2006-08-21 11:43:46 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Do you yell at her?
2006-08-21 11:54:01 · answer #1 · answered by Angela 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Because most kids see mom as the weak one and dad as the strong one. Do you often tell her things that you don't do? Such as 'you do that again and no TV', and then she does it and you let her watch TV. Or do you 'ground' her for a week, but then feel sorry for her and unground her the next day? All this and more makes you look like the weak parent. Dad, most likely, does exactly what he says he will.....
And too, you most likely take care of your daughter all day and night...she only get to see dad for a couple hours a day. so when she sees him she is in awe, and naturally does what he says.....she wants to be a good girl for daddy (mom does not count in this case as she is there all the time).
2006-08-21 11:58:47 · answer #2 · answered by null_the_living_darkness 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's what five-year-old daughters do -- Daddy is the center of the universe, for a while. Yeah, it sucks to be mom a lot of the time.
I have two daughters, now 15 and 18. When my oldest was three or four, she declared, "Daddy, you're my best boy." The memory of that helped keep me from killing her when she was 14 and being unspeakably miserable to everyone, including me. Now I'm really glad I didn't, not only because it kept me out of prison, but because she's become a wonderful, responsible young adult, and I'm very proud of her.
But back to your question... To some extent, what you have to do is just suck it up and try not to hate her, little girls are supposed to be nuts about their dads, it's a normal developmental phase they go through. Keep a reasonable, open dialog with her; find something you both like to do and get involved with that, whether it's drawing or playing board games or whatever.
The other thing is to have a reasonable, open dialog with her dad (note: I'm assuming that you're both her biological parents because you call her "my daughter" and refer to "her dad") about what you want for your daughter. You can use his influence with your daughter to help set up the kind of relationship that will be most beneficial for her. Because she does listen to him, use that knowledge and have him shape her behavior the way you want it. And you can also ask him to help work with your daughter on listening to you, as well.
If you're together, this is relatively easy because you have the opportunity to present a united front for your daughter. And don't take it out on him for being the one she listens to; it really isn't something he's doing to annoy you, it's the way little girls work. Point out to him the close relationship you've seen between them and ask if he can help you out a little.
If you're separated or divorced, it takes an extra dose of planning (and maybe even a little negotiation) to make sure you and he are in sync regarding your daughter. But it's still critical for his daughter to have a working relationship with you -- and he can help with that, whatever your relationship with him is.
And one other thing -- if you ARE separated/divorced, NEVER bad-mouth her father in front of your daughter. Right now she's DEVOTED to her dad, and if you say anything negative about him it'll make YOU look like the badguy. (Review, oh, pretty much any Disney movie except maybe "The Lion King" for an example of this -- "The Little Mermaid" is a good one. Saying bad things about her dad puts you in the role of Ursula the Sea Witch.)
2006-08-21 12:31:25 · answer #3 · answered by Scott F 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well see when i was younger it was the opposite the reason... my dad never followed through i could say whatever i wanted to him and he wouldn't care but my mom... she didnt play i had respect for her. she is probably in the same situation you need to be more firm show her your serious and dont let her know that you notice it she'll enjoy the attention and play mind games
2006-08-21 12:00:41 · answer #4 · answered by lhsdancehayla 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is he the only one who disciplines her? when she doesn't listen, put her in time out and stand your ground. then reward her when she does something good. eventually she will listen to you too
2006-08-21 11:52:41 · answer #5 · answered by renee1724 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He probably has a better relationship with her. Try spending more time with her and try to clue in on how he disciplines her.
2006-08-21 11:59:03 · answer #6 · answered by jeneration Y 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its a man thing he sounds like he means what he say its the tone.you still need to find away to control
2006-08-21 11:59:40 · answer #7 · answered by infoman89032 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We teach people how to treat us. Notice how he teaches her and then compare to the way you teach her.
2006-08-21 12:12:07 · answer #8 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋