My husband is very controlling, insecure and paranoid (of me cheating on him, which I have never done) I have no friends at all, I only talk to him evryday, I dont work because he gets pissed off and when I mention I want a job he says why do you need a job (he makes over a hundred grand yearly) or he thinks I will leave, plus he will lose his power if I have my own money, so I dont work, I also dont have a car (I have asked for one many times) It also doesnt help when 2 of his friends wives got almost new SUVs. I dont have a life, and I am getting very angry with him, he is very immature, tells me to shutup, tells me I talk stupid or just plain forgets anything I say. My problem is I cant leave because we have a kid and he tells me I wont get custody because I dont work, he tells me to **** off basically.
I am ready to do something drastic like hurt him pysically because I have alot of anger for him. BTW, he choked (and tried to kill me) when I was 8 months pregnant, need help.
2006-08-21 16:56:19 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get out of this relationship. It's only going to get worse. There is so much better and happiness out there. Be strong and be safe, but get out.
Speaking from experience.
2006-08-21 17:05:48 · answer #1 · answered by jincr 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband (now ex-husband) was also very controlling, insecure, and paranoid (of me cheating on him, which I have never done). I had no friends at all, wasn't even allowed to talk to my mother on the phone, didn't work because he was secretly worried that I would run away with another man (so, he didn't let me work), had no spending money, didn't have a car or even a microwave, didn't have a life, got very angry with him, ignored all my pleas, and more abuse that I can't tell you. I had three school-aged children whom I took with me to a homeless shelter. When I was pregnant, he told me not to expect any special treatment. We spent 35 days in the shelter before my mother put me up in a house for rent. There, I lived on Welfare for two months until I got a job. Later on, I got a car. It's been several years later, and I'm successful at my job I've had for 2 l/2 years and just got another merit raise. The moral of the story is that you sometimes need to brave the unknown in order to leave the Hell you're in. Keep on keeping on and happiness and success is right around the corner!
2006-08-22 00:20:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know what a sahm is but I will pray for you for direction. having a child is not a reason to stay there are many places that you can go if you fear for your and you childs life just call a helpline or go online to get a listing of battered womens shelters. doing something physical can get you landed in jail and you will be away from your child possibly for good so i dont recommend that. If you have a pastor i recomend speaking with them if you dont perhaps a christian church would be a good place to start. I pray for your success God Bless
Jcb
2006-08-22 00:06:49 · answer #3 · answered by jennskids 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Believe me, just because you have no job right now does not mean you will not get custody of your child. If you were to pack up and leave him and take your child he may try and fight you, but if you mention his abuse towards you and his threats and get a restraining order for fear of him, he will not get custody. There are many programs out there to help you get on your feet and besides if he makes good money and you get a divorce, take him for child support and alimony, you'll have money coming in then. But you can get help if you need to. I've been there myself and I made it on my own with three children.
2006-08-22 02:50:21 · answer #4 · answered by swty2crazy2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not going to tell you to leave him because you already know that you HAVE TO.
You know that he is going to put up a fight, So begin to prepare yourself for that fight before you leave, Has he ever lied to his employer about work? If he has document it. has he ever broken any laws? document it.
Whatever he has done wrong and you can use that to threaten to use against him will benefit you in the fight.
If he cheated on taxes get proof.
Whatever he has done wrong get proof and threaten to expose him will increase your chances of winning.
He CANNOT take your child unless he can PROVE that you are an unfit mother, Not having a job yet is NOT proof.
Good luck, You can email me if you need further help or suggestions.
2006-08-22 00:39:46 · answer #5 · answered by chubbiguy40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u should have gotten out of that relationship from d start. He doesn't want u 2 work because he knows that the way to economic development is through Wwork. try and get ou as quick as possible u and ur child r in danger. he doesn't want to feel less than a man so he treats u subordinate to him. He probably is cheating on u y he is so bitter. He has been hurt in life, find out y he was hurt because my grandma always told me that a man who has been hurt either turn out to be bitter orr damn sweet.
2006-08-22 00:13:18 · answer #6 · answered by Italian Empress 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let this controlling freak ruin your life.
Call BS on his custody story. The courts will listen to your side.
You are walking down a dark dark path, and you owe it to yourself and your child to cut free and lead a healthier life.
Besides, the icing on the cake is that moms have a higher success rate for getting custody, and your future "ex" will have plenty of income for you for child support!
GOOD LUCK! Get OUT!
2006-08-22 00:12:19 · answer #7 · answered by CJP 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you have to do is get your stuff together and move on sugar. No Man needs to tell you what to do, Your a grown woman,. if you let that piece of garbage run your life you will be at his needs for the rest of your life. Kick that garbage to the curb and move ON to better things while you still have a chance./
2006-08-25 22:44:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
DTMFA!!!! Dump the Mo Fo Already!!!
If you think you have it bad, at first I thought SAHM meant Single Asian Hermaphrodite Male. Now that would be a mess wouldn't it. (no offense to any Single Asian Hermaphrodite Males out there)
PS He's prbably cheating on you. Its called projection.
2006-08-22 00:27:20 · answer #9 · answered by Zorb the alien 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you've only been together for 3 years get out now and fast while he is at wrk or something good luck i hope u get help somewhere go to fam, tell them your situation good luck and take care. Also dnt take any of this out on your child he is an innocent person, please get help also u are very yung to put up with this i'm also 25 and have 2 kids. please go get help No one should get hurt. your still yung and have alot to look foward to.
2006-08-22 00:24:57 · answer #10 · answered by tear drop 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋