I have loved in my life and found it to be too painful to try again and find someone new. The trust factor is huge. I have been let down by all the men in my life, father, brothers, boyfriends, boss and male friends. I find it hard to trust completely. If they need me I am there but when I need them uhhhhhh .......busy!
2006-08-21 13:18:23 · 20 answers · asked by littleflower 3 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
I think it is, but if you've been there and done that, I'm not sure it has to be a continuing saga. Just an important part of the rich tapestry of experience. If you feel no hole in your life without it, press on!
2006-08-21 13:27:58 · answer #1 · answered by Arrow 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can identify, having been there myself. Fortunately though, never experienced a complete let down by EVERY man in my life. I don't doubt you feeling that way, but maybe you could revisit your expectations to see if it's possible you're asking a lot. Also- it sucks, but the only way you learn to trust is by trusting. I realize this answer isn't going to win me any points, but it's just what I've experienced and what worked. Now- the love issue. Yes- you need love. You both need to feel like you can give it and can receive it, and unfortunately again, it's related to trust. To trusting yourself and to trusting others. The good part, is there are degrees and types of love. Consider a relationship with a male friend in which you have no expectations except to just enjoy each others company when available. You may be pleasantly surprised! Also- stay away from women who would only male bash- it just leads to like feelings. You need friends with positive views of males so they can help foster the recognition of those positive attributes with the males in your life.
I'm sorry for your experiences, but nothing is permanent! Things can and will turn around.
2006-08-21 13:50:15 · answer #2 · answered by diasporas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe love is essential but what type?! The love of a good friend or a mom or boyfriend or boss (You've loved a boss? INTERESTING). There are different relationships we have and thus different loves. But I feel your pain. That's such a loaded question. But my motto in life is that we live to learn yet you gotta live for the moment. If you find love go with it, sometimes it hurts later if you lose it but then, you would never know what love feels like, is that better or better to never have felt it?! Maybe if you are enjoying life in the mist of not having "LOVE" then that may be all that matters FOR YOU.
2006-08-21 13:50:27 · answer #3 · answered by Bonita Baum 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is one person, and one person only, in the world that you can completely trust...that is yourself.
Trusting anyone else "completely" is folly. You should NEVER share a secret that you can't bear to have get out. You should never trust someone so much that it damages you.
There is nothing wrong with trusting, and nothing wrong with loving. However, both need to be tempered by the realization that people are, afterall...just people. They can be hurtful, and say things they shouldn't. It doesn't mean you can't trust at all or you can't love at all..you just need to not give it all away.
Save something back for yourself. It isn't necessary to tell everything or dedicate every bit of your soul to loving someone else. Love yourself completely...trust yourself completely. With everyone else...be a little reserved.
2006-08-21 15:19:45 · answer #4 · answered by Kaia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you finally meet someone who feels love is essential for them to lead a fulfilled life,and their own idea of love is based on trust, than maybe you will be able to overcome the past pain. If you harden your heart and mind you will never know the joy and warmth that love can bring, not only with another person, but the very love of life itself.
2006-08-21 13:42:11 · answer #5 · answered by laughsall 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think so was married for 32 years, and the trust went away 12 years ago along with the love that went away 30 years ago. I would love to know what love feels like again and the trust and all the good stuff that comes with being in love.....
2006-08-21 13:26:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well there is one you haven't trusted I guess. You Father in Heaven it sounds like. He does not let people down as long as they don't let him down. Love is a two way stree but always use Agape Love. Unconditional Love. That is what God uses. No matter what. He will love you no matter what. He wants you to live to your fullest potential.You can reach him through his son Called Jesus. Pick up the prayer line ( thats your hands) and call out to him. He'll be right there. For sure! Ask and you will receive if you believe in him that sent him.
2006-08-21 15:39:23 · answer #7 · answered by Michael JENKINS 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very simply, YES love is essential for a fulfilled life. That is scientifically proven. It is a basic need.
However, I'm not sure the kind love you are talking about is essential. Plenty of people go without it by choice.
I myself can relate to your pain and disappointment and am tempted to give up myself at times....but I hope this is how it has to be for now...that lessons need to be learned first...that I'm not ready yet...and when I am, it will happen.
2006-08-21 13:51:32 · answer #8 · answered by sofun 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you are wrong.
the ONLY important thing that not trusting is going to do is give you more reasons to not trust people.
trust damnit! and stop being so dramatic. life isnt fun when its a bunch of dramatic crap.
just real quick, without a whole lot of thinking... id say that love is a byproduct of a fullfiled life.
2006-08-21 14:26:42 · answer #9 · answered by sean_mchugh6 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To feel unconditional love is essential for a happy fulfilled life.
Unconditional means without asking anything in return.
If you can find it in your heart to let go of expectations, of neediness, of grasping, of envy, jealousy you will feel so much lighter. Apply those high standards you expect of others to your own conduct and you will never need to regret anything.
2006-08-21 13:32:30 · answer #10 · answered by flugelberry 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋