I have a friend. All she does is talk about herself. She rambles on and on. I dread answering the phone, because she never stops talking and doesn't ask me about myself or how I am, and when she does, she doesn't even listen. I met her at church, I know I'm supposed to be patient and a good friend, but I have been avoiding her for like a month. Am I bad to do this? I want to call her, but am dreading it.........then again , I really don't want to call her, but she keeps leaving messages on my family's machine. Any advice or suggestions? Thanks everyone.
2006-08-21 10:38:05 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I 'divorced' a friend like that. I simply stopped calling her or taking her calls.
A few days after my 15-year-old son's funeral, she came to my house, threw herself down on the couch, and clearly expected me to comfort her in her sorrow at the death of MY son!
She had disliked him until it was clear that he didn't have much time left. Then she became his great buddy. Fortunately, I figured out that she was getting ready to wallow in the drama, so it wasn't a surprise, nor did it hurt much. (She even stood up at his memorial service and talked about their wonderful friendship.)
Lest you think your friend will mature and outgrow her self-absorption, my friend was well over 50.
2006-08-21 19:24:41 · answer #1 · answered by LazlaHollyfeld 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to start thinking of yourself. People like this are usually very insecure and lonely. I think you have to either avoid her and hopefully she will take the hint, or call her and tell her that you need some space and you will give her a call when you can. When you dread hearing from someone, its usually not a good sign. You obviously tried your best to be polite. I think you have to nip it in the bud before this goes on any further. Its time to save your sanity. Good luck!
2006-08-21 18:02:05 · answer #2 · answered by CTMEDS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is someone we would call an "energy vampire". You walk through life with good positive God-given energy most of the time and you want to be around people who generally have the same positive energy. This is normal and how God made you. Energy vampires lack enough positive energy to sustain themselves because of the choices they make (negative attitudes, etc.) They find it is easier to suck the life force out of others rather than changes themselves. You are not doing your friend or yourself any favors by continuing to allow yourself to be used that way. After all, there are probably other people who could thrive from your positive spirit. You should speak the truth in love to your "friend" and protect yourself from future energy vampires by praying, meditating and taking great care of yourself including surrounding yourself with loving friends. Good luck!
2006-08-21 17:56:34 · answer #3 · answered by tiaraontop 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See, I also have a frined like this. And I guess we all have! But the only suggestion I can give you to be a patient listener, and listen to what she wants to tell you. Maybe, take it from this angle. She doesn't have any other good friend than you and thus feels relived emptying her mind to you. She needs you, don't leave her....
2006-08-21 17:51:00 · answer #4 · answered by JKL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ask to slow down when shes talking. Try bringing up a topic and then start talking about that. Or even better just interrupt her when shes talking and then take over from there ;)
2006-08-21 17:47:45 · answer #5 · answered by Shinigami 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Interrupt her. That's really the only way to break her of the habit you have described. Put a list of possible topics you want to discuss by the phone if she goes in this monolog discussion about herself.
2006-08-21 20:03:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try emailing her. That way you can fill her in about what is going on without listening to a long response.
2006-08-21 17:52:53 · answer #7 · answered by Suesan W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋