I've been dating my bf for 4 years now and me and his sister in law (who now lives in the same house as I do) have never gotten along. 2 years ago we had a HUGE fight and have rarely spoken since. Since then I couldn't help but to feel like I hate her and her (now) husband. I feel hatred and at the same time, intimidated by them because of this fight that we had and the way we act now. I've apologized several times to her and tried to move on but she just ignores me. I realize that they aren't terrible people and I don't want to hate them or be intimidated by them anymore. What can I do to be friendly and ok with them again? Please don't tell me to just talk to them about putting the past behind us, because everytime I do, it just starts arguments again. But I really want to stop feeling this way. What can I do?
2006-08-21 14:56:59 · 16 answers · asked by Jenn 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You have apparently done all you can do, you are the bigger of the two. All you can do now is to let it go, and forget her.Get on with it and move toward your goals in life. She will not let it go and will hold it (whatever the problem was) against you. If she knows that this is bothering you, she'll keep on making you feel guilty. Dont go another step with her, and focus on what you need to do. This place you live in, is it your place, your parents, where is it that you live? What im trying to say is get away from them and get your own place, live your life and forget all that stuff. You will be better off without all the drama you are dealing with. It'll make you feel better by getting up with others and/or focusing on another project. Good luck with what ever you do.
2006-08-21 15:22:36 · answer #1 · answered by tennman012000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A very difficult situation. Over the years I have had fights with good people and it really made me feel awful. I know the feeling. One thing I realized though, is that, you can not control other people. You sound as if you are keeping your side of the street clean so to speak. Apologizing, talking, reflecting on your part in the tragedy and basically trying to put the situation behind you. If they can not get over their resentment toward you then it shows a couple of signs mentally from them; they hang onto their resentments and do not know how to deal with them properly, or you might have done something so terrible that they will never get over it. The one thing that is important in this whole situation is keeping your side of the street clean, and if you feel that their resentments are ridiculously out of proportion then move on. It is not healthy for a kind individual to try and repair a relationship with unwilling participants. It is awful that you can not make friends but as I said earlier you can not control others, only yourself. You sound like a very nice person. I hope this helps you.
2006-08-21 15:22:25 · answer #2 · answered by Nate Barman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you said you have apologized to her so i can only assume that you have some kind of issue with this still. I would suggest seeing a councelor about this because they might be able to find the real issue of whats bugging you.
If you do have to talk to her and it does start an arguement i would suggest walking away in the middle of it. Say "i obviously cant talk to you like an adult" and leave it at that and walk away.
Im sorry, i dont know what other kind of advice i can give you except that.
Good luck.
2006-08-21 15:05:58 · answer #3 · answered by ziggunerin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would continue on doing what you would normally do everyday. Forget that anything happened and be HAPPY. Trust me that has a way of changing people. When they see that nothing is bothering you then they eventually change their attitude. Even if you have to fake it, you have to let them see that the explosion is not bothering you. All you're doing is giving them POWER, that's why you feel so intimidated by them. IGNORE and keep living without letting it creep into your head! When you stop thinking about it and focusing on it, it becomes NOTHING!
2006-08-21 15:13:19 · answer #4 · answered by Nikie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they dont want to accept your apology, nothing you can do abt it. Similar thing happened to me in the past. I was so torn and upset and it was with a very gd friend. But, after the initial hurt, I realised that it was no point begging someone for friendship, if they have refused to accept apologies. I wld suggest that u move out tho.
2006-08-21 15:09:36 · answer #5 · answered by Melissa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I do when I find myself resentful of people is to
ask God(of my understanding) to help me to let go of the past, forgive and remove the unhealthy feelings from me!!!
He GOD has never let me down yet!
I just need to do this on a daily basis sometimes with different things but I also need to let go too!Yesterday is gone,tomorrow isn't here yet, so live just for Today
(That's why they call it the Present)
Hope I helped! Peace Trish
2006-08-21 15:11:55 · answer #6 · answered by Trisha N 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you may desire to alter your view or prepare to be single for the the remainder of your existence. there is not any longer something like being a bitter in the direction of men. You even reported that your bf did no longer do something undesirable to you, so what's up with the negativity? Is it which you haven't any longer got here across all and sundry helpful considering which you and your ex broke up? i think of you may desire to take a seat and reevaluate your innovations/thoughts via fact needless to say your reasoning for the style you sense does not make experience.
2016-09-29 13:02:19 · answer #7 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been the bigger person and apologized and tried to move forward, they rejected your attempts. You have to realize that you did what you could and leave it at that. There are just some people that no matter how hard you try, you just can't be friends with them.
2006-08-21 15:04:33 · answer #8 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DUH.........Did it ever occur to you to MOVE OUT!!!! Why are you living there if they hate you??? What is the matter with all of you people living in the same house?? Sounds like you need your own place. I cannot believe that your boyfriend would put up with this. For Gods sakes, it was not 2 days ago.....it was 2 years ago........what is the matter with you, sweetie????? You need more help than anyone on Yahoo can give you....... DUH!!!
2006-08-21 15:06:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to save up some money and move out. If they are going to be nice to you, it will take time, and approaching them about it probably won't help. Wait another 5 yrs.
2006-08-21 15:04:44 · answer #10 · answered by mollyneville 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋