Why do people assume that gay parents are irresponsible? (read details)?

Question

I was telling my father in law that I am interviewing for a babysitting job with a gay couple. (he is not the most accepting man) he automatically said I should be careful cause they are gonna stay out all night and not call. he went on and on about how irresponsible gay couples are.

I was just wondering why people have this stereotype. They seem to be very kind and responsible parents. I would have no reason to think they would stay out late and not call me.

Just curious, why do people seem to think this?

No gay bashing please...

Sparky Dog I'm a bit confused. It sounds like you are insulting me for saying no gay bashing? I was simply stating I didn't want anyone posting about how they didn't like gay people. I didn't want it to turn into that kind of question

Answer 1

There are a lot of people who have misconceptions about gay people. If they hear a story about one they assume that all gay people are the same way. The older generation especially has a difficult time tolerating the gays yet they will say they are not racist. Though gays are not a race I feel that the way people treat them should be considered racism. It's great that your thinking about babysitting for them. You'll be a better person for it...

Answer 2

I'll tackle this from a psychological perspective, sharing what I know of the research into stereotypes. The brain automatically categorizes things into schemas. These stereotypes, in order to be formed in the mind, don't necessarily have to be experienced first hand; they need only be heard once in passing. The more negative it is, the more likely it is to stick (probably a functional defense mechanism at some point). And once those stereotypes are in place, people will only notice things that inforce the stereotype. And of those things noticed, they're likely to only REMEMBER things that enforce the stereotype. They'll also often do "self-fulfilling prophecy" in that their speech and actions will provoke their expected response. If I think straight people tend to get really defensive about ...we'll say religion, but it could be anything (I'm NOT attacking religion here; not my style). If I held that belief, I might start being particularly critical of a straight person's religion, thus evoking a defensive response and proving me right (or so I would think).

The short answer of this is: Your father in law probably heard that somewhere once, and it stuck. There IS an existing stereotype that gay people party pretty hard (some read that as a positive, some negative), so I guess he might also have figured that these two people just never stopped partying. (Cause, y'know...straight people still act like they're in college once they have kids too)

Answer 3

Oh dear...your poor father seems to have replaced one stereotype for another. Do you remember a few decades back when anyone with long hair was a hippie and irresponsible. Then it was women who wanted a career who were irresponsible and so on and so forth ad infinitum. One could easily throw in colours of skin next. Your father doesn't mean any real harm; he's just spouting off at the latest insultory fad that's going around. The parents you're interviewing for are most likely very responsible and very caring to their children. Blessings on you all.

Answer 4

Lots of people think gays make bad parents for a variety of reasons. The specific stereotype of "irresponsible" might date from a while ago, back when most gays couldn't be open about their relationships, and there was the idea that all homosexuals had were one night stands. Depending how old your father is, that might be the paradigm he has regarding gay couples.

Answer 5

i think u should take the babysitting job. it would b really interesting 2 c what it's like 2 babysit 4 a gay couple. now it makes me want 2 do the same thing. but anyway, people who r like this should b more educated and kind towards GLBT people cuz they're normal human beings like us who have bills 2 pay and jobs 2 go 2. the younger generation seems kinder 2 the GLBT community than the old school generation cuz they were brough up w/Biblical and sexist lectures. i hope one day the GLBT community can be treated equally and nicely just like when black people were treated back in the day.

Answer 6

Prejudice, belief that sexual orientation represents a moral choice, and quite clearly, gay is not in your in-law's concept of morality. Basically, standard ignorance and bashing. Next time you might point out to him that most all studies on the subject show that gays and lesbians generally raise healthier, happier, more self-assured kids than hetero's. Oh, and their kids are no more often gay/lesbian than the general population of hetero family kids.

Answer 7

Your father in law sounds just a bit ignorant ,maybe he doesn't know any grown up gay people,if they have kids and they need a baby sitter chances are there doing exactly what hetro couples do when they need a baby sitter ...going out and enjoying a little time sans kids ...very little difference between hetro and homo once kids are involved ,your mostly just exhausted.

MAYBE YOU CAN ENLIGHTEN HIM !

Answer 8

some very unkind people seem to think that gays exemplify the worst excesses of our society. They find a convenient steam valve by taking a fault of their own and slapping the word gay in front of it.
the general stereotype is that gays are promiscuous, permanently unattached, and bad parents. Not true- but then, there it is.

Answer 9

because there will always be ill educated closed minded fools in the world, ignore your fathers thoughts on the matter and just do the job, besides if they do turn out to be parents that like to stay out all night youre paid by the hour so you still win!

Answer 10

I have no idea. Perhaps they don't know any gay parents personally. I find my gay friends to be wonderful parents. They provide a very nurturing and loving environment, an easy place for a child to thrive.


Blessings )O(