Should I become more of what in my eyes is shallow and uncaring to fit in with people and have a more active socail life?... Is having more fun worth losing my beleifs and opinions? and just because family and freinds don't care about these things should i not as well?
I may have made my mind up on this already but i wondered wat other thought, happy answering!
2006-08-21 11:42:48 · 51 answers · asked by andrew h 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
In my opinion, being true to my beliefs is important, but it's not everything. What good is it if you're all alone all the time? I wouldn't change drastically, but try to be a little flexible and get to know other people. Mingle and make a little small talk--you might meet someone with similar beliefs as you, and wouldn't that be wonderful!!!
2006-08-21 11:50:38 · answer #1 · answered by TigerLilly 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I can see your answer by the way you worded your questions - at least I think I can!
But I'll add my thoughts anyway.
It's so tempting just to want to fit in with everyone else without having to worry about anything, but I don't think you can do it under the circumstances you describe. You're not saying you want to better yourself, you're saying you might have to become "shallow." That alone tells me you'll go nuts inside, raging against it, if you choose to go that route. Even if you manage to bury your finer sensibilities, you'll look back later on and regret having let it all change you in ways that really didn't do you any good.
If you can find a way to be true to yourself AND surround yourself with people who appreciate that - therein comes your social life.
And remember, one true friend IS better than a bunch of acquaintances, even if you feel lonely at other times. Who's gonna be there for you when you really need someone, you know?
Stick it out - each year brings something new and different.
2006-08-21 13:06:41 · answer #2 · answered by Suzy1B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh come on, get real. Of course you have to become more like others to live in society, but that does not mean you have to become shallow and uncaring. You must drive just like others to fit in to the safety rules of the road. That does not mean you can't decorate your car how you want, but it must have seat belts and lights, etc... No one of value would ever make you change your beliefs and opinions to have a social life.
If you believe that you look good in goth and you try to go to the country club your looks may be shunned, but that does not mean you must change your beliefs. You simply will not fit with the beliefs of that particular group. Just as if you are a fanatical terrorist Muslim don't try to go to the evangelical Christian church down the street and make this the base of your bomb making operations. It probably won't work.
I have over 30 years experience in theatre. I don't choose to associate with children's theatre. I don't denigrate them, I just am at a different place in my life than the people with the patience to work with the little kids.
Simply because I wear a tie at a funeral does not mean I have abandoned my vow to wear no tie. It means I am respecting anothers view as well as my own. Don't fall into the trap of only believing only your view has value. Just because some value the country club does not mean they are less than you or do not feel the same way.
2006-08-21 12:02:40 · answer #3 · answered by DMR 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK OK but just remember "that no man is an island"......
It's very easy to stop the random interactions with other human beings but perhaps, not so easy to start them again.
Human beings ARE trivial. But how many people do you think have had to confront this dilemma every day of their life?
If you don't feel sociable, then there is no point in trying because people will realise you are being fake. And like you said , you have already made up your mind but I'm curious why you should then be asking the opinion of OTHER PEOPLE?
I know it's easier sometimes to interact with people when you don't know them, and it's all done through the safety of a computer. But please don't give up the social interaction completely. You will regret it.
2006-08-21 11:56:25 · answer #4 · answered by Not Ecky Boy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi, This is a really hard one because essentially who you are is defined by your relationships with others and the world. Also, our tastes and preferences serve as a means to connect with others. So, it's not only normal, but healthy for your tastes to change as you start to associate with a new group of people. Otherwise you would be attempting to maintain your connections to the old group, which would probably be anti-social to the new one.
Now, what do you mean when you say more active social life? Do you mean associate with a group that is higher on the social food chain? If so, the answer would be yes.
But, I would say I try to have friends that help me to become better than I am and vice-versa. If these are people whom like to push others down so that they can feel big, rather than actually growing themselves, then chances are they will do the same to you.
So if this makes sense: Pushing others down makes you feel big, but in order to be big you have to actually grow. And to do this, you need to have friends that feed you.
I hope this is helpful.
Peace,
-Eric
2006-08-21 12:22:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hallo there
No, no and once again no - you are yourself, a unique individual as we all are!
Please, value yourself for what you are and you will eventually find like minds. It may well not happen quickly - but the wait will be worth it in gold.
I speak from harsh personal experience - I spent many of the earlier years of my life trying to "fit in" and ended up very, very depressed as a result. I now have far fewer "friends" than I once did - but I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that they are real ones.
Good luck, Andrew.
2006-08-25 10:19:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have read your other respondents answers. Are you sure that you are not blaming your inability to socialise with friends/family on being cursed with high born principles. You imply that you are having fun but, somehow, at the expense of your principles. You sound a pretty lonely, introverted sort of person, who thinks that he doesn't fit in. Are you depressed? or are you a fish out of water? You are what you are, you cannot choose to be something that you are not. Your question is very generalised, you have a problem that you are trying to come to terms with, but don't feel able to share the detail with others, not even strangers.
2006-08-23 11:47:05 · answer #7 · answered by Veritas 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to weigh the odds . What is the value of what your giving up compared to the value of what you are receiving. Keep an open mind and see what the long term benefits are. I worked with a friend of mine that spoke his mind on everything that went on in the business whether it had anything to do with him or not. I worked as a team player and compromised. Hes has quit or been fired a dozen times, I own the company.
2006-08-21 12:44:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont drop your values for anyone. Keep your views and do not fit in. We need more real stand up people to make a difference in this world and not blend in with the wall paper. Stand out be individual in your clothes and your religious views and political views. It will attract some and will pull others towards you because you stand out in the crowd. I like your question. Good Going
2006-08-21 11:56:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You call your freinds shallow and uncaring yet you are considering whether to be like them??? I think not young man.
You are a person in your own right. You should be able to show this to everyone and if they don't like it, it is their problem.
Find a different circle of people who you feel more comfortable with and who see you for who you are and not what they want you to be!!
2006-08-21 11:51:42 · answer #10 · answered by Gillipoos 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋