remarried but constantly thinking of ex, am I crazy?

Question

I really regret not making my last marriage work, I really miss and love him. Would it be stupid of me to let my ex no how I feel?

Answer 1

There are reasons that he is your ex. You think of him because that is what you were used to. If you are remarried then you should be moving on with your life and let go of your ex. I wouldnt let him know your feelings unless you are wanting him back.

Answer 2

Damn, wouldn't be awesome if we could have the mating habits of animals? Then we could just move on to the next one, no feelings whatsoever. But, alas, we are human and as humans we always want what we can't have. There is a reason your ex is your "ex", whether it was because of adultry, imcompatiblity or age, or any other reason. Marriage is a commitment one not to be taken with a grain of salt, and that includes your current marriage. I am going to take a shot here... You married quickly after your divorce? It is not fair to you, your ex, or your current husband when you are dealing with peoples hearts and emotions. You are considered "fickle", or undecisive in understanding what YOU WANT. And you are using marriage as a way to compensate for your lack of honesty to yourself.
Frankly, you shouldn't be married to anyone, you need to learn who you are before you ruin not only your own life, but those who you claim to love or care about. Should you continue on with this behavior, by the time your 50 you should have at least 4-5 marriages under your belt, and that is really, really sad. Marriage is not just a "let's try it out to see if it works" kind of thing. It is a commitment to not only your spouse, but to yourself. Mann, it just irritates the s**t right out of me with young people today. They think, oh boy, "I'm a married adult', but I still can do as I please, I don't care, I can just get a divorce if they don't like it. What a crock!! And we wonder what the problem is with unaccountable adults...
Look, if you continue to treat people like they are disposible commodities, I assure you, someone, somewhere, sometime will pay you back. You won't know it when it happens, or maybe you will never be smart enough to figure it out. But, when you are in your golden years, alone, thinking back on your selfish and inconsiderate ways as a young adult, you may realize what goes around, comes around.
Finding real love, lasting love must first be found in yourself. You have to be painfully honest to who you are and what you want in a relationship, having the courage and sincerity to decline any relationship that does not encompass you. You must not use or injure people in the process, and that is exactly what you will do if you pursue your ex and not divorce your current husband. You obviously do not love him in the way that a serious and real marriage requires, so do your spouse a favor, let him find real committed and true love. Do yourself a favor as well, find you. When you complete that monumental task, then real love and committment will never be a question as it is now. Regrets are what people, smart people, learn from. Painful as they may be, these experiences ARE WHAT KEEPS HUMANS FROM BEING ANIMALS. Thank God..

Answer 3

If you are remarried, then I would try to make this marriage work. Learn from the mistakes you made before and overcome them to make this marriage work. It is not fair to the one that you are married to now. If you regretted not making your last marriage work, then you should not have gotten into another marriage until your feelings for your ex had subsided. Not fair to your new spouse.

Answer 4

Ummm....how much do you want this new marriage to work? If there any chance of reconciliation with your ex? If there's no possibility of any reconciliation and you actually do love your new husband, please try and put the past in the past. Also, one good thing to do would be to sit down and reflect on not just the good things in the former marriage but also what made you break up as well.

Answer 5

Yes. If you are not careful you will stuff up your life properly.
How about putting your feelings on hold and concentrating in making your marriage work. How about loving the husband you have got. Get a reality check here! This is no time to wallow in self pity or self indulgence.

Answer 6

No, you're not crazy. Not sure of your situation. Was the divorce mutual? Are you still incontact with your ex? How are things in your current situation with your husband? Sounds like maybe you aren't happy in your relationship. Just some things to think about . . .

Answer 7

YEP.. extremely STUPID CONSIDERING UR REMARRIED.. ok U DIDNT MAKE THE LAST ONE WORK< AND NOW YOUR ABOUT TO SCREW UP THIS ONE.. maybe u should focus on ur new marriage rather then ur old one.. ever think that maybe u like sabatoging ur own relationships.. GROW UP U TOOK A VOW NOW KEEP TO IT

Answer 8

IT might actually help to let him know becuase you have forgotten why you got divorced in the first place. The second time around is never the same as the first! YOu got divorced for a reason you need to remeber that.

Answer 9

i see someone wants to have 2 ex's instead of one

why would you bother telling him anything like that?
it is pretty dumb to even think about it, just be hap[py with what you got, call your ex and tell HIM how you feel, tell HIM that you regret it and you are sorry, it is never too late for apologies, but make your new husband the priority in life

Answer 10

dont let him know! if youre truely inlove with the new hubby let if b. however youre not insane. think of if there are somethings that are making you unhappy in your new marriage and maybe that is why you are thinking about him. focus on fixing the problems, and see if you dont stop thinking about the ex. you always want what you cant have!