I am 10 weeks pregnant and I have a regular OB. I am, however, very interested in finding a midwive and having a planned homebirth. Unfortunately, my husband is not crazy about the idea. He thinks it is too dangerous and that if, God forbid, something were to go wrong, we should be at a hospital. I understand what he is saying, but I would really love to birth at home, in my own surroundings. Should I keep trying to convince my husband to birth at home, or should I go along with him to keep the peace?
2006-08-21 16:27:46 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Tough call. Is this your first child? If you already have kids and know what to expect then go for the home birth. If it's your first maybe you should reconsider.......or not. For me, I was glad to be at the hospital, my first one just didn't want to come out!
2006-08-21 16:37:04 · answer #1 · answered by mom of 2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead and find a midwife. However this would be the compromize I would make with your husband.
Most hospitals now allow a midwife to be present, check with your OB and hospital first. Therefore you get the midwife and he gets the hospital setting. However, tell him that if everything goes well, then if there is a next time you would like to seriously consider a home birth.
Other options: I would also have him do some reading to help ease his concerns, provide him with the information as he won't go and get it on his own. Also have him talk to a midwife, ask him to keep an open mind, listen to what she has to say and then have him ask as many questions as he wants. Who knows maybe this will help convince him that a home birth is right for your family.
Midwives monitor you very well and if for any reason during your pregnancy they feel something is not right they do a transfer of care to an OB.
Try to understand where your husband is coming from. He wants you and the baby to have the best medical care and for both of you to be safe. Most hospitals now have very nice birthing rooms, take a tour. Also if you have to have an emergency C-Section for any reason, it can take up to a 1/2 hours to get all the players in place, even if you are in the hospital.
Remember in the end you have to do what is best for yourself and the baby.
Everyting will work itself out. Congrats!
2006-08-21 16:40:48 · answer #2 · answered by twinkletoes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just think about this...
You have your homebirth. You have your atmosphere and your peaceful environment. You begin to deliver. Then a complication arises. A complication that your midwife, your husband, your attendants and you simply can't handle.
Something goes wrong at home and the baby is injured or worse. A complication that if you were in a hospital with all the equipment, personnel and medications there your baby would be sailing through with ease or close to it. How would you feel then?
Is your comfort and surroundings really worth more than the health and well being of your baby?
I wanted a homebirth with our daughter. Towards the end of my pregnancy I started realizing that what I wanted was not as important to me as the health of our daughter. I don't fault you or anyone else who wants to have a homebirth. I just hope you think it through and realize that this may be your delivery but it is that child's birth. And that baby is the star of the show here.
There are midwives who deliver at hospitals. The hospital where we delivered was wonderful! Hardly the cold, sterile place that the hospital was when I had my older children years ago.
You can never predict what might happen during labor or delivery. As ready as you think you might be for a homebirth, your home will never be as well equipped or as well staffed as a hospital is to handle and unforeseen emergency.
2006-08-21 17:32:41 · answer #3 · answered by gonefornow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a question only you can answer, but when my son was born, I did not know what was wrong because I was hemoraging so bad, and I had cramping so bad I thought I was still in labor. I even had to get blood because of loosing so much. Then 2 days later, the hospital thought they had everything under control, and I ran such a high fever, my friends couldn't even wake me up at visiting time. Then they sent me home a few days later when I appeared to be much better, and a week after that at home, I even started hemroging again. It was so scary because I was passing blood clots the size of a baseball. They took me to the hospital in an ambulance, and prepared me for a d and c the next morning. They finally found out what caused it all...can you believe that they did not get all of the after birth out! Something like that you would never think would happen, could happen, and I was certainly glad to be in a hospital with help! I had however no problems with my other two after delivery, but you just never know! Its better to be prepared.
2006-08-21 16:46:42 · answer #4 · answered by autumn wolf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do some research on midwives and home births. The more facts you know the easier it will be to convince your husband. After all hes probably in the dark and needs a woman as his guide.
Good luck to you both!
2006-08-21 16:41:57 · answer #5 · answered by Margie B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are the one at risk if something goes wrong...
Weighing your options isn't a terrible idea and midwives if they are registered are usually RN's so if something did go wrong they could handle it until proper help arrived... there is always a risk.. either at home or in the hospital.. i agree with your husband that a quicker reponse would be immediately availible at the hospital then at home. but if you truely want to have your baby at home you can take the proper precautions to make it as safe as possible. Good luck in a happy and healthy childbirth either way!
2006-08-21 16:36:12 · answer #6 · answered by Robert H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say to try and compromise. Wait and see how your pregnancy goes. If everything goes smooth then maybe go ahead and push for the home birth but if you have some complications or worries then I would say go to the hospital. Both of you should really think about this and try to come to an agreement. I wish you both lots of luck!!! And congratulations!
2006-08-21 16:36:14 · answer #7 · answered by Ange 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a decision you should make together. However, good midwives are already practical nurses and will know when to call for medical assistance. It is not a binary situation of good medical care versus midwife; in fact, there are training courses and midwife associations.
I suggest you contact some of these associations for information to set your husband's mind at ease. He's just worried about you and your health. Once you prove to him it is safe, he'll probably see it your way.
Good luck.
2006-08-21 16:35:15 · answer #8 · answered by Maureen F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First explain to him that you are aware of his concerns. Then take him along to some meetings with the doctor, who will also be on the case. Perhaps the doctor can answer some of his anxieties and questions. Then, I bet he will come around when he learns how often this happens nowadays. Let him be an active part of this as much as you can. You have a good husband and interested father-to-be there !
2006-08-21 16:34:34 · answer #9 · answered by hopflower 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with your husband. I bled alot after having my daughter 5 months ago. I am still having troubles. Having a baby is the most wonderful thing in the world. Thank God for hospitals and epidurals! My room was very nice. Very comfortable and homey.
2006-08-21 16:37:27 · answer #10 · answered by toricp3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋