akward moments of silence. I've asked her for a conversation on how to work it out, but she has declined everytime. The sheer thought of her leaving is that of a knife going right through ones heart. I can't see my days with out her in them, and unfortunatly there is no chance of her staying. what should i do to either soften the blow, or help mend what friendship we have left?

she and i were never in a relationship, only friendship. she is my closest friend, and has helped me through some difficult times. every thing that i have tried, in terms of expressing my feelings, telling her how i feel of the whole situation, has only brought the akwardness to a further degree. i don't want to lose her as a friend, but i can't see my self without her.

Answer 1

Well, first of all....it sounds like you are in love with her. And second, I am sorry that you are losing someone who means so much to you. The ONLY thing that you can do is SUPPORT her. Tell her that while you don't agree with WHY she is moving, you understand and are there for her. Just be her friend. Tell her how muc she means to you and that you really want to work it out. Don't let her leave with those feelings. Open up to her and tell her how you feel. She will appreciate it and the walls will come down.

Answer 2

I'm so sorry hon, but it sounds like you're the only one trying to fix this. If both parties aren't willing, no kind of relationship can survive. I'm sure this feels like a betrayal to you, and in a lot of ways this is just as if the relationship were a more intimate one. Time will heal, so they say, and you will find someone to fill her place eventually. It sounds like she has changed in some important way and has decided there isn't room for you in her life anymore. If someone doesn't want you around, do you really want to force it? In the long run, you're better off without her.
You have my sympathies, I recently went through a similar situation. Things get easier when you realize that you have true friends that care about you, try and use this as a learning experience (much as I'm sure that doesn't really help right now). Good luck!

Answer 3

Wish her the best. It is obvious that you love her. If so, let her go. If things are meant to be she will come back to you. If not, time will heal all things, to include your breaking heart. I am terribly sorry, and I hope everything will work out for the best for you. Just let her know that you are going to support her the best you can and if she ever needs you, you will be there for her. I promise she will think of you more if you go about this whole thing in a loving way. Get her address, if you don't know it already and write to her often. Also, make a shoebox with some treasured memories of you two in it to take with her as a going away present to remember you by and let her know that you hope she is happy with the decision she has made and her happiness continues-Mean it as much as possible when saying it to her. I wish you the very best.

Answer 4

as they say friends will come and friends will go.why is she leaving?im not sure i understand why she would be upset with you if you expressed your concerns of her leaving.friends are to be honest and up front with each other dont feel bad if she is acting like this it is not your fault.maybe shes not the friend you thought she was or she would have understood the way you are feeling.keep trying to talk to her but u can only do so much if you think enough is enough than stop wasting your breath there are people out there who will care about u and what u have to say when things arent going right in your friendship

Answer 5

Here are some ways I personally believe would help you move on:
*Acceptance... you should learn to accept that it's her future she's living for.
*Understanding... you should exert more effort to understand that you don't own her that she can freely choose whatever/whichever way she want to go.
*Loving... remember that when you love, you should be ready to get hurt because loving is also sacrificing.
*Believing... always believe that there is time for everything, you may not be in good terms now but in the future you can be closer than how you have been before.
*Hoping... never, ever lose hope... distance may separate you... but it's your choice if you still want to be connected in your hearts and mind.
Goodluck and pray always as it can do miracles!!!

Answer 6

Time heals, trite but true. At the moment, your thoughts will be on her a great deal and the slightest thing may bring her to mind. I sincerely regret that I have nothing else to offer.
Treasure the good times, Rose P.

Answer 7

Time heals all wounds. I've lost my closest friend to me before, and more than once too. It's sad to see them go but later on in life you learn that its for a good reason. I still miss them from time to time though.

Answer 8

There is no reason you can't still stay in touch - the lost here is the geography - but that does not need to be an obstical long-term - you need to look beyound the present pain and realize that pain is only temporary.

Answer 9

You'll need to somehow accept the fact that she's moving, whether you like it or not. Then talk to her and reassure her that you aren't trying to change her mind about moving, but would like to save the friendship.

Answer 10

From the way things are working out between you and her, perhaps the best option would be to let her go. Its pointless hankering after her friendship if she's the one who wants to end it?