i've never cheated on my gf, after 15 years of being together, how can i make her beleive me? i really need help on this one,befor i go oj on her *** from accusing me every day please help me?
2006-08-21 13:45:14 · 17 answers · asked by rpoker 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Usually, the one accusing is the one cheating. If she hasn't believed you in 15yrs, she certainly won't ever believe you. The question you need to ask yourself is how much longer are you willing to be accused if you haven't.
And what if you were to lie and say "Ok, I cheated." Would she leave? Perhaps she WANTS a reason to leave.
Give her one.
Most likely, SHE is the one cheating and she feels guilty, so she blames YOU to make herself feel better.
2006-08-21 13:53:49 · answer #1 · answered by moniquebell 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well first of all, why does she think you cheat? Can you give some more details? Are you open with her about everything or are you one of those guys who has the attitude that "what she doesn't know won't hurt her" and are close-lipped about where you go, who you're with etc.
Odds are she's just breaking your b*lls to try and see if you'll slip up. If she honestly believed you cheated, she'd probably have left you a long time ago.
15 years is a really long time to be with someone without getting married. Maybe that's why she thinks you cheat - because you haven't formally committed. Just something to think about.
2006-08-21 21:02:22 · answer #2 · answered by sweets 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she is insecure about you. Perhaps some distrust happened at some point. There is nothing you can say other than a calm, honest "I never cheated on you." From there, the accusations will continue, and all you can do is try to build trust.
If you go nuts about this, she'll think you are being defensive and that will confirm her beliefs.
2006-08-21 20:55:26 · answer #3 · answered by Rich 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you have been together 15 yrs and she still dont trust you then it looks like you have a problem on your hands. she should know you well enough to know you are not cheating. has she always been that way, if so, how have you been able to listen to that crap for so long? maybe she is accusing you because she is cheating and thinks that since she does you do too. to make her stop, maybe one day you should switch it around on her and when she tells you that you have been cheating say, no, i think you are cheating. then maybe she will stop.
2006-08-21 21:15:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rock and a hard place.
She feels insecure for some reason. Maybe it's because after 15 yrs. she is still your "girlfriend".
Then again, who would want to propose to someone that is always accusing them of cheating?
You have to figure out of the insecurity is inside her or if you/your relationship is creating it.
If you love her you wouldn't want her to feel this pain and you would help her solve it either way.
2006-08-21 21:09:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The sad truth is that it is she that needs the help. My gf and I came very close to a break up over the same issue. You can never make her trust you. She must decide and learn to trust. It is most likely without some help this cycle will continue to occur. You could try couples therapy and focus on that issue,a good shrink would probably want to see her separately.
2006-08-23 00:52:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you're being completely honest and haven't done anything then maybe she's feeling a little guilty. If you threaten to leave because she cant stop accusing you and she doesn't take the hint to cool off then she's pushing you out for a reason that youre not seeing. Leave. If she's not doing anything and is just insecure then she'll ease up and hopefully talk to you about it.
2006-08-21 21:11:04 · answer #7 · answered by Nikie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't have trust in a relationship, what do you have? 15 years is a lot of your life to throw away and get accused on a daily basis of cheating. Are you going to give it anymore of your life, or finally let it go, and give yourself the chance to be with someone who trusts you?
2006-08-21 21:11:13 · answer #8 · answered by Carey L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm just being honest, you relationship won't last with her being that insecure. You have to sit her down and tell her to quit it or go to couple counseling or end it. Otherwise you two aren't going to be very happy with you worrying about what your doing wrong all the time and her coming after you.
Why did you two never get married??? And do you know why she thinks all this in the first place??
2006-08-21 21:04:20 · answer #9 · answered by BlondieJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like shes cheating on you. Whenever people accuse others of something they usually are the guilty ones.
2006-08-21 21:16:46 · answer #10 · answered by Having Fun 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋