the abuse happened like 25 yrs ago,but has affected every relationship since then?(including choice of profession,eg.call girl / rent boy / drug dealer...).What if it's a very painful and wasting illness with death as the inevitable outcome...should you consider 4giveness or prosecute an elderly,dying man?what would influence your views? Would it have any bearing on your decision to know this ficticional girl's mom was abused by the same man when she was a similar age?
2006-08-21 12:15:16 · 9 answers · asked by BellaDonna 5 in Health ➔ Women's Health
Forgiveness is not for them. It's for you.
It's letting go of the bitterness and hurt that is eating you alive. It's canceling that debt they owe you so you're not waiting your whole life to be repaid (which is not possible).
The idea of forgiveness has been so twisted. It's NOT letting them get away with it, it's NOT saying what they did was ok or that you now want anything to do with them.
It's for you. It's all about you. It doesn't matter what they did, it doesn't matter how much they are hurting right now or if they're living the high life - it's about whether you're willing to let go of it, admit to yourself how much it hurt and how much you were betrayed, and move on. Moving on also doesn't mean that it wasn't really that bad... it just is a refusal, after dealing with the pain it caused, to dwell forever in the effects of their actions.
2006-08-21 13:22:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm so very sorry which you had to go through the ills of this guy or woman. I do understand your project, as like alot of others, I too suffered an identical formative years destiny, as did all of my siblings. that's a tricky emotional project that's difficult to technique, fairly as a new child. Their is concern, anger, hate, guilt, frustration and mistrust that should be worked by using. the main important question to be spoke back is how somebody which you're think to love and have confidence, can violate you and rob you of your happiness. i found that i could no longer answer those questions approximately my very own, and sought expert counseling to help me artwork by using this emotional bags. Unfortunetly, I waited approximately 35 years too long in the previous receiving counseling, yet i'm nonetheless grateful that I did ask for help, so please, do your self a choose and "do" seek for counseling from a expert who deals with those style of circumstances. i could propose additionally, that as painful as that's, i could make a written checklist of what befell and in case you do no longer prefer to share it with kinfolk at this factor, placed it in a secure place for now. i could assume, as with maximum abusers, that if this guy or woman did some thing to you, he additionally has different sufferers obtainable besides who would be dealing with an emotional curler coaster besides. it's time to take returned your existence and not enable this guy or woman to hold ability over your thoughts anymore. God bless you and please seek for counseling. You need to start healing and to stay a happy existence.
2016-11-05 08:24:03 · answer #2 · answered by sikorski 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what you need to do. I wouldn't forgive the SOB. I'd keep hoping he burns in h___. And it would make me more furious to know he'd abused the girl's mom. There is help for the abused. They can become healthy, functional people. It does take a lot of work.
2006-08-21 12:38:35 · answer #3 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As hard as it may be forgiveness is a must. It will help you put the past in the past. Forgiving does not mean the abuse was O.K.
2006-08-21 12:24:11 · answer #4 · answered by delorisjp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This person is going to BURN when he dies so do not worry he will get what he deserves. It may help you though to forgive him. Everytime in my life I have gotten to the point I could forgive someone for their crime against me it was like a giant weight was lifted.
2006-08-21 12:49:37 · answer #5 · answered by Nicolleta 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to follow your heart to make this decision. If it was me I would try to forgive him for what he has done, but that doesnt mean you will ever forget it. What he did was abominable, there is no excuse for what he did, but you will never be able to move on if you dont reach closure... So do what your heart tells you to do in order to move on...
2006-08-21 13:23:12 · answer #6 · answered by BooBoo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends on the person.. I wouldn't forgive them untill you feel that you are ready to forgive them. Even if that means they are going to die.. If you are really haveing problems with this you should seek some help..
2006-08-21 12:41:35 · answer #7 · answered by Melinda T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should only forgive when your heart and mind is ready to let it go.
2006-08-21 12:23:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont let them get away with it
2006-08-21 12:23:10 · answer #9 · answered by deno112 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋