My sons father used to beat me up alot. I have had a protective order in place for 2years, and now it is up. I don't know how to face him without being scared. I know I could never go back ( and I don't want to ) but I would like to be his friend for my sons sake.
How do I do that?
2006-08-21 10:56:17 · 5 answers · asked by JERSEY 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Does he have visitation rights? Has he changed in the last two years? Do you think you need to protect your son from him?
If contact in necessary, make sure it is in a public place. Abusers are less likely to hit in public.
2006-08-21 11:05:42 · answer #1 · answered by Gypsy Girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You DON'T! Unless you know for a fact that he has attended and is still attending anger management and a psychiatrist - STAY AWAY from this man!!!!!!!!!!
Just because a protective order has run out doesn't mean that he's any better a person. If the court has ordered visitation between he and your son (which they should never have done) then make arrangement through social services to have the father pick up the son at a neutral place or social services house so he is never alone with the child - worst case scenario is man beats (or worse) boy to teach you a lesson!
2006-08-21 11:07:22 · answer #2 · answered by Lee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You only need to teach your son that it is not OK to hurt people you owe this man nothing. Don't start trouble with him . When you feel it is necessary to be around him have someone else with you and do it in a public place. I had the same situation years ago and forgiving is great as long as you do it to be free of hate and not for him. Forgiving has little to do with him. It does take a weight off your shoulders though. it takes energy to hate, and room in your head , he dose not deserve to be there!
2006-08-21 11:38:40 · answer #3 · answered by Geedebb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you DON'T have to be nice to him and no you CAN'T be his friend. You can only be friends with someone who is a friend to you and anyone who hurts you is NOT your friend. Not now, not ever.
(p.s. The best thing you can give your son is a mother who is mentally stable because she feels safe and secure. it is NOT in your son's best interest to learn how to be an abuser who hits women. Do whatever you need to do to keep you and your son safe. Do that "for your son's sake.")
2006-08-21 11:21:19 · answer #4 · answered by sexy.cece 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can still maintain a standing relationship with him. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to be around him. It's good that you want to get along with the guy, but don't go out your way.
2006-08-21 11:14:37 · answer #5 · answered by windandwater 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋