My wife and I were married two months ago. I invited my brother's girlfriend (they were dating two years) and her parents to our wedding. The night before the wedding, she broke up with him. On the wedding day, neither her nor her parents showed up (we paid for three very expensive plates). They never called us to explain why they couldn't make it. In two months, they have not sent a gift (nor will they at this point).
We also found out that my brother had his ex over the house the day after the wedding. Also, he has been seeing her and hasn't said anything to us about it. She was over my mom's and mentioned how she would attend my cousin's wedding in November.
My wife and I are very upset about this. I love my brother, but how can he continue to be with someone who insulted us and our family? We want nothing to do with him as long as he's with this woman. We also think he's spending all his $ on her- he gave us a wedding gift, bounced the check & never sent another one.
2006-08-21 14:24:18 · 11 answers · asked by NYC13 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
There is not much that you can do with your brother's current girlfriend situation,it sounds like you have a very strong disliking for her.However, I do agree with your first complaint,the ex- girlfriend and family showed very poor taste by not showing up for the wedding sans the gift. Weddings are very expensive and the planning alone takes a lot of time and money. It sounds like you come from a very traditional family but unfortnately as you have sadly seen,there are others in the world who do not hold the same values.
2006-08-21 15:05:16 · answer #1 · answered by T.Mack 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I am hoping that I am reading too much into this since I get the sense that you are more worried about the gifts,bounced checks, expensive plates and such. So putting that aside. Your wife and you married because you are in love and that day was for you and her not for the family and not so that someone could or couldnt attend. Dont spend so much time worrying about this or you will turn the day of your wedding into something that will haunt you the rest of your life. So what she didnt come, did the wedding get stopped because of it? Did all of a sudden you and your wife become less important to each other? Of course not. Yes I think that it was in bad taste for her not to at least call and explain why she and her parents werent attending but you cannot change what happened. All you can do it move on with your wife and make a good life. As far as your brother if he is of age then there is not alot that you can do for him. Some people have to get their hearts broke before they can see that they deserve more. I am sure that before your wife there was a woman that did you wrong that helped you see that you deserved someone that loved you completely and you found her in your wife. Your brother has got to learn this life lesson. Remember the more you push him towards (or away) from something the more he is going to hold on to it. Let him be and let him learn (unfortunately) the hard way that sometimes who you think is the one really isnt. It is a hard lesson and I am sure that he will need you when this happens so be a brother and be there for him. THat is all you can do.
As far as your wedding day goes... If the only thing that went wrong was 3 people not showing up then you and your wife sure had a wonderful wedding didnt you? Besides if your brother and her broke up the day before the wedding who knows what would have happened at the wedding if she had shown up. Things could have been worse.
2006-08-21 14:38:33 · answer #2 · answered by lvb524 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the family and her were left in an awkward position..I would not have attended the wedding either if He had just broke up with me ..he is your brother and they are her family they stayed with her and prevented an argument.You seemed to be greedy and want only the money get over it already and for give them it was a rough time. Sorry it was your wedding day but chit happens they can't plan their disagreements around every one El's.
2006-08-21 14:35:38 · answer #3 · answered by vtlovie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all you keep mentioning the gifts.WHY?people do not go to weddings to you receive a gift they go to join in on your special day of joining your life with another.second it is done and over with as far as you spending the money on the expensive dinner so with that i would move on.now as far as your brother back with her i would let him know how you feel. family should always try and work things out because you never know what happens tomarrow and they should never be any regrets.unfortunatly we cant pick our in-laws and everybody makes mistakes and maybe he hasnt told you about her because he knows how upset you are about the situation of the wedding.hes your brother you need to love him for better or worse also.
2006-08-21 14:40:29 · answer #4 · answered by nvvlewis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have assumed if I were her or her parents we would no longer be welcomed after the split.
And since you don't know why the split occurred(did not say) don't assume it is something that cant be fixed between the two of them.
As far as the gift and expense of dinner,You should have expected some no shows.It was your wedding not theirs.If that is the only thing that went wrong,you should be glad it was not something major.
AS LONG AS YOU ARE HAPPILY MARRIED,Get over it...
2006-08-21 14:48:23 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who cares about the presents. People fight, people break up and people get back together. I think you should forget the whole thing and concentrate on being a newlywed. Family is family and you should not hold who your brother loves against him. By you moving on and forgetting it all, you will be the better person. Give it a try.
2006-08-21 14:55:25 · answer #6 · answered by Riss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Accept that your brother is a jerk and let him live in his on little fantasy world. I've done that with my sister in law for 18 years. I haven't had any contact with her...not that either of us care. And now her adult kids don't even talk to her. Some people are just born to be wack jobs
2006-08-21 14:41:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
love your brother as for the woman she is only temporary trust me
2006-08-21 14:39:04 · answer #8 · answered by longfellow j 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
that was very insensitive of him, i guess u should talk to him and try to work things out
2006-08-21 14:33:02 · answer #9 · answered by sar-mir 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
thats very rude i'd totally kick that ho's @ss!!
2006-08-21 14:39:00 · answer #10 · answered by encantame. 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋