Ok well iam married and i have a baby with my husband now. But iam pregnant now with some eles baby and i want to be with both of them and i dont know who to pick the other person is an exboyfriend of mine we broke up cause he left state.. C my marriage is has been real rocky for the past 7 months and we have talked about getting a divorce. But now he knows that iam pregnant and he knows its not his but he wants me to think about staying with him.. But the other person wants me to be with him and have a family but now iam torn what should i do plz help.. Who should i pick my husband or my new babys dad?
2006-08-21 15:48:40 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well the first thing you should do is sit down and think about what is best for your children. I am a mother of 4 beautiful children that have 3 different fathers. I won't go into any details, but pick the one who will be the best father to your children. Sex, adventure, all that come and go, but a man who will be good to your children, is someone who will be good to you. My children have really paid the price because of me always wanting a man in my life who put me first. Take my advice, these two kids you have been blessed with are the only thing that really matters. They are what you will be remembered for 20 years down the road. I wish someone would have given me this advice 17 years ago.
2006-08-21 16:32:42 · answer #1 · answered by cdp1171 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You, my dear, are the perfect example of why not to cheat while you are married. This is what happens. I put some thought into this and I think the fair thing to do would be to leave your husband. Sure you are committed to him legally, he's probably more stable and you already know what kind of father he is going to be to this new baby, BUT, you left the relationship not only physically, but emotionally about seven months ago for this other guy. If you ask me, you've already made up your mind. The only problem you face now, is telling everyone. Because by leaving, you not only admit to the marriage ending, but you admit to being a homewrecker, a cheater, poor excuse of a mother, and all the other well deserved names that come along with that. I'm sorry I have no pity for you, what you did was incredibly stupid. If you husband was smart, he'd throw your butt out and keep your other child. At the rate you are carrying on, this child would be much better off!
2006-08-21 23:00:05 · answer #2 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe you been talking divorce with the arrival of the ex. this is some guy you have married that is willing to keep the marriage going despite your extra marital affair and resulting pregnancy. Many a man would have thrown you out before this. What kind of person is your ex - he comes back into town and contributes to the break down of a marriage. He is very selfish as there is not only the 2 of you but your child as well, your ex gave that no consideration and nor did you. Your ex wants you in his life well he should have thought of that before he took off and when he did come back he should have realised it was too late. There is no real answer to this but stop the me me thing that I am reading in between the lines give your husband and child some consideration as well. He deserves that much at least
2006-08-21 23:04:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to mend your marriage. Find out what the problem is and work it out. At least try to stay together for the child of your husband. Where does the boyfriend live? Is it nearby? Will the child see you everyday? Perhaps you can come up with a way that you can spend time with your husband and his child, and the boyfriend and his child. Maybe you can still have the child and spend time with him/her as a split family would. If nothing else, try to do the best for the children. I believe every child deserves a mother and a father. Try to make it happen. Best of luck to you and everyone else involved.
2006-08-22 01:03:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm surprised your first husband would even want to stay married to someone that can not wait for a divorce before jumping in the hay with another man. Relationships now days are so disposable. When you exchanged vows, it did not say " when you have issues, go screw another man" Its for better or worse isn't it? Thats why there are so many broken up families. No one knows how to say no any more. Why would you rely on internet suggestions for a decision? Sounds like you need to mature more before you ruin the life of your baby to be. I feel very sorry for the baby.
2006-08-21 22:56:17 · answer #5 · answered by Tainted_Halo 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honestly, what you should probably do is get divorced, but just stay single. You are obviously confused, and you should just take care of your children right now -- put relationships on hold. It isn't the most important thing to be married, especially considering the fact that you are not even sure who you want! I think you should step back from both men and get some perspective.
2006-08-21 23:08:10 · answer #6 · answered by ♪♫♪ La Dee Da ♪♫♪♫♪♫ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough choice.
Who do you love more?
Your husband is really sweet for asking you to stay with him despite your situation. It means he is a responsible man and he will take care of you. If you want security, stay with him. Moreover, you married the guy. You didn't say 'til divorce do us part, did you? Be responsible for your actions. Know your obligations.
2006-08-21 23:04:10 · answer #7 · answered by ladyluck 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well u were wrong for going out and cheating while your still married ...even if your marriage is rocky!!worse of all now your pregnant...your marriage if its rocky now it will be worse with your new baby...you will eventually hurt someone or rather everyone ...even your son/daughter you have from your husband cause if u go with ur ex the baby wont be with daddy like they should and if you stay with your husband it will be a reminder of your cheating ...thats terrible... your husband should realize he will have to deal with this new baby and your ex b/f..and vice versa...what a mess your in!!! good luck
2006-08-21 22:57:09 · answer #8 · answered by liltexas36 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
where is your heart at you got married cause your ex left state and then you married your husband if your ex had never came back wouldn't you be happy with your husband you need to give your marriage a try and if it doen't work out then leave but at lease you can said i tried to work it out good luck PS cause you don't want to cry over spill milk
2006-08-21 22:58:36 · answer #9 · answered by poda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont thi8nk either of them are for you,you see if you really love someone you wouldnt stray from them,your current husbund is not your soal mate it might be that your ex is and it might be worth the shot but your current is not who you should be with and next time you sdhould wait untill you have left your husbund before you go and sleep with anyone else because that just complicates your feelings more for the worst
2006-08-21 23:00:05 · answer #10 · answered by treatau 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋