When is letting go complete?

Question

Is it complete when you feel peaceful about the letting go of the thing? For me it's finally a letting go of a relationship that should have ended a while ago, but it could be a letting go of a bad habit, death of a loved one, or ultimately of our body, or anything.

Is it a true letting-go when the disappointment and the anger, pain, etc. is gone? When you can smile at the holding on and feel at peace.

thanks:)

Answer 1

The letting go is when it leaves your thinking. When it no longer surfaces in your conscious thought. I never used to quite understand that part of letting go, but when I quit drinking, over 18 years ago, I used to say I had quit drinking. Then I reached that place where you mentioned of letting go to the extent that I no longer even thought that way. Drinking and not drinking and sobriety or being smashed and all - were completely missing from my thoughts. I would say that is the point you reach when it leaves your thinking or thought that you have truly let go. The rest is the very process of letting go... of getting to that other place where you don't even think about it or remember it or reconstruct it or whatever.There is a kind of epiphany (the sudden perception of the essential nature of a thing) when you realize that whatever it is has completely and fully left your thought and consciousness. You aren't any longer referencing yourself as sober or drunk, for example. Your feelings attendant to an event that you have let go of will always be there, but you know in your heart that you have put it down and moved on and that is where the real enlightenment lies - in the truth you have within you that you now know where you're at with yourself once again about being free in your Spirit, as you were with your original mind. You also have a sense of peace knowing that at any time you could stir it all up again and even go back there if you truly wanted to, but I think, regarding your things, you will never do that, because of the pain and frustration you experienced when you moved beyond the pull it had within you. Sent to you with good energies and a prayer for your inner freedom, whatever form it may now take, I am Chris in South Portland, Maine, U.S.A. (I am 63 years old.)

Answer 2

For me - letting go means that you can wish whatever you are letting go well and are at peace that you no longer hold onto it. This includes feeling free of guilt, anger, fear, sorrow or grief from that person or thing and forgiving yourself for holding onto something that you should have let go of a long time ago. If it is letting go of a person - also would include forgiving that person and wishing them well, too.

If the mere thought of the person or object brings back pain or other emotion, then there is still something that is being held or attached to that could be looked into.

When completely free of the person or object, one would feel free, peaceful, calm, complete and happy or content.

Answer 3

Yes , I went through all the disappointment ,the anger ,pain when my husband died,it does not happen from today of tomorrow .It will take some time . But you will feel at peace and can go on wit life .
Letting go of a relationship depends on how deeply emotionally you have been involved with that special person . That also will take time to go thorough and cycle trough different stages and then you will le t go and you are ready for a new beginning again.Once you let go all the pain ,hurt ,etc will go with it .

Answer 4

I think you finally let go when the fear, sadness, anger, pain is gone. You have been through everything you possible can with the certain situation & it has ruled your heart/mind/soul long enough. Now you are done & ready to let new things into your life. You will never forget the thing that you were holding on to, but you are in a place where its no longer the ONLY thing you have.

Answer 5

what you described is a great way of explaining what letting go is. When the pain has faded to a memory, and you can look back and smile at the good things without the bad overshadowing. When you are at peace with it, as you said in your question, is when you have truly let go. The sun shines through the clouds and the darkness has faded.

Answer 6

What's ur question? I think letting go is finally complete when u can speak of the situation w/o any kind of residual feeling. And there's no blame. Much like u have stated. I feel that even if u project ur emotions on other people or things...ur still hanging on to things. This applies to anything. Hopes, dreams, emotions, relationships, etc.

Answer 7

I feel it's complete the moment you realize you must let it go, because there's nothing you, personally, can do to change the moment or the situation. It's beyond your control, such as the death or loss of a loved one or the actions of another.

I used to worry about my daughter's safety when she was driving until I'd be physically sick at my stomach. (If you knew her driving-to-accident ratio you'd understand why.) I finally realized that my worrying wasn't going to protect her, so I turned to: Let go. Let God. I knew if anybody could protect her it was Him. Now when I know she's on the road I'm able to do and concentrate on other things.

Answer 8

hhmmm...i dunno.
A very good question but real tough to answer Linty!
I'm the pathetic type so of course i never feel like i can let go, truly let go . It does come back to you in some form or another,sooner or later and all i do is kinda brush it aside so it doesn't interfere too much with my daily life. It's just me coping.
I suppose you can achieve a certain degree of peace or contentment when you do let go of some bad events in your life it's a hard enough life without carrying emotional baggages bringing ourselves down,....
But honestly, whatever hurts us, the memory lives on for quite a while. At least for me. I dunno, they say time heal all wounds.

I think ya questions are waayyy better than mine brudder!!!:-)

Answer 9

it is very important question, to be able to let go is the must important impulse, or perhaps I should say ability, I am afraid my English is not yet good enough to answer the question the way that it should be answer, but lots of people are not able to "let go" and that is a very painfully and self destructive action, if you aren't able to end a relation ship which is already on end and is also painful, and you know that , you are hearting yourself without realizing it, it has sort masochist action, it must not necessarily be a relationship that you aren't able to let go , it can be any thing, that you know it is not good for you but you cannot let it go.

Answer 10

I really have nothing to add here, Linty, since you have so many great answers already, so am only going to post a quote. :)


"He may only get to keep that which he is willing to let go of." ~Sheldon B. Kopp

I will add, that I believe letting go is the ultimate way to discovering inner peace.