My husband and I have been having problems and we have only been married for six months before he left. We hurt eachother with words to the point that I thought we wouldn't resolve our problems. I had slept with someone from my past that even til this day have a piece of my heart(my first). Yet when i slept with him it was a day before my husband and I decided to go see a shrink. I was still hurt and I really didn't know if I really wanted my husband back. In the event my husband did ask me if I have been with someone else of course I denied it. We were going to the shrink and we were happy again so I didn't want to change anything. Well he read my diary and like a nut I wrote it down. He is hurt which I don't blame him but at the sametime he got what he deserve for reading my diary. All in all I miss my husband and time away from him has made me realize our relationship wasn't bad. We are young and first marriage for both. Should I let go or try ?
2006-08-21 13:16:17 · 13 answers · asked by mslady 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you are both young and should probably try to resolve your issues. sounds like a little couseling is a good thing. as for cheating.. if you guys were on a break (like the show Friends) he really cant be mad at you even if it does hurt a little. you didnt break your vows if you were seperated.
as for reading your diary... he shouldnt be snooping.. thats violating your privacy and he is suppose to be trusting you. did you ask him why he felt the need to snoop? the relationship is only going to work if he can accept your apology and move forward. there also has to be trust which he seems to be having a problem with. Good luck to you both. i wish you the best ..
2006-08-21 14:19:55 · answer #1 · answered by sylonthego 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you really love him then don't let go of your marriage! When two people love each other they have nothing to hide, not even a diary. Your affair was wrong, but it is in the past learn from this mistake and never let it happen again no matter who you are with. Trust is something that is ALMOST impossible to regain, but it can be rebuilt. This means you will never have ANYTHING to hide from your husband and will for a while at least, have to let him know where and with who you are at all times (been there, well worth the trouble). Good luck with your marriage, hope it works out like mine did!
2006-08-21 20:33:36 · answer #2 · answered by Archangel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When cheating comes in any form it is very hurtful and it can take along time for the hurt to get better.You should have told him the truth when he asked you because now he probably thinks of you as a cheat and a liar.Explain everything to him and step back and let him deal with everything and if he decides to forgive you and come back to you then he will.I can imagine how hurt he is and it will not be easy on him to decide what he wants to do.He should not have read your diary but maybe you should have kept it where he could not have found it.He invaded your privacy by reading it and in the process found out something very hurtful.Maybe he was more hurt by you lieing about it then he was about you sleeping with someone else.I think seeing a relationship councler will be good for the both of you.
2006-08-21 20:31:47 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first of all i dont believe you really love him yes i know we all make mistakes but if you love someone how can you have sex with someone else i never understood that.i would never do that to my husband and he wouldnt to me.i guess if he forgives you you can try to make it work but it will be held over your head for life now.things like cheating dont just happen it happened becuase you let it happen and now youve ruined something that might have been fixable and you saying he deserves to know the truth because he read your diary is reticulous you should have been up front and honest with him especially if you were going to counsiling to make the relationship work.i personally get what u deserve im really not trying to be mean but i was cheated on by my first husband many times and it hurts really bad
2006-08-21 20:28:32 · answer #4 · answered by nvvlewis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You broke your vows and now your trust worthiness is in question. Trust is something not easily regained. Sounds to me like you need profesisonal counseling, dear, as if you have only been married six months and are having these types of problems, I see a rocky road ahead for both of you. Get counseling.
2006-08-21 20:23:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could try, and hopefully rebuild trust,but in his place, I'd dump ya, honey. You betrayed a trust -- a marriage vow, then you were dumb as a sack of rocks and wrote it all down....Duhhhhhh.
2006-08-21 20:24:27 · answer #6 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get the opportunity to work it out. If he is willing then you can explain all of this. But you need to admit your fault.
Good Luck to You and God Bless!!
2006-08-21 20:28:17 · answer #7 · answered by msqtech 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is never easy is it? Try is good, maybe in the years to come you will for get this!
2006-08-21 20:26:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you cheated most men just arent gonna forgive
2006-08-21 20:24:16 · answer #9 · answered by deno112 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to ask him if he wants to work it out, tell him choices must be made
2006-08-21 20:29:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋