I have been with the same guy for six years. We bought a house together six months ago but now he is telling me that he does not want to be together right now. He says that he needs a time out to have fun with his friends and not worry about when he is going to be home etc. We have never had problems like this so I do not know what to do? I think part of it may be because it is about time for us to move to the next step in our lives and get married. Please help!
2006-08-21 12:15:52 · 13 answers · asked by Firemans_Girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You know the saying "if you love him let him go" -- it applies here. Let him go no matter how hard it hurts you. Don't totally disappear. Make sure he can find you but try to leave him alone. Just say "okay" and no more. Walk away. I think he will be changing his tune once he is out there and finds out what it's like. It really is kind of nice to have someone worry about you sometimes. Yet, at the same time, we all need our space too.
2006-08-21 12:22:47 · answer #1 · answered by butterfliesRfree 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't push him. It sounds like he's either afraid of the marriage commitment or he's having second thoughts. Let him sort through his feelings, as if it is just a little fear, he'll get through it and figure out your what he really wants. If it's that he isn't ready for marriage at all, it's best you find it out now instead of weeks, months or a year down the road and you have to go through court, money and the heartbreak then. You both hopefully have discussed money isssues, family, and night outs without the other half, and what being married means in general, right? If not you need to sit him down and tell him you aren't planning on tieing him up and keeping him from a sports night, cards, or whatever. DON'T OVER DO IT THOUGH. BE FAIR ON BOTH SIDES OF THE FENCE.
2006-08-21 19:34:33 · answer #2 · answered by roncarolhillsstupid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he shouldv'e thought it over before committing himself. After all, he did just that when buying a home with you. If you have any equity in the home, sell it, give him his share and move on. If you live with a man, he should be HOME at night, NOT with his friends unless they are mutual friends and you are there as well. Six is a bad # for him. Its also a very long time invested. Maybe you can have a friend move in and share the cost for a while instead of moving right away. YOU should have fun in YOUR house with YOUR friends!! Let him move out and raise your credit score a little while you have fun. After all, "you snooze, you lose" right?? Good luck!
2006-08-21 19:30:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your guy just got a big dose of reality. Buying a house is followed by marriage and kids. For a guy who isn't ready, it's a scary thing. You feel it's time to get married, but he may not. It sounds as though he's trying recapture the bachelor days that didn't have responsibility to another person. You should have a heart-to-heart with you boyfriend to find out what he really fears. If he needs time, give him time. BUT, take time yourself. Keep your options open, I promise you if that's what he chooses, he will be looking too. Don't wait on him to come back, or he will take you for granted. Guys want what they can't have. To have a woman to can be walked on (if you were to sit around and wait while he parties), he will only take you for granted.
2006-08-21 19:27:21 · answer #4 · answered by Angel Baby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure how you make his statement that he needs time to have fun with his friends and not worry about when he's going to be home into the idea that it's about time to get married. That sounds like the LAST thing he wants to do! Is he acting like you want a husband to act? Listen to the warning bells, girl!! You can't make him marry you. The best you can do is let him have his freedom, and if he really loves you and misses you, then he'll come back.
2006-08-21 19:24:13 · answer #5 · answered by Bad Kitty! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's just realised that once he gets married he will not be able to get intimate with anyone he wants to it will only be you for the rest of his life and he's scared.
He wants time to go out and spend the night with other women without having to worry about you finding out. If he's single he can sleep where he wants and with who he wants.
This man is not ready for a committed relationship let alone marriage, he is still too immature for marriage you may be best moving on
2006-08-21 19:27:14 · answer #6 · answered by madamspud169 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there's nothing you can do. sometimes people think they want to be with someone "forever", but when it comes down to doing something (like buying a house) that is a step closer to "forever", they realize it wasn't what they wanted. I did the same thing once. I bought a house with my long time boyfriend and then backed out 6 months later. after buying the house and living together, i decided that he wasn't the one for me.
2006-08-21 19:25:15 · answer #7 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is so lying to you. He is bailing out and your missing all the signals. He doesn't want to worry about when he gets home because he has someone else on his mind.
Better open your eyes and wake up right now.
2006-08-21 19:23:36 · answer #8 · answered by happydawg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not going to work move on find someone who cares for you and have some fun in your life not wait on this numb scull.
2006-08-21 19:25:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No i don't think so. i think your man is not ready to settle down. honestly, I'm sorry its the truth. its like that saying: "if you love some one, you gotta let them go. if they come back their yours." i know its gonna hurt but you cant hold someone back. trust me i learn this too, and guess what? they came back!!!! and he realized I'm the one. your time apart will help him realize if he really loves and needs you by his side.
good luck and god bless!!!!
2006-08-21 19:28:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋