How do you know when it is time to get divorced?

Question

When is it clear that you are having waaay too many arguments, and things aren't going to work themseves out???

Please help! This is a real life issue!!

Answer 1

When you are upset and unhappy more than you are calm and happy. When you dread being around the person and every little thing turns into an argument.

Answer 2

When you ask questions like this. Or when you just don't even care whether it works or not. Or when there has been too much damage done in the past for it to ever become what you wanted it to be, thats where I am right now, I tried to stick it out but I now realize that some things that happened early on just took too big a toll and it can never be what I really want, luckily I didn't marry him (just moved to another state...yep I'm that stupid). You will feel it, I think you already have felt it. There is just something inside of you that gives up and you don't even care about fighting anymore you just want it to be over. I told an ex of mine there wouldn't be any fight over it, there wasn't anything left to fight about that he just needed to leave because it was simply done. Thats how I knew that one was really over. As long as there is still fighting there is still something.

Answer 3

I can only answer for myself. I knew it was time to get a divorce when my spirit was nearly broken. I had lost my sense of self. I had become a mean b*tch to accompany the low down b*st*rd that I was married to. I didn't have any more tears to cry and I was all talked out. One night I was in the bed watching him sleep after he had been gone for a couple of days with his other woman then come home complaining to me like I was his damn mother or his maid--but I was the mother of his child. I imagined myself putting the pillow over his head and holding it there until he couldn't hurt me anymore. Then I came to my senses and realized that no man was worth this. Anyway, he was strong as an ox and would have shaken me off him and probably beat my a**. Plus, I had 2 daughters who were very young at the time, 2 & 5, and I didn't want them raised in such an unhealthy home. They needed to see me happy and strong. That's me now. They are 11 & 14. Life went on and I am a wiser person because of that poor excuse for a marriage.

Answer 4

No, not yet. See a marriage counselor and find out what you are really fighting about. Then, work on those issues. Generally, these kinds of arguments occur because one or both partners feel undervalued, unappreciated, disrespected, or lonely. Take a class or read some articles on how to fight fair and honestly.

If none of that works, then maybe it is time. Give it a try first.

Answer 5

There are some things that will not work themselves out you need intervention, such as couples counseling to provide some effective tools that neither of you possess....you work on it until it gets resolved...divorce for me was only an option when your partner is unfaithful or abusive to the point that it endangers you and/or your families life...way to many arguments...can be worked out.

Answer 6

When you have exhausted all mean of trying to heal the relationship. Counseling, talking things out, etc. Don't give up on the marriage just because you are arguing. Weigh the pros and cons before making a life altering decision. I hope things work out for you.

Answer 7

First off was it like this before you got marry..and if it was you set yourself for this. If is wasn't try to find out where it went wrong and work it out. If it gets to hot to handle then yes maybe is time for a divorce but that should really be the last result. Being that people seems to only get marry to get divorce these days.

Answer 8

When the love is gone. The communication stops. When there is no more compromising. Have you tried counseling? You can go as a couple or on your own. Sometimes when you have a 3rd party to help you two out it helps

Answer 9

When you come home and there is no talking, when you become a piece of the furniture and you disagree about every subject you do talk about. Even food. If you are truely unhappy then living in a loveless marriage is not right.

Answer 10

when you're constantly feuding and nothings seem to click anymore. you can't stand the person you're around with and you don't want to come home. always looking for an excuse to stay out. have you try counseling? if that don't work than you really need to sit down and talk to see what best for the two of you especially if kids are involved. break free of guilts...